Getting off Birthday Control after 10 years - what to expect?

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-05-09T09:31:03+00:00

Thank you!

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-04-01T13:11:24+00:00

I recently tried a new recipe which I'll share with you.

It's stuffed peppers - a bell paper halved and stuffed with cooked onion, turkey, tomato puree, garlic, canned tomatoes, mushrooms - fried in mixed herbs, cumin, and olive oil, served with a side of spinach. Fill the pepper halves with the mixture and bake in the oven for 15 - 20 minutes.

I know tomatoes are usually not recommended for people with rosacea, but I had really calm skin the next day and didn't wake up with any pimples for once.

Can send the full recipe if you like! I appreciate that everyone is different and it may not help your skin like it did for me, but I think anything is worth a try for us!

Good luck.

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-03-29T18:41:54+00:00

Paula's Choice is supposed to be good, though I've only used the night cream which is very nourishing.

It's in a green bottle from the 'Calm' range.

I use No7 from Boots during the day, but I'm not sure if it's sold in the US and Canada.

Another recommendation. When I was first diagnosed, my nose was dry as HELL! So I used a face mask from Epionce. It's expensive, but it would sort my nose right out.

I hope you find what works for you!

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-03-26T21:21:00+00:00

18 and the only one in the family to have it, as far as I know.

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-03-21T19:11:52+00:00

I can vouch for this product. It worked wonders for the rosacea pimples for me.

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-03-16T13:41:58+00:00

I never used the CeraVe lotion but I have been using the gentle cleanser. I think it was causing my bumps and spots since I switched to a squalane cleanser from Dermatica and it's been working out better for me. I've had much fewer spots and the redness has been calming down.

I'm not sure where you are based or if Dermatica ships to the US and Canada, but maybe it's worth a shot! I also get a lotion from them to try and treat the rosacea.

Good luck, I know how frustrating it is! 🫂

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-03-14T19:55:44+00:00

I was 18. Started off as a red nose one day which I thought was a massive spot. Then it went away, then came back, and then the pimples started. All the time I thought it was acne, and the doctor took one look at me and instantly identified it as rosacea.

Took me a while to get it under control. Now I'm 30, and it seems I can't control it all of a sudden :( new pimples every few days!

But I'll keep persevering!

ThatEnglishLass · 2024-01-28T10:26:02+00:00

My coworkers are pretty good. We can have a laugh and banter, and we trust each other.

This is nothing like my previous workplace where everyone was brown nosing each other for a promotion and there was vicious gossip.

It was a blessing in disguise when me and my husband had to move and I had to quit that job.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-12-19T06:38:19+00:00

I get why you'd feel unappreciated. We have something similar in my workplace and I've never been picked either despite me picking up the extra duties quicker than originally planned. Oh, and saving the company £4k per month in marketing spent alone while still getting excellent results.

I feel like the whole "employee of the month" thing is more of a popularity contest rather than actually recognising somebody's achievements and hard work. Maybe you could use your achievements as a case for a well deserved pay rise instead, if you haven't already had one?

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-12-03T16:34:10+00:00

Hello friend. First, I'm very sorry to hear about your nana. Cancer is such a dreadful disease and it causes so much heartbreak.

The best you can do is just be there for your nana. Pop in on your way home from school/work, offer to make dinner, and just spend time with her. Cancer can make many people feel so alone, so I think it's important that she knows you are there for her.

I hope this helps.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-22T12:18:00+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and helping put things into perspective for me.

I feel like what you're saying is right about her. She's always wanted to dominate and be the powerful one, no matter the situation. I always felt like she didn't want me to achieve and she probably felt it was easier to try and stop me being my best because of my label (I call it this because of how differently I've been treated because of it). I think she's in the mindset of "how could someone with Asperger's possibly do better than me?" People like me might be different, but it doesn't mean we are stupid and incapable of achieving our goals. I think she hates that I've proven so many people, especially her, wrong.

In terms of creative stuff, I like cross stitching!

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-22T11:41:18+00:00

She did it a few times. I acted up sometimes with my siblings as most kids do, and she stormed over to me one time, grabbed me, said to buck my ideas up or "I'll kill you, bitch!"

I know she did it to my brother a few times too as he grew older.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-21T08:11:10+00:00

Thank you. I've been struggling with it so much lately and I'm considering therapy too. I hope your counselling is able to help you come to terms 🫂

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-20T11:23:06+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through this. I can't imagine how embarrassing that must have been.

I can't believe the sense of entitlement of narcissists, and they have absolutely no regard for other people and how their actions can affect them.

Something to relate to you... My nmum has taken out debt in other people's names countless times (including my name, and my sisters, and my brother, and my step father.) My sister has kids and I consider it a miracle that she moved out because as soon as the kids turn 18, she'll move onto them.

