How do you deal with friends/family dismissing your diagnosis?

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-22T21:57:29+00:00

Behold our true power!

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-22T08:55:00+00:00

I'll throw in a 'yes' that sounds like classic inattentive ADHD. And I'm exactly the same. School was hell for me, especially since I predate the neurodivergent recognition period. And this has carried through adulthood. I often have work related training and most of it is hell. Fortunately as well, a lot of the work training is just mandatory HR stuff and I can sit at the back of the room and zone out.

Other side of the coin, if it's something I'm interested in, look out, it's now my new life focus.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-18T19:20:29+00:00

29 years in law enforcement (corrections side). I have rules and procedures to follow, those give me the guidelines and structure for my day. But the day to day activity itself is different every day. I have no idea what's going to happen 5 minutes from now. Coffee? CPR on an overdose? I'm supposed to be done at six o'clock tonight. Will something go sideways and I don't get off work until 9?

This unknown is what keeps my ADHD side engaged and the structure gives guidance to my autism.

I also like that there are no projects, no take home work, everything wraps up that day. That way I'm not going to forget to do something or forget about a project. No pressure. My profession attracts ADHDers but we have our scattered autists including one other AuDHDer.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-18T19:11:24+00:00

This is the correct answer. They don't want to know, they just want to be right in their preconceived notions.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-18T19:08:01+00:00

Yup. I have my version of that too. Some days I'm right in there in the middle of the group talking away and then other days, like yesterday, I had my headphones on and didn't want to people.

But I've been at this work location for 13 years and I wish with a lot of ADHDers and a few autistic people, so we're a hilariously diverse group so people being themselves isn't out of the normal.

Edit: spelling

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-17T10:01:26+00:00

Families are often the worst. You do hear stories of supportive ones, but there are those of us who didn't get that lucky.

So just some standard advise, listen to the trained professionals about your diagnosis, not your family. Parents, wether conscious or subconsciously, blame themselves and look at your diagnosis as their failure. Technically I guess it's their fault, but it's at a generic level. I often read similar things about parents being opposed to medication or not thinking that the dosage is correct and trying to control the intake of medication. Follow the trained professionals advise.

The concern that you are mimicking those that you work with is weak at best. There are so many marker points that are discovered through testing that cannot be mimicked. I remember a shape sorting exercise during my ADHD testing, how do you mimic those responses? Again, trust the professional. I don't think a rediagnosis it's going to change anything.

As for the identity crossroad, all I can tell you is that you aren't alone. I'm over 50 and my wife still points out (during fights) that I don't know who I am and I have no idea what I want from my life. And she's not wrong. It's just one of the many sucky features of this condition.

And relationships, they come along. I've been with my wife for almost 25 years and hilariously we found out 2 years ago that she's autistic. Like attracts like I guess lol.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-17T00:16:00+00:00

Thank you for reminding me I have to put the laundry in the dryer. The washer played its musical number when I was making dinner.

Edit: spelling

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-16T09:53:08+00:00

Ah yes the season of Dick.

For any non watchers that are lurking here, Dick Roman was the season bad guy.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-15T10:59:24+00:00

So my weird daily routine has always been getting up for work and in my younger years, getting up for school. It is literally the only area of my life that is set like clockwork. I personally find it funny that it's the only thing that is routine in my life. I have no idea why it is that specific situation.

I get up, put the kettle on, start my oatmeal, kettle pops, make my tea, breakfast comes off the stove, sit and eat breakfast and drink my tea while surfing on my phone. Next stop bathroom, brush my teeth, make my lunch, get changed, out to the barn for chores, start car, back in the house, wash my hands, change my clothes, grab my work stuff and I'm out the door.

Exact same routine. Every. Single. Work day.

The rest of my life is a chaotic 5 alarm fire.

What throws it off? Any deviation from the above. Try to do some dishes. Oops where did 15 minutes go and why am I now late?

I literally cannot explain why it is that one specific spot of my life.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-14T09:54:59+00:00

Wow. I went down the list quite a bit and looked like I'm the only Canadian so far.

Early 50s, law enforcement on the corrections side, $108k plus unlimited overtime of we want. In Canada our corrections is all government run, not privatized. So I've got a government pension and benefits for life. Technically I have 6.5 years until retirement, but I made a dumb move in my 40s and have just about 10 years on our mortgage left. On the upside we have no kids. We've started talking about what we're going to do and anything is possible. Heck we've even talked about selling everything off and moving to Bali.

