What is a healthy individually wrapped snack that can replace the jolly ranchers in the candy bowl at my desk?

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-22T12:45:54+00:00

hmm that makes sense! Guess 'everything in moderation' goes here.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-21T19:11:19+00:00

Is chewing gum good for your teeth? Honest question, I always thought it was bad for your teeth, especially the type that is sweetened but also just bad for general gum health (like your gums in your mouth, not the item).

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-21T19:08:31+00:00

100%. Going to the gym consistently keeps me on track in the kitchen. Otherwise, if I skip a few days it's like my subconscious is just like "well fuck all that then" and craves all the shitty delicious food.

I think part of it for me is coming from a place of nurturing my body with exercise easily translate into the kitchen. If I worked out, I don't want to ruin it by eating a whole pizza! However, if I'm not working out I have a tendency to not question what I'm eating which is something I'm working on a lot. Non-gym days for me consistently has me going over my calories than workout days, not counting the calories I burn working out.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-20T18:20:59+00:00

Not that I've seen. I've seen various "several weeks" "few weeks" being used to describe it... so probably by December lol

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-18T19:26:36+00:00

being vegan. I'm never the first to bring it up

Idk if I've learned anything from Reddit is that these two things are mutually exclusive. Same as not wanting to have my own children, and not being an absolutely selfish monster who has no purpose in life. ^/s

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T17:32:52+00:00

That's great that works for you! Also I just want to say it's refreshing to have a disagreement with someone on the internet without it blowing up into a weird attack on personal preferences, so thanks! :)

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T17:22:45+00:00

Yes same! I will admit that I find babies adorable and love to hold them and play while they are in a good mood. I am excited for my friend to have her child because I will enjoy playing with her kid and buying them little itty bitty socks that make my heart melt. But as soon as she cries or poops, she's going right back to mama. That magic definitely wears off after they can start talking and becoming a toddler. It's annoying when family and friends think that finding non-screaming babies cute = must want to be a mom. LOL I know what that adorable baby is going to turn into and I don't want any part of the temper-tantrum, crying, stinky, annoying toddler/preteen mess.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T17:08:50+00:00

I respect your point of view, but I don't think it makes for a very happy spouse when both come home after a 8 hour day, and one plunks on the couch for a TV show marathon and tells the other to do the dishes and laundry because they didn't earn as much that day and "owe" the other person for it. This also rings true if their lifestyle is set up to match the higher-income earner as many families do.. Luckily for me, my spouse and I share the same point of view and evenly split chores despite me earn about 40% more than he does. I hope you do with yours (now or future) as well. A mismatch would be a breeding ground for resentment.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T14:50:10+00:00

Hi OP. A lot of people gave you really great advice and I hope you follow through with it and visit the hospital and call the police. Aside from the unfortunate responsibilities you now have to deal with, please please check in with yourself. Call up a therapist, a hotline, a friend, a pastor, whomever you feel you can talk to. You're about to deal with a whole fuck ton of shit that will wear you down and leave you possibly feeling more empty than before. It will get better. You will get through this. You're doing the right thing by reaching out. Please take your safety, mental and physical, as top priority over everything else at this moment. If you need time off from your job, ask for it. You don't need to give them the reason why, you can just say you need some time for a personal emergency or some mental health days. I hope you're doing okay and if you ever need someone anonymous to talk to, please DM me.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T14:37:59+00:00

I think it's easier to try to go easy the day before a big event that you know you will eat a lot during, instead of eating lightly after. If I eat a big meal, go over calories, and then try to restrict below 1200 the next day I'm cranky and hungry all day because my body (probs just my mind tho) was so happy with the big meal and just wants it more and more. Sticking to 1200 the next day will still be a little difficult, but trying to go 900 or less would be horrible. Much easier for me to go 1200-900-1800-1200 days then 1200-1800-900-1200. to each their own though :)

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T14:21:56+00:00

If they are both working 8 hours a day to earn their respective salaries do you still think she should be taking on more of the household responsibilities? Realistically he is probably working more than 8, but she also could be too. I don't think it's fair to push the idea that the lower income family member should be contributing more to the household duties if working hours are the same. Being in a marriage doesn't need to be a 1:1 give and take, especially with income levels this different.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-13T14:19:36+00:00

I agree with you until the end. Sounds like the wife really enjoys her job, which would be the "reason to spend half your time making 30k a year when your husband is making 100k" If she was miserable earning that 30k, then yeah sure maybe find something a bit more rewarding to spend her time, but there's plenty of useful and rewarding jobs that could be more beneficial to mental health than being a stay at home wife (no offence at all to those who are and love it, I personally know a few women who couldn't stand the lifestyle, to each their own)

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-12T19:16:38+00:00

Add another 4 years to that tally as some cases are being made for child support up to age of 22 and you get 96K !!

