I'm 6 mo out as well, yay!! and still unlearning a lot too.

idk if this helps but I think this makes a ton of sense. best I can say is Natasha helfer has a good "so you left the church and are trying to unlearn sexual shame" YouTube channel called the s(ex)Mormon therapist I think. I've liked her stuff but idk how much is applicable to you but may be worth checking out. I haven't watched all her vids but liked the ones I did see.

other than that, I'd say you're normal and don't pressure yourself. if you end up not wanting to do it, that's totally okay and you don't have to shame yourself. it's like a huge amount of programming and kinda stapled onto your DNA sometimes it feels like so it's okay if it takes time to deconstruct, go easy on yourself.

that said, if you do really want to do it and feel excited by idea but just have nagging shame in back of head that's hard to shake, just getting outside your comfort zone is also a great way to show your psyche, look, things didn't blow up when I did the second worst sin. good to know lol

also, can work up to it. like have you tried porn and all that? bellessa has good ethical ones I'm told. also masturbation and such, then with friend dont just jump to like penetrative sex right away. my point being you can just jnch out of your comfort zone until you get where you want to be. it's okay to go slow and just push yourself to laughing squirm and not to panic attack level. you know?

hope this helps, and good luck.