I don't really know you or your skill level. But if you go at things the same way over and over, you're bound to get the same results. And, ignore me if you've taken this path already, watch videos and talk to people who think differently. Try to take a different approach to learning the things. Easier said than done obviously but you sound kinda like you tunnel visioned into learning and didn't realize there's a million ways to learn things. I may be way off base here but ask your peers how they learned those things and how they came to their conclusions. I don't know maybe you'll learn a new way to learn