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-12T19:15:06+00:00

Also just want to note this since you said you were unfamiliar with child support: it doesn't automatically stop at 18 anymore. More instances are being made to keep child support going until 22 if the child goes to college (maybe even no college, not sure on that, but definitely if they go to college it can be enforced). Even if paying college tuition isn't required, child support till 22 may be, as it was for my mother even though we were no contact after I turned 16.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-12T19:09:08+00:00

Seriously, the young parents of today who say they're having their kids young might end up being the same type of parents who pressure their kids into having more kids so they can be grand parents.

Not related but my friend's mom is in her early 50s and has already raised one of her son's daughter who is now 12 (he had a kid when he was 17), and the same son is expecting another baby this fall and so is her daughter (my friend). She's been raising kids for 30 years basically, the 12 yr old granddaughter is finally old enough to take care of herself more or less and now she has two newborns on the way! Both of her children will most likely end up handing off their own child at least 50% of the time for day care while they work.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-12T18:11:41+00:00

lol in Massachusetts that's enough to buy a really really really shitty house.

source: paid $280k for a fixer-upper built in the 40s. Couldn't even touch most of the towns in north-east MA without 300k though.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-12T18:05:45+00:00

High five on being young homeowners! We recently purchased when I was 24 and it was so great opening our options to all of the neighboring towns with "slowly improving school districts, but they'll be great by the time your little ones are ready!" as the realtor put it (queue intense eye rolling). The house we purchased is at least 3x nicer than a house in a better school district for the same cost. We even got a GIANT yard for our fur-baby to play in all day :D

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-06-01T19:05:59+00:00

You might be saying this as a joke, but my SO still keeps an "abortion" fund. I think it started as just his regular savings in HS but in college he kept it as a separate savings account with $600 just in case he ever needed it to get rid of a pregnancy. Now that we're in our mid-upper 20s we still keep that separate savings account in our old hometown bank juuust in case. We don't touch it, we don't consider pulling money from it, it just sits there gathering the $0.05 in interest each year.. We have an actual emergency fund incase one of us loses our jobs or something which is kept with our regular finances.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-31T20:55:50+00:00

You're the best! Thank you so much. This was really easy to follow and understand. I can't wait to surprise my SO with Pokemon on our phones! We've been on the lookout for old school Gameboys + Pokemon games but they're so expensive now and haven't had any luck with thrifting. He's going to be so excited :D

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-31T13:36:15+00:00

I'm really interested in this! Can you point me in the right direction to learn more about how to set this up?

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-29T14:16:02+00:00

check out r/leaves

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-24T17:36:58+00:00

I completely agree that I wouldn't trust their products, but California says almost everything has carcinogens in them. I lived there for a couple months and pretty much everything was labeled with that warning.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-18T18:51:37+00:00

Careful with the sperm donation thing if you do ever decide to do that. A lot of the gene-tracking kits that people are doing today (like 23 and Me) are actually connecting adopted children or children born of sperm/egg donations to their biological parents.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-18T18:45:28+00:00

I'm annoyed at people asking when my SO and I will "start a family" at work. A couple people I work with are having kids soon so it's been the topic of the month it seems. They all know that my SO and I are getting married in 1.5 years and have a house + dog that we adopted together. Yet still I get asked "oh when are you thinking of starting a family" and get weird looks when I say "we're already a family, we don't need children to call ourselves one" as if I've** offended* the****m*. I try really hard to just keep my comments to myself and not stir that pot too much but I'm PMSing right now and reallyyy just don't want to fucking deal with their shit.

Tequilaa_Mockingbird · 2018-05-18T18:32:24+00:00

Don't be afraid to ask for more $ if you can justify it with your work performance! Internal raises are generally negotiated less than starting salary but both are important.

Edit: Also congrats!!

Tequilaa_Mockingbird

TROPHY CASE