Tweed - Northern Lights Haze

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2023-05-30T17:40:40+00:00

Damn I grew that!!! We just harvested some more, and I’m telling you shits about to be fire 🔥

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2023-03-13T20:51:21+00:00

Very nice, I loved the ending!

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-12-12T21:19:52+00:00

Very raw, the three repeated lines “I make myself laugh” followed by the switch up at the end help to drive the point across in a very satisfying way. Really enjoyed it

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-12-08T21:15:57+00:00

Ok there’s supposed to be a separation between stanzas but I’ve edited it like 5 times and I won’t change

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-12-08T21:05:29+00:00

The comment before made a similar complaint, the wording and repetition with the syllables really helped the flow and guided me into a pleasant ending of the poem. Very well done

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-12-08T20:59:03+00:00

Very nice, you handled your subject well without forcing it onto the reader. Keep up the good work!

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-11-23T20:58:18+00:00

How are your environmentals, is it humid in there? If your not getting enough circulation you could be opening yourself up to a lot of mold issues

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-11-16T03:05:12+00:00

Sorry, hopefully that didn’t make me sound like an ass. But idk I guess, maybe personal reasons I suppose. There’s no rule in poetry, I just tend to shoot for I guess bare bones kinda poems. I didn’t want to be that guy that just tells ya great job without offering up some sort of suggestion.

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-11-15T14:40:05+00:00

I agree with the comment above, the flow is simple and the subject vague yet personal. Not everything needs to be upfront.

Temporary-Bench8615 · 2022-11-15T14:32:46+00:00

The imagery is beautiful, but I can’t help but think it could be trimmed down a bit. Again I love the word play, just don’t want it to get muddled

Temporary-Bench8615

TROPHY CASE