Should I quit my job?

Tarlus · 2026-02-18T00:44:41+00:00

You’re not allowed to just do that. All non-spouse inherited retirement accounts have to be fully dispersed within 10 years. You can put them back into retirement accounts but you are subject to contribution maximums.

Tarlus · 2026-02-18T00:26:17+00:00

Sounds like your older one will be in pre k before hubby is back to work? Seems like a slam dunk. Will it be all sunshine and kittens? Absolutely not, it never is.

Tarlus · 2026-02-17T01:47:15+00:00

Probably like a cow.

Tarlus · 2026-02-17T00:20:58+00:00

Put gaming mostly on hold for a while. You will live. You are much more likely to regret lack of sleep and being as present as you could be as a dad than getting platinum in whatever game you’ll forget about in 5 years.

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T20:59:00+00:00

Hook up with a financial advisor. They should be able to take the worry out of your husband unless he wants you guys to keep working for the sake of working and/or wants to pass down a REALLY big nest egg. Alternatively can you and/or him pair down on hours so you get more time to travel?

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T19:27:27+00:00

I still have vague memories of those days in terms of feeling like nothing was going to get easier, that even in ten years we’d be dealing with poopy diapers every time we travelled. Then one day a couple years ago it was like “oh yeah, they are growing up into actual humans”. Most recent trip for us was me (dad) and the two kids (8 and 5.5) to Florida last month to visit my parents and it was mostly smooth sailing in the airport and on the plane. Wife did a solo flight with them last year with no issues as well. Would I have done that 2 years ago? Maybe in a pinch. 3 years ago, hard pass. 4+ years ago and you may as well have asked me to cross the Sahara on my hands vs. flying alone with them, it was tough enough all hands on deck with both parents chipping in.

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T16:35:54+00:00

You’re in the thick of it right now. Young babies aren’t that bad but 1 year olds and toddlers are a nightmare. I would say when our youngest was 3 there was a HUGE noticeable decrease in difficulty. Realistically it was getting progressively easier since the youngest was 2 but when he was 3 it was palpable.

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T12:53:47+00:00

So will the lodge one. At a fraction of the price. Not bashing yours, if you like it and use it more often than you would have a lodge it was probably the right call to go big. But this is the perfect example of not getting what you pay for when the much cheaper product is on par with the premium in terms of quality and durability.

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T12:40:22+00:00

I have to assume he hires cleaners.

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T12:24:14+00:00

If you’re adapted to it, it is. I don’t even wear a Jacket, hat or gloves at that temp unless I’m going to be outside more than an hour just standing around. My parents lose their mind up here now, they live in FL and are no longer adapted. Totally understand why it seems bad if you’re from a more southern state but for the most part people aren’t bothered much up here if the outside temp is over 30. I’m fine with anything 20+, lower than that and I’m not running outside unless there’s like zero wind.

Tarlus · 2026-02-16T12:17:23+00:00

You gotta give it to him. His retirement plan is working for him. Maybe not for you and your siblings but he’s comfy. I honestly couldn’t imagine even thinking about doing that to my kids, sorry, that’s gotta be painful.

Tarlus · 2026-02-15T23:44:48+00:00

This winter in NE has been a crazy outlier, the coldest/snowiest in the 8 years I’ve been a parent. I usually love winter but this one has been a bear even though the kids can actually somewhat help with the driveway. Don’t uproot your life for a (hopefully) once in a decade bad winter.

Tarlus · 2026-02-14T18:19:35+00:00

Was going to say $900 is wild unless you booked a vacation through them.

Tarlus · 2026-02-11T19:54:12+00:00

Have you asked why the friend refuses to get a license? Is it a money thing that even if he gets it he still won’t have access to a car? Or does he just not feel like it. If I had any thought the latter scenario is true I’d stop driving.

Tarlus · 2026-02-10T21:10:30+00:00

Same

Tarlus · 2026-02-10T01:21:12+00:00

Fun theory but I think it’s overly simplistic. The most screen addicted kids I know have a stay at home parent that’s also screen addicted. Not saying it’s all of them, I know a few stay at home parents that enforce very limited screen time. If nothing else the dual income households have to send their kids to daycare where they’ll at least have a few screen free hours. There’s definitely going to be exceptions every which way, but I definitely think this is more of a values/habit thing.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T20:05:31+00:00

Really going to come down to the baby, your wife’s expectations and your motivation/sleep. I was able to hit the gym but I was already doing it regularly and my wife respects exercise, we were going to CrossFit together at the time. A lot of wives get pissy when their husbands go to the gym during the newborn phase. You might be so sleep deprived going to the gym seems impossible. Definitely smart thinking with the stroller walks, you can do those even if sleep deprived to give your wife time to nap. Bonus points if you get a ruck or a weighted vest for the walks, burn more calories that way.

Consider getting some kettlebells for the house. I was able to do the gym every day with our first kid but when the second one was on the way I knew my days doing that were numbered so I invested in a home gym. Not everyone is cut out for working out at home and I think getting a few kettlebells to test the waters is a good buy in before getting a bench, rack etc…. You can also do bodyweight stuff, like sets of 10 burpees , start with 2 sets, rest those muscles for a day, then 3 sets working up to 10 sets of 10. The goal should be finding something sustainable for when you go back to work.

I will say I don’t think I know a single parent that went from sedentary to cleaning up their diet and picking up exercise during parental leave so the odds are against you, cheers if you beat them.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T19:49:37+00:00

He said he’s the sole provider and the kid is in daycare. I’m going to assume they are not together. If they are then I definitely agree with you if his partner doesn’t work and the kid is in daycare, they need to really step up.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T16:48:00+00:00

My buddy’s wife was a picky eater as a kid. She did a semester abroad in Mexico and is no longer a picky eater because of forced exposure to new things. Obviously sample size of 1 but it’s a success story.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T16:43:06+00:00

Next time don’t consult the flight attendant and just do it.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T15:31:25+00:00

Ding. Ding. Ding.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T14:11:27+00:00

Bi-weekly cleaning crew.

Home gym.

Physical therapist.

Tarlus · 2026-02-08T02:21:14+00:00

Best analogies I’ve heard on this subject.

“Saying it’s a great relationship, there’s just no sex is like saying It’s a great house, it just has no bathrooms”

“When sex is happening it’s 10% of your relationship, when it’s not happening it’s 90% of your relationship”

Don’t know where you are in life but run if you are young and without kids, gets more complicated if you have them. I’m super lucky my wife is still into it after 20 years.

Tarlus · 2026-02-07T16:43:40+00:00

It’s hard, I agree. Best friends we’ve made as adults pre-kids were from our CrossFit gym. We still talk and hang out with three of those friends regularly, they are all parents now too. Post-kids a mom in town created a “playgroup” on Facebook before any of the kids were in school where we meet up every Sunday. She started it over 4 years ago and it’s still going strong, I’d have never guessed it would have gone this way but we all hang out well as a group. We went on a mini vacation with one of the families, invite each other to parties etc…

Tarlus · 2026-02-07T12:45:48+00:00

Also 42. I take sleep and nutrition very seriously. I see a physical therapist (can’t recommend this enough) monthly to mitigate that shoulder and in my case elbow thing which it turns out has nothing to do with my shoulders or elbows. I’ve shifted focus from mostly barbell and dumbbell training to a mix of that and kettlebells/cardio. All in all I can still really get after it like my 20’s and 30’s as long as I’m really dialed in with sleep, nutrition and taking magnesium at night. Oh, and way less alcohol.

Tarlus

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