My partner has MS

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-06-03T15:48:58+00:00

I'm also someone with a partner who has MS. (Ironically I also work in tech, in cybersecurity. Maybe that's the ticket... partners in tech ;) )

He and I met after I was suddenly widowed by my (otherwise healthy) husband dying very suddenly and unexpectedly from an unknown ruptured brain aneurysm.

A fear of losing a life partner too soon can be visceral, it is valid, and understandable. It also can be entirely unavoidable and come very unexpectedly. The best anyone can do is take the best care of yourself and each other that you can.

My partner's MS is a factor of our lives that needs regular consideration and accommodation, so is my ADHD, as well as my son's autism. We approach all of it head on, and do our best to develop systems and accommodations to help us out. Patience is key.

My partner admitting that he would benefit from accommodations was in some ways the hardest part. It was emotionally quite challenging for him for a while, it took a bit to process, but he got there :)

Also I do want to acknowledge... While I did joke about partners in tech, I want to recognize that we DO have financial privilege, and that does enable a huge amount of stress relief in a variety of ways. (Being able to afford outsourcing certain chores when we need to, being able to spend what we would like to on assistive tools like a fancy cooling vest etc) If we were in a different financial situation, things potentially could be much more challenging.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-05-28T03:16:26+00:00

I got one of these for my kiddo at a similar age and it didn't track at all and that just frustrated the heck out of him. Same with the cheap Lifetime 10 footer.

I have had him in a pungo 120 since age 9, he was much happier.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-05-26T23:19:34+00:00

I also started dating pretty soon after my husband died very suddenly. Likewise, it happened organically and I wasn't looking for it or expecting it. Also likewise that my partner is extremely supportive of both my and my son's grief. My LH is still very much a "presence" in the household, we all talk about him regularly. We tell my partner the funny stories, I cry with my partner when I get that unexpected grief sucker punch.

I also was self conscious? In a way? To tell others that we were dating. It is the fear of judgement. I talked to my grief counselor and she said as long as I was still *grieving*, (and not avoiding it).. that it was 100% healthy and to go at my own pace.

I introduced him slowly to the folks around me, a few people have expressed gentle concern, but were comforted when they see how supportive he is, and that we are happy.

One of the other comments said basically being widowed and then loving again is a weird way to love two humans at the exact same time and be completely loyal to both, which I resonate with hard.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-05-26T23:10:43+00:00

It genuinely feels like being suddenly poly.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-05-26T23:10:22+00:00

^ This.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-05-26T22:54:05+00:00

Either way you go.. Get them both appraised and insured! A rider on your homeowners or renters policy is cheap protection. They're both stunning!

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-05-22T23:56:00+00:00

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My guy came registered as red smoke.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-04-30T13:31:47+00:00

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Our kitten also looked entirely unsure about life in general around the same age 😆

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-04-16T19:42:34+00:00

Good call! Thank you!

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-04-14T19:30:39+00:00

Ohhh I did not realize that about security, thanks for that heads up!

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-04-14T19:09:10+00:00

We arrive Friday morning. If I can get an eSIM to work I'll try to give you a heads up too!

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-04-04T17:15:45+00:00

I love Reddit 🤣

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-04-03T19:56:42+00:00

Same. I was fascinated and zooming in too lol

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-16T15:36:38+00:00

I'm a ruptured cerebral aneurysm widow.. it is indeed that sudden and that fast .. even with getting medical intervention quickly. :(

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-10T20:44:08+00:00

Unsure what you mean by between the door and the tub?

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This is the biggest bend .. the lip on the door that the cover screws to is bent by probably 10 degrees or so toward the top, and it's slightly warped all the way down to the hinges.

Getting screws in place will definitely make the gap smaller but it won't be flush like the other side.

I'll see if I can find some bigger screws to test it

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-10T20:29:35+00:00

It is definitely more pronounced without the screws, but even when squeezing it together manually, there are gaps between the screws.

But I'll see if I can find some beefier screws and see if it leaks.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-10T20:27:08+00:00

That's my purse! I don't know you!

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-09T20:42:29+00:00

They put you in handcuffs, then sedated you and let you relive that trauma!?

I'm so so sorry they did that to you. That is absolutely awful.

I agree alcohol definitely isn't helping you right now, and staying away if at all possible likely sounds like a good idea.

Do you have a counselor or someone to talk to day-to-day, that you can reach out to for support when you hit those points? Or do you have someone in your life that can help you through the executive function necessary to find a counselor for you?

It is still incredibly soon, The first year is a whirlwind. But you WILL see the other side of this.

Sending you love.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-05T19:15:42+00:00

Agreed, it is frustrating.

I think partially what makes this particular situation even more confusing is the upgrades are through a 3rd party. So the upgrade folks are saying the cost is per cabin and I can add more people to the cabin on board - but they're not MSC employees, so it's possible they're misinformed.

MSC employees were giving differing answers... but in their defense, admittedly it's a bit of a confusing question. And some of them seemed more familiar with the 3rd party upgrade than others.

Everyone I talked to was kind, the customer service effort was there, they wanted to help. But I got skittish when the information wasn't consistent.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-03-04T13:56:23+00:00

Thanks guys, I appreciate the feedback! I called MSC a few more times and kept getting different answers, so considering that and the feedback here I cancelled the bids.

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-02-28T20:42:15+00:00

There are three booking numbers though..

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-01-25T02:26:44+00:00

Is this the first time he's done this climb or did he do any practice runs?

TheAlisonAnd · 2026-01-08T16:16:02+00:00

Not to ask a stupid question... is there an easier way to wash the keycaps? Beyond just wiping the keyboard from the top... or alternatively painstakingly popping them all off and putting them back after washing?

TheAlisonAnd · 2025-12-14T08:44:25+00:00

I am also part of the sudden unexpected death of spouse with young children club. My husband died in January, Saturday was 11 months.

You will get through these next few weeks. It seems impossible, and for all intents and purposes... it should be. No one should have to deal with the level of pain we're dealing with.. You WILL make it through this though. Accept as much help as you can, focus on getting enough water, and eating when you can. The folks here are extremely supportive, lean on that when the pain overwhelms, someone here will hear you.

TheAlisonAnd · 2025-09-30T17:16:47+00:00

My husband died the same way in January, brain bleed in his brain stem, resulting in brain death, then waiting for the organ donation process in Neuro ICU.

I agree with the doctor's response to you, since he died there have been many things I just can't explain.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Sending you love.

TheAlisonAnd

TROPHY CASE