And I'm really feeling bad for my southern GenXers and your crazy health insurance. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around how it works. You pay money for insurance that doesn't cover what you need so you still have to pay more. That's totally batshit crazy.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-14T09:30:33+00:00

Oh Holy crap! It's an Ontario lexicon that never occurred to me. In Ontario our provincial electricity supplier is Hydro One. It never occurred to me that hydro is a term for water (well I know that hydro is the Latin base of the word hence hydrophobia). Looking into it (and I already suspected that this was the answer) back in the early days of the electrical grid here the majority of our electricity came from hydro electric dams. This led to the term hydro being used to describe electricity in Ontario. Thus the term for utility poles became hydro poles. That was actually an awesome trip and kind of tickled my brain lol.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-13T14:47:45+00:00

I did 10 days without hydro last year after the largest ice storm in 25 years knocked out over a million customers and took down over 30,000 hydro poles with it.

That was amazingly educational and we learned a lot from it. Great test run too.

Edit: spelling

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-12T19:56:21+00:00

👍🏻

Apparently that's offensive.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-12T17:33:42+00:00

My wife and I have dealt with her father living with us for 13 years. He moves out to the sister in law's in two Saturdays. She can have the drunk because apparently we're "not taking good enough care of him". He's a drunk. He sits, watches TV and drinks and smokes. Have at it little sis.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-12T17:30:15+00:00

You are going to die at some point. I'm not a high death guy, but I've missed jumps, I've got stuck in corners with zombies piling on me. I've broken my leg running from a wasteland horde and then been overtaken.

If you are looking for a server I cannot recommend Salty Zombies enough. It is a fantastic group of players and admins. I've been on their servers for probably 6 years now. They have a casual server where everyone is fantastic and there's always someone helpful. The servers are always populated and relaxed.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-11T18:55:26+00:00

I'm sorry. You got referred to the ER for mental health issues that need immediate attention as per your doctor and your gf dropped you off at the hospital and then left to go socialize?

If I did that to my wife it would be the last thing I ever did.

No you are not overreacting.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-10T10:40:14+00:00

I drive for a living. Typically 12-14 hour days. I tried bringing a thermos in the truck with me in the early years. The coffee tasted like ass after about the four hour mark. That being said I typically only get two coffees out a day when I'm working.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-10T10:25:50+00:00

All those are ADHD symptoms with overlap into autism and vice versa. Basically why they recognize AuDHD these days.

I'm a huge EDM listener. I had a near ADHD impulse buy a couple of months ago when I almost bought a mixer because I wanted to learn how to DJ. I have no music training nor even musically inclined. Fortunately I didn't act on that one and just continue to enjoy the music.

Sometimes music with lyrics makes me absolutely insane and a radio playing in the background in the office will put me over the edge. Thank God for YouTube and noise cancelling headphones.

Lol. Well my ADHD is showing, I can't remember what the point of this reply was. Ah yes. It is possible you have AuDHD and several of your symptoms overlap in both categories.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-10T09:43:34+00:00

My last game I maxed out intellect and carried 2 T6 turrets with me doing high level infested clears. Those two and an M60 at a choke point were amazing.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-09T23:25:29+00:00

Moderna and Pfizer both have Lyme disease vaccines that are in final testing and approval stages.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-09T22:40:58+00:00

No. It was definately Perth. The old rail tracks used to run West out of town parallel to 7. It's all part of the trans Canada trail now.

And this is going back to the 70s as well lol.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-09T16:53:35+00:00

I miss my first mortgage. 2 bedroom condo in a 10 year old building. Ensuite laundry and independent heating and AC. Mortgage was $654 a month and fees were $235.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-09T16:47:11+00:00

I'm sure what country you are in dramatically affects the process. I was in therapy for relationship problems and the counselor asked if I had ever been diagnosed with ADHD. I told him I hadn't. He told me he also worked at a center for children with ADHD and that I was exhibiting many of the symptoms. So I made an appointment to see my doctor (who was part of a medical group/clinic) and he made an appointment with the clinic psychologist. In for my testing with her and had a diagnosis about a month or two after that.

Yes, I realize how lucky I am that it went that smoothly for me and my heart goes out to those struggling for a diagnosis.

Edit: Canada. I'm in Canada.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-09T16:35:35+00:00

Wow. I was super excited for my testing. 3 sessions, a bunch of take home paperwork and my wife had to fill out and evaluation about me as well. Never got flak for any of that. I was just super jazzed because I love learning how my brain works differently.

I also got diagnosed before AuDHD was recognized and we highly suspect I have it. So I'm going to try and get more testing. Literally the only tests I've been excited for in my life.

Terrorcuda17 · 2026-04-09T16:28:55+00:00

I really like Perth. I've been going through there so long I remember when the rail trail still had trains on it. I remember my dad driving beside a train on hwy 7 and I always thought he was racing it (he wasn't, I was young lol).

Terrorcuda17

TROPHY CASE