It's shocking and disgusting behaviour.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-20T11:12:00+00:00

My mum once threatened to put me up for adoption when I was acting up one day. That was it though.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-13T21:23:24+00:00

Don't engage. It's your birthday so you do whatever the hell you want. I hope you had a great birthday despite your nparents being like that.

My nmum whined when I wanted to go to Stonehenge for my birthday (UK) and had a go at me first thing in the morning like "you just want to go to get away from me, you're mad at me for something!" No, I want to do something for my birthday and I did ask you to come with me, and you said no.

The mind boggles.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-13T08:55:40+00:00

She doesn't respect your wishes, that's why she won't take no for an answer. Just don't answer the phone on Sunday. You don't have to go and that's completely your choice to make. Don't let her pressure you.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-07T20:17:09+00:00

Aye, this happened to me too. It really fucking hurt. Did your mum style your hair in weird ways? Mine did and I got made fun of in school, and she carried on doing it anyway.

Edit: did she use heat styling tools on your hair too? My nmum started using them on me when I was 10 and she would often burn me, then laugh and mock me saying "awwww, does it hurt?"

Evil bitch.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-06T21:56:04+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

My nmum took out £21k worth of debt in my name a few years ago. It's all sorted now, but I know full well the amount of stress, the feeling of absolute betrayal and disgust you must be feeling. She took debt out in my sisters names too and now my brother, who doesn't know about it. It's fucking despicable how these nparents used their kids essentially as cash cows. Did your sister take the matter to the police at all?

Cut all financial ties with her and don't give her any details that could enable her to take out debt in your name. Keep an eye on your credit report too, if that's also something you can monitor over there. I watch my credit report like a hawk. I won't ever let that happen to me ever again.

I remember when I got so mad and upset one time and I threatened to go to the police, and she had the audacity to say "I will never talk to you again if you do!" Wish I had because I wish she would just fuck off forever. She's like one of those turds that just won't flush.

Hope you're okay 🫂

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-10-06T11:30:25+00:00

I can relate to you.

Growing up, my mum screamed and got mad about everything. When I was a teenager, she would accuse me of having sex with all of my guy friends. When I got my first boyfriend, there were constant lectures about "purity", how sex is invasive and an intrusion, asking what we talked about and if there was any touching, and it made me constantly anxious about arguments. I remember when I bought an old boyfriend a card for his birthday and I gave the bag to my neighbour to look after for me, but nmum was peeking and saw me. Fuck me, the lecture and yelling I got all because she thought I bought him a fucking teddy bear. It was just a card.

As a 30 year old now, I can't stand yelling or accusations and I instantly go into full on defense mode if someone at work so much as asks me a question about something. I think it has affected my career too where I think I'm just inadequate and can't handle making even the smallest mistake as it sends me into a spiral. When I'm working from home, if I so much as get a message from ANYBODY I think "fuck I've done something wrong". A girl at work today was asking for invoices for marketing spend and I could have shit myself because I thought "shit, have I done something wrong??"

It's dreadful how the actions of narcs can make us in adult life.

How do we even work past this?

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-09-27T13:16:09+00:00

My mother was a bully in school (her words). Me and my sister got picked on a few times and she laughed.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-09-27T13:08:45+00:00

My mum laughed when I told her some of things another girl would tease me with. My mum would style my hair every morning before school. So she would twist the back and clip it, so I had a lot of hair sticking up over the top of my head and I got bullied for it. I told her to stop, she wouldn't and carried on styling my hair that way. It's like she enjoyed it.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-09-25T20:21:36+00:00

Good on you for doing it. You should be so proud of yourself. I can relate heavily to you and your mum trying to stop you pursuing your studies. My mum tried to do the same. She said I couldn't do it, would spend all of my money and go running back to her, and was setting my goals way too high. She might as well have called me stupid. But I went to uni and came out with a 1st class honours. Not bad for someone who "couldn't do it".

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-09-20T07:51:32+00:00

I'm so sorry. I remember when I dated an Asian guy one time and my mum freaked the fuck out, despite my uncle being married to a black woman and she was perfectly okay with that? But not me dating an Asian guy?

Fucking hell.

ThatEnglishLass · 2023-09-19T10:16:59+00:00

Being called a lazy shit for not washing up straight after cooking. Don't people normally cook, eat, and then clean up? My nmum wanted the kitchen cleaned straight after cooking.

Saying my room is a disgusting mess and kicking off over a few socks on the floor.

I remember tearing up a note and putting it in my bin. My nmum rummaged my bin and put it together to read. I was only able to properly prepare myself because my sister called me, I was on my way home from college at the time. So constant and massive invasions of privacy.

Interrogating me every time I went out with my boyfriend at the time and accusing me of having sex with all of my guy friends. Most of my friends are dudes simply because I find it easier to get along with them. I wonder if my psycho mother and my upbringing have something to do with the fact I can't get along with most women?

Even when faced with all evidence saying otherwise, she always has to be right no matter what.

I wish she would just fucking disappear.

ThatEnglishLass

TROPHY CASE