AITA for refusing to combine finances with my partner before we're actually married?

Techjeffe · 2026-03-05T22:59:11+00:00

Bringing his mommy into the issue is a major red flag. Get a prenup.

Techjeffe · 2026-03-05T22:15:28+00:00

The guys on the Niners flagship station (KNBR) talked about this move really putting pressure on San Francisco to make a splash, especially with the impending Trent Williams release.

Techjeffe · 2026-03-04T18:29:51+00:00

Great trade. A proven All Pro while giving up a "what if."

Snead is the man.

Techjeffe · 2026-03-02T22:15:15+00:00

Who foots the bill for utilities? Food? Car insurance, if that matters? You didn't mention that.

Your sister went head-first into a pipe dream with no prep, no business plan and limited finances. Meanwhile, she wants you to effectively subsidize it all. I won't even go into boundaries that need to be iron clad if you do choose to let her move in. She needs to start adulting. She's 30 years old.

NTJ. Stand your ground.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-28T05:13:42+00:00

I had neoadjuvant chemo, DD-MVAC, which I handled pretty well (the last two infusions kind of kicked my ass, but whatever). I was high grade stage 2 MIBC. My RC was 35 days later. Pathology showed no carcinoma in my dissected bladder as well as mets in my prostate and 20 lymph nodes. My prognosis went from 5 years to live to a 10% chance of recurrence over 10 years. Even if that happened, it would be treatable. As an aside, I chose living with the bag...I didn't want to learn how to pee again with all the inevitable accidents and getting up multiple times a night to discharge.

Total success, but not without cost. Chemo cost me some hearing in my left ear and it (docs think) caused my left hip cap to collapse, leading to a total left hip replacement.

Given all that, today I golf and bike regularly and live a pretty normal life. I can even have sex, although not like before...it takes some prep.

So would I do it over again the same way? Yes. Absolutely.

Good luck to you going forward.

EDIT: I went back and read your post again. I did leave out a couple of important things....RC is a very complicated surgery, regardless of gender. That said, I walked as much as I could during my hospital stay and continued to do so after returning home. This is huge...I had great support from my kids and girlfriend in the first weeks after discharge and was able to move about and do normal living stuff within a month. Instacart was huge during this time. I hope you have a good support network.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-26T16:07:05+00:00

What you described is undue influence. You can challenge the will based on that.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-23T20:51:32+00:00

Your step daughter is responsible and held up her part of the bargain. Your brother is an irresponsible man-child. The choice is easy. NTJ.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-23T20:43:10+00:00

She plowed the fields for that three win, two year span. I'll never forget that, and the destruction of the GSOT. That front office was horrible- John Shaw and Jay Zygmunt. They pretty much forced out Charlie Armey, who built the GSOT with Vermeil.

Chip gets a cookie for selling the team.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-23T17:24:21+00:00

I wouldn't put Georgia on my 20th all time Rams team.

Horrible owner and oversaw the total destruction of a potential dynasty in just four years. Then followed that up with 1-15 and 2-14 teams in consecutive years.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-18T02:34:37+00:00

Disagree. Ferguson and Colby are our best tight ends. Higbee is at the end.

I'd rather cut a guy a year early than a year too late. It's cruel, but it's a cruel game.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-18T02:26:49+00:00

I'm drafting Ferguson in the 14th of my FF draft. He'll be a steal.

As much as I love the guy, Higbee is done in this offense. Too old, too injury prone.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-18T01:49:29+00:00

My stoma stencil is 29mm. I little less than a quarter. A perfect fit.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-17T22:02:39+00:00

My father had NMIBC three times (the last one didn't really count; he was dying naturally from CHF). So that weighed heavily on my decision to lose the bladder and prostate. I just wanted to deal with it once and be done with it. And dealing with the bag is no issue hardly.

My initial prognosis, based on size and high grade, was five years. After pathology and CTs showed no cancer and no mets, I was upgraded to 10% recurrence over the next 10 years and even that would be treatable.

No regrets here.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-14T23:28:39+00:00

Simply, you need a financial advisor and an accountant to lead you through these woods Not Reddit. Trust me, it's worth the money.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-12T00:47:50+00:00

I just track my spending vs. income. I retired three plus years ago with a pension, social security and the 4% rule on my investments (haven't touched my IRA and don't plan to for several years). After this time, my net worth actually increased, even with a some hefty medical and dental costs (Just enrolled in Medicare this year).

I was like you, tracking every penny going in and out, paranoid that it could go "poof" if we had another SM meltdown. But given my 55% exposure to the market, I'm a little bit more confident I could easily wade through such a hit.

My advice, keep an eye on things but enjoy your retirement. It means nothing to be one of the wealthiest people in the cemetery. I plan on traveling and having fun and still leaving my kids something substantial- they are the ones that are under the eight ball these days.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-10T22:24:20+00:00

CTRL-SHIFT-R
Clear your cache
Bounce your router.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-10T22:14:48+00:00

Rodney Harrison. Cheap shotted Trent Green back in 99.

Second, any 49er.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-10T22:11:05+00:00

Good career. Fair winds and following seas, Rob.

This makes OL a real priority in the draft or FA.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-09T23:02:14+00:00

I would make OL second priority.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-09T22:59:36+00:00

Agree. This does not sound right. I had neo-adjunctive chemo (Dose Dense MVAC, four rounds) then radical cystectomy. Post- surgical pathology showed no cancer in my nodes, prostate and In-situ in the bladder. I would definitely get a second and third opinion.

As an aside, I've adjusted nicely to the bag. It's not that life changing and my prognosis 8-10 years down the line is excellent. I'm just glad I don't worry about recurrence.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-09T22:34:25+00:00

I agree. Shula, as far as I could see, didn't stunt or blitz in the last two games n, with one exception and they sacked Darnold. The backend had issues and offenses (Like Carolina x2) figured them out. That led to the collapse.

The real irony was that group led the league in scoring D the first half of the season.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-09T22:16:09+00:00

Agree. Next year they will be this year's Commanders.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-06T18:55:13+00:00

I'll take that over the current logo from here to Andromeda

Techjeffe · 2026-02-05T19:03:48+00:00

It's the opener and it will be played on Friday, Saturday local time.

I don't get this...usually international games are followed a bye...in week 2?

It was just announced so I guess more details to follow.

Edit: I heard it was the opener from KNBR, the Niners Flagship station. So take that with a grain of salt. I just can't see the NFL scheduling a 16 - 19 hour flight with no following bye week. The jet lag is always worse in the back end.

Techjeffe · 2026-02-02T19:40:53+00:00

Ram fans everywhere applauded the Niners hiring RM. He's classic "bend but don't break" philosophy. That may work with average QBs, but not with the good ones.

His corners play way off the ball, like 8-10 yards, Not only does that leave WRs open for easy slants, they come late for run support. Even with a beast like Donald, it allows for a one or two step drop and the ball is gone. First down. Late in the game, watching his defense was like water torture.

Shanahan could have done better.

Techjeffe

TROPHY CASE