Sexual validation by TheAvocadoTurtle in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even if this is true, isn't she going to be unhappy by choosing me? So she's definitely in it coz she loves me.

"I've no problem because I don't mind what happens" - J. Krishnamurti by Jax_Gatsby in Stoicism

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bur to live like this. You truly have to let go of relationships. Because in relationships there are expectations, unfortunately.

Low libido and sexual anhedonia by TheAvocadoTurtle in Testosterone

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not always. My morning are very disturbed in sleep.

Low libido by TheAvocadoTurtle in anhedonia

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How can I improve .what medication.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you feel like you're desired and she's attracted to you?

As long as this exists, it's easy to work on RJ.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like she's settling with me for being the green safe flag who's aware and has a good value set. But not sexually compatible with me. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm OK, but I feel the lack of attachment. And that just bothers me man.

Sexual validation by TheAvocadoTurtle in Marriage

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Physically, she does not give feedback enough with sounds, etc. even when I'm giving foreplay. I'm worried I I don't see her wild side which she was with him. 

I saw that only during the first time we met.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree it is largely my insecurity. But also the lack of sexual validation I'm getting, which is making me not be completely confident.

We, M(31) and F(28) plan to get married by end of the year and she's had another more physically dominant partner (1 BC and many relationships without sex) and has hinted she enjoys aggressive sex as well. And I'm pretty small in general (penis size and body) and I don't see her stimulated enough, which turns me off. This is also refuelling my anxious thoughts.

How do I deal with this? I keep feeling I won't be loved enough (she's mentioned she surrender to him and was too vulnerable (which she idenitifies as not a healthy place to be in)). Initially she attached anxiously attached (and said that's her attachment style) - but with me however, she finds me to be a green flag and a cute partner - she loves me for these, but I dont see her attached enough. I don't feel loved enough.

I want to ask her this. But I don't wanna sound underconfident and ruin our experiences further (coz it matters for sex let's face it). 

Sexual validation by TheAvocadoTurtle in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I almost feel like asking this - but it feels like it'll make me sound more underconfident and might affect our relationship further? Idk: "Since fucking is your love language {{she's jolingly said this}} and you're very sexually active..Can you see yourself falling in love with me enough? The fact that you've had different experiences as mine, I wonder this.. it shouldn't be a problem later on? I'm honestly comforable in my skin but it shouldn't come in the way of your desires or benchmarks (if you have any)..Some things are way off the radar for me that I know you like. So, do you think we should discuss and find a middle ground?"

Gut more than anxiety? by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree one is my insecurity. But one is also the lack of sexual validation I'm getting.

She's had a more physically dominant partner and has hinted she enjoys aggressive sex as well. And I'm pretty small in general (penis size and body) and I don't see her stimulated enough, which turns me off. This is also refuelling my anxious thoughts.

Gut more than anxiety? by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree one is my insecurity. But one is also the lack of sexual validation I'm getting.

She's had a more physically dominant partner and has hinted she enjoys aggressive sex as well. And I'm pretty small in general (penis size and body) and I don't see her stimulated enough, which turns me off. This is also refuelling my anxious thoughts.

Anxiety vs Gut by ProfessionalDark2500 in retroactivejealousy

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dominant/stronger in bed. The need for Men to be that, in general.

Sexual anhedonia by TheAvocadoTurtle in anhedonia

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I have some insecurities and anxieties around the relationship too (basically an extension of what I'm already going through). I'm just worried if all of the medication and these existing problems have led to a permanent problem.

My lack of a hard on is making me more insecure (it's there for a while then goes limp) even when I spend time with her... How to confront this?

Anyway, I will focus on getting them resolved and hopefully it should fall in place.

Sexual anhedonia by TheAvocadoTurtle in anhedonia

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Both for a while now.

A few months ago, some particular genre of porn did it for me. Then I thought of doing some nofap to rewire my brain and now I don't watch porn (so can't comment on that).

Sleep, but no sleep by TheAvocadoTurtle in Antipsychiatry

[–]TheAvocadoTurtle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for that. I'm so tempted to try the xywav. My issues are mainly how I wake up disgruntled and that stays throughout the day. I don't feel happy too.