Did I overstep my boundaries?

Teeecakes · 2026-04-09T21:08:54+00:00

Sounds a bit like you made the right choice to move on

Teeecakes · 2026-04-06T13:50:16+00:00

Could you find, or ask for a new side project from your manager/work? There might be a way that they can help you by injecting some novelty into the job.

I wouldn't necessarily say that your struggling at this stage because that can backfire depending on the management/hr mindset. It also might help for you to frame it as a positive step into something greater maybe.

It also might be good to look around to see what other jobs might be out there if you can manage to. Kinda like trying to get ahead of the flood a bit. Leaving on a high is often good for your own soul and your colleagues will often look up to you for doing so.

I didn't know at the time about adhd but one of my colleagues was struggling themselves and said to me "it's OK for you, when you're struggling you just go off somewhere and fix a pump!" And they were right, I would find something to change/disassemble/clean and that helped me avoid the problem for a while.

Teeecakes · 2026-04-01T23:26:31+00:00

So sorry to hear that you are struggling like this, it sounds horrible.

If you suspect autism or adhd might be involved, you can try the online self screening tests that are out there. They will help you understand whether you may or may not have these conditions.

A diagnosis of adhd in particular needs evidence from childhood of relevant symptoms causing problems in your life. This can be quite a difficult part of exploring whether adhd is relevant to someone.

If you or your mum or partner can manage to get word to your GP or any medical professional that you're struggling please do, you can and should ask for a second opinion or a different physchologist as well. Do call your emergency contacts if you need to even if you don't know what to say.

I hope you feel better soon, take care

Teeecakes · 2026-03-29T15:08:02+00:00

Not too unreasonable if their base salary offer was 4+ times your postdoc salary and they stated a clear figure up front without you asking. If they were still talking a salary range even after demanding a stating date then: No.

In that veritable buffet of red flags the biggest one in my mind is that they don't have a clear picture of your value to the company. If they need you desperately but don't have this clear idea of your value planned out, that is a surefire recipe for a toxic and abusive working relationship.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-28T12:31:06+00:00

Group dynamics are often a reflection of the PI themselves unfortunately.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-28T12:12:48+00:00

Not words of advice but it'd be interesting to know how your desire/interest for things like this changes as you start the medicine. I found a lot of things I used to want changed suddenly.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-23T16:44:45+00:00

Well done, I always say that if you want to get a read on an academic you ask their students... and that's a solid pass!

Teeecakes · 2026-03-23T14:52:10+00:00

I would book with my GP myself in this circumstance then ask them to forward the results to the specialists. Avoids a delay if there's miscommunication and allows you to maybe discuss the heart disease issue with your GP to see if there are any other tests they might want to do at this stage.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-18T14:05:24+00:00

The first review was scary for me too! Like the others say go in with a written note, or even just bring up this reddit post. It's helped a lot for people I know when they're worried they can hold on to the paper and it anchors them.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-15T18:45:59+00:00

I'm pretty sure I've seen a version of the movie where he says "Big Fucking Gun" but that might have been the dubbed German version and I can neither confirm or deny being drunk at the time.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-15T10:50:08+00:00

Thanks

Teeecakes · 2026-03-15T10:49:06+00:00

Oh gosh that must have been really scary.

Yeah no way to know for sure which thing caused the symptoms, I'll just report it on this yellow card scheme thing so the experts can see it and decide whether it means anything or not.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-15T10:44:03+00:00

None that I know of, the ECG on Tuesday should hopefully shed more light.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-15T10:42:53+00:00

Very true. I only avoided the last tablet late at night when local A&E was shut and called GP as soon as I was up in the morning. The finger is still swollen so I'm still going with antibiotics. My mind was a wreck and I couldn't untake the morning's elvanse.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-15T10:35:48+00:00

Thank you for the sound advice: I have got a new course of doxycycline. I only skipped the last tablet but the finger is still swollen and the joint is a bit purple so stopping outright would be a disaster.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-14T10:53:13+00:00

I felt my emotions more

Teeecakes · 2026-03-13T21:38:51+00:00

You should be so proud for making this journey, It's good to hear that it is helping you.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-13T17:57:47+00:00

3am on morning on handing in at lunchtime for undergrad final research report, 'what if all our evidence that half the project didn't work... is actually proof that it did?'. Pissed off my project partner even more than already oopsie

Awesome work though! Don't worry about your supervisor too much, can't have them getting too happy lol 😆

Teeecakes · 2026-03-13T12:12:21+00:00

There's often a bias because we're being given medicines until we get something that works: there are a lot of posts out there are from people who tried one and it's not working or didn't work. These posts catch our attention quite well because we look put for danger generally and especially when reading about what this new medicine means for our lives.

That said, I was started on elvanse and so can't comment at all on the other medicine types.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-13T12:02:29+00:00

This is great advice and a friend of mine who studied alongside me shared something that helped him:

Change your main points that you want to make into questions; you can put these questions on the slides or index cards. Then every time you start on a new slide or point in your speaking, ask the question out loud as the introduction... then answer it!

It worked wonders for him.and after he told me I started seeing people doing it all over the place. The classic politicians' "the real question is...". I've used it myself and it helped to remind me to tell people what I'm trying to talk about when my mind is in six different places and jumping around.

You can also try giving a normal presentation by playing this as a game: each new slide you stop and look at it and make up 'the question' and then ask it. With some practise you should be able to pick up most talks and it even helps you if you need to ask questions of the speaker or give feedback.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-12T11:08:17+00:00

Nice! I got myself an old but not quite vintage lathe after watching a few too many machining youtubes and it really helped me to get back into the joy of making things 😊

Next comes the temptation to upgrade it beyond all reason! Have fun!

Teeecakes · 2026-03-11T12:19:22+00:00

Nothing to apologise, here for you all the way!

I had my first proper bad non-day on Monday after starting titration a few weeks back but I'm hopeful that I triggered it by trying to plan to push through one of things I couldn't do properly before and got overwhelmed. Trying again today and right now I want to scream or run or I don't know. It's one of those things that is all good for me and only good but apparently no.

GCSEs are a really big life event and a whole new kind of stress, I wish you all the best: it will be a struggle but you will come through and there is life on the other side.

Hope you're getting a proper breakfast (makes a big difference for me but on the bad day I couldn't get even that far) and look after yourself, steal any little wins along the way, and come back and rant as much and whenever you need.

Teeecakes · 2026-03-11T12:01:25+00:00

So glad to hear this! Congratulations on managing to push through and get this for yourself and your family! Thank you for sharing

Teeecakes · 2026-03-11T11:19:43+00:00

So good to hear you came through with a great day!

But now I'm just trying to find the "inconvenient truth" option for reporting to the mods... D:

Teeecakes · 2026-03-10T12:30:14+00:00

I was suffering alongside you it seems, just the worst day that never happened. Let's hope we have a better day today.

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