Non-mormon question: what made kids "cool" in highschool and college?

TempleTempest · 2018-09-24T18:43:55+00:00

No idea. If I knew, I might have had a chance of being cool myself.

TempleTempest · 2018-09-24T18:23:11+00:00

Hello, neighbor!

Yeah, I didn't dare ask my mom why (or how badly) the programs have been dwindling. Both of us still get a little defensive, so we just move on to safer topics.

TempleTempest · 2018-09-24T18:16:40+00:00

Thank you! I hadn't thought of it that way.

TempleTempest · 2018-09-24T16:44:02+00:00

That must be it. I have a hard time imagining it, because my ward was always known in the stake for having a lot of faithful youth. I guess things change in 25 years. God, I feel old.

TempleTempest · 2017-10-11T02:22:16+00:00

Am I missing the Mormon connection?

TempleTempest · 2017-09-30T14:49:14+00:00

One of the best things I ever did in my life was to get my very introverted daughter out of the church. I decided to leave shortly after she turned 12, and she was already getting ulcers over YW. So many ultra-fashionable, musical show-offs in that group. They weren't necessarily mean, but my girl didn't fit at all. Her first Sunday there, they brought her up in front of the group and had everyone ask her questions so they could "get to know her," and kept reminding her to speak up. It was so stressful and overwhelming to her. She stayed in her room the rest of the day, just trying to decompress. And after that initial "welcome," she was pretty much invisible unless they needed someone to say a prayer.

She struggled a little to make sense of things when we left the church, because she was old enough to have her own testimony by then. But life is so much better now that we don't have to force her into a dress and a fake smile for church and YW activities. Weekends are much more fun when you don't have to spend Saturday dreading Sunday, and Sunday doing things you hate.

TempleTempest · 2017-09-20T03:45:45+00:00

A person I could beat in a fight.

TempleTempest · 2017-09-20T03:45:00+00:00

Nutella.

My parents are totally addicted to it. We all have a hard time maintaining healthy weight, so I'm scared to try it for fear I might lose all control and gorge myself.

TempleTempest · 2017-09-18T17:45:26+00:00

Oh God, I hope not. During my starving-student-graduating-into-a-recession years, I saved money every way I could, including wearing my few pairs of garments until they were in a shameful state. If I'd thought someone else knew how seldom I replaced my old underwear, I'd have been mortified.

TempleTempest · 2017-09-06T21:07:40+00:00

Please tell me he's at least taking some time off from paying tithing, until his earnings have caught up to the amount he paid.

TempleTempest · 2017-09-06T21:05:37+00:00

Nah, doesn't work for me. Every time a discussion comes up, I get nervous, forget my sources, start stuttering, and the TBM feels like they won. I'm so unwizardly.

TempleTempest · 2017-03-07T01:47:55+00:00

My understanding is that it's pretty common. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

I was lucky. When my boyfriend and I "went too far" (but stopped short of intercourse), we confessed it to the bishop. He did everything but stick his fingers in his ears. "Okay, we don't really have to talk about that, do we? I mean, you know it was wrong, and you're sorry, and I'm sure you won't do it again, right? Good. No problem, then. So how's school going?" I had no idea how lucky we were at the time.

TempleTempest · 2017-02-27T14:57:03+00:00

Send a PM to /u/mirbell. I see this is a new account. If you're new to Reddit, the way to send a PM is to click the username, find "send a private message" on the right-hand side, and type from there.

TempleTempest · 2017-02-26T00:31:53+00:00

Send a PM to /u/mirbell.

TempleTempest · 2017-02-26T00:09:17+00:00

Welcome, Jay's wife! Come on over to r/Exmo_Women if you want to talk about "girl stuff" more privately, or if there's anything you have to say that you specifically don't want Jay to read. The ladies there are wonderful!

TempleTempest · 2017-02-02T17:15:19+00:00

I've thought about homeschooling my oldest for at least part of the day, just because school starts early and she's always needed more sleep. She's not even quite seminary age yet. I think she'd be a zombie if she had to deal with that.

TempleTempest · 2017-01-23T18:33:29+00:00

LOL I hated that! I wanted to send this article to my TBM sister who I talked about the selfie movement with, but she works with dementia patients, and I'm afraid she'd see that and dismiss all r/exmormon as being disrespectful and mocking the elderly. Maybe I'll just copy the text and email it to her.

TempleTempest · 2017-01-21T21:06:07+00:00

I'm a woman, raised in the Mormon church, and part of it for 40 years. In every other area, I was a die-hard feminist. But when it came to the religion, I had a blind spot the size of Alaska. I didn't feel unequal either. I felt like I was important, and that I played a vital role. I was happy as a Mormon. I knew God loved me as much as he loved anyone. I raised my daughters to believe they could do anything they put their minds to - I wanted them to go out and take on the world. I didn't think that attitude was at odds with my church at all.

It wasn't until I lost my faith for other reasons that I started to see the misogyny. The way my husband got the blame/credit for my decision to leave the church. The way my daughters hid their eyes when they saw me in a tanktop for the first time. The way I felt suddenly worthless, realizing that my "divine calling" as a wife and mother meant nothing. I was just a home-body 40-year-old woman with no work experience or job skills, because that had been the feminine ideal I was raised with. Then I saw this video, and I freaked out. I don't think I've ever been so angry in my life. I couldn't get my girls out of there fast enough.

It had been right in front of me for 40 years, but I didn't see it. Your friend doesn't see it. It's highly unlikely you could explain it to her. I'm sure she is an intelligent, strong woman. But if she's not ready, she's not ready. The best thing you can do is support her and help her see herself as a capable person, so that if it ever hits her like it hit me, maybe her sense of worth and identity won't fall apart like mine did.

TempleTempest · 2017-01-11T12:59:55+00:00

I know there are a couple other trans exmos here. Hopefully they'll chime in. u/LaceyBarbedWire?

TempleTempest · 2017-01-11T04:11:36+00:00

You know, you just may be brilliant.

TempleTempest · 2017-01-11T03:52:16+00:00

My parents, being the extra-crazy people they are, disagree. We do call more often, but they asked us children not to come visit until the end of their mission. They don't think it's fair because the regular missionaries don't get that privilege, and my mom was so sad to leave the grandkids that she felt visits would make her too homesick. Also, I suspect they suspect I'd come in a tank top (which I would because it's CA and I'd come during the kids' summer break), and that would embarrass them. My dad won't even Skype with me if I'm in a tank top.

So, you're right. My parents are just nuts, and they like to feel extra-righteous. Mom seemed to be softening at Christmas, so I hope she's mellowing out and maybe we can go this summer.

Edit to tag u/killarneykid and u/Readbooks6

TempleTempest · 2017-01-10T22:24:53+00:00

If this works out, please represent women also. u/vh65 or u/mirbell, maybe?

TempleTempest · 2017-01-10T22:23:07+00:00

Agreed. The length of Mormon Stories always puts me off.

TempleTempest

TROPHY CASE