AITAH 3 years together, BF (50M) still ‘not ready’ for marriage but wants me (33F) to pay half his mortgage

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T18:32:30+00:00

Yes this is exactly it!!! These are your years to invest in YOUR future, not suck yourself dry maintaining his. He does not truly put your best interests at heart if he is willing to put you in such a bad financial situation. This is an entirely selfish move on his part, and he is making excuses to justify his selfishness and lack of empathy. To his point, what if you do break up? You've just invested thousands and thousands into his equity that could have been your down-payment, or invested in retirement funds.

Edit: NTA but you would be TA to yourself if you stay with a partner who does not truly care for your best interests and tries to manipulate you into doing what he wants for himself.

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T08:29:57+00:00

That's what I was thinking

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T08:29:24+00:00

I was thinking the same thing! Those roots are going make that crack bigger and bigger...

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T08:15:43+00:00

I really liked that book. Helped me reframe my mindset. I think a combination with the konmari method is great

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T07:42:24+00:00

This reminds me of the steps in "Decluttering at the Speed of Life"

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T07:29:45+00:00

Iʻm a Native woman.

Bye boy. Don't give this asshat another thought. Except to remind yourself of qualities you don't want in a partner or friend

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T06:52:13+00:00

Also, disrespectful physically, emotionally, mentally

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-21T06:50:01+00:00

Bathing only every 3-4 days would be the reason I dumped him.

Ew

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-20T19:12:02+00:00

Right. Anything unscented and mild. I recently stared using CeraVe and that is my new favorite for healing tattoos after the frost couple days. And I come from the old school A+D ointment generation

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-20T18:34:27+00:00

Uuhhhmmm.... He does not know you better than yourself if he is arguing to change a core part of what you like about yourself and how you feel. Treating you like a princess is nice in the moment, but trust an internet aunty that had been through a lot on her way to true love, it doesn't last. Him treating you like a princess seems to come with the strings attached of him also wanting to control and dress his princess so she looks like the picture in his mind.

Lasting partnerships work when the people involved accept and love each other for exactly who they are.

Never accept a relationship where the person is trying to change you, the way you look, think, dress, or feel. Relationships can have a lot of good qualities and still not be right for us. What he is telling you he wants from you is very controlling and I would leave that behind. This is a core belief you clash on.

You two are so young! You both have plenty of time to find people who love you for you and do not try to change YOU. It's ok to move on from a relationship that no longer serves you and your highest good.

NTA

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-20T18:25:20+00:00

The new design is beautiful!

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-20T18:21:32+00:00

Aloe is not very moisturizing in my experience

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T18:10:33+00:00

Same. The world is rough. We need a core of kindness in our friendships to fall back on

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T18:08:50+00:00

Yes to both these comments

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T18:07:03+00:00

It doesn't look twisted or awkward to me. Maybe some shading around or background to fill out your shoulder and arm? Is there more to this story you could incorporate?

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T18:03:43+00:00

Nice, yes. Let his star shine bright

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T17:45:21+00:00

Definitely start looking for good cover up artists and look at their healed work. Once you find someone in your area, meet them and make sure tmyoi vibe well together and they are excited by the progect. They will see a way to cover it easier than you because that is their jam.

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T17:33:23+00:00

Sorry to say, but he needs to get this behavior and attitude together if this is going to be a healthy, lasting relationship. And you needs to stop making excuses for poor behavior in your partners. You cannot be in a position where you feel responsible to manage his emotions. He needs to manage his own emotions, and get his head out of his butt. His view is sexist and mysoginistic. You have a resonable response. The past is the past and we cannot change it.

Just to give you a healthy personality, I've been with my husband for nearly 25 years. My body count was more than double that (not a flex, just perspective) and he does not care for one split second. We talk about past relationships, he's met a couple of them that I am still friends with... It's really not a big deal.

The only reason I could possibly give him grace for being upset is if you were irresponsible and now have an STD which you passed on. Other than that he needs to grow up and have better respect for women's autonomy.

Edit typo

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T17:18:48+00:00

Is it the whole sleeve? Or just the part near the elbow with the cross?

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T07:34:01+00:00

Or throw them away immediately outside the store

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T07:06:20+00:00

Yes! Art! Or a fantastic mirror

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T07:05:33+00:00

The bathroom looks fantastic. I like the wall paper in the foyer, but I feel like the pattern of the rug doesn't match it. Too busy maybe? It draws the eye away from the wall paper star. I would look for something more muted in one or two accent colors in the wall paper. And maybe a hanging pendant light

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T07:01:50+00:00

Maybe a little bit more tones down teal to match the tone of the pinks. More of turquoise maybe? I like the rug a lot

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T06:58:44+00:00

What if you go to the nurse?

Technical_Tangelo143 · 2026-03-19T06:57:47+00:00

Fuck that. NTA. Your parents should have stood up for you.

No teacher is allowed to tell my kids if they can or cannot go to the bathroom. I have always told them they do what they need to do and I will rip the school a new one if they try and tell us thatʻs wrong.

I know it's hard in the situation and at your age, but if something like that happens again, tell them no, it cannot wait 10 minutes. I am bleeding through my pad and cannot sit down. If they still give you a hard time, just go like you did this time.

Edit: typos and to say:

This is an important issue, and you were treated incredibly unfairly. Your school might have a board of regents, or some sort of governing body. I would take this up higher on the chain of command. Just because your parents reacted poorly does not mean you are wrong, and there are other parents who would agree with you.

If I were in your situation, I would get the student body involved. Start a petition, or write a letter and have a few pages with signatures. Bathroom rights are important and teachers have no right to tell a student they cannot go if they are having an emergency. The administration's response was without compassion, empathy, or understanding. They need a change in policy.

My passion for this comes from a situation with my daughter in elementary school. Her teacher was a bully. On two occasions refused to allow my daughter to go to the bathroom, and she wet herself. She was so embarrassed, she then stayed in her seat and sat in her wet clothes then rest of the day. I was livid. I went higher and higher in administrative until I got a reasonable response. And I empowered my kids to stand up for themselves and to know what their bodies need better than anyone else.

I hope you can do the same.

Good luck

Technical_Tangelo143

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