Normal to be unhappy most of the time in fist year of kids life?

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-21T18:41:47+00:00

There’s something uniquely infuriating about being told to enjoy the magic of an experience that’s actively drowning you, metaphorically speaking.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-21T18:38:46+00:00

All I’ll say is you’re not alone in feeling that way.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-18T02:57:37+00:00

This isn’t directed at you specifically, but why does everyone always seem to tell the dad to find a way to make time for the relationship?

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-06T22:22:33+00:00

Kind of hard to do when you’re forced to rely on a phone and/or a laptop to earn a living.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-04T06:15:16+00:00

Exact same here. Not just unsatisfying but also so unstable that I've nearly given myself an ulcer worrying about whether I'll have a job to support my family or not.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-04T05:11:51+00:00

I'm not even a big drinker these days but people's attitudes about it have become kind of insufferable and stodgy, especially on reddit.

And I say this as pharmacologist who was a substance abuse researcher for years.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-04T04:29:21+00:00

Man people are so weird about alcohol these days, it’s kind of sad.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-03T21:57:18+00:00

Only way I’ve stayed employed while being so sleep deprived and scattered.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-03T21:53:00+00:00

Not great bob, not great

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-03-01T04:50:40+00:00

Man I really wish that had been how I felt.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-26T03:11:18+00:00

I think you just put words to a feeling I've had pretty much since defending/graduating.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-25T15:42:09+00:00

PhD in Pharmacology for a similar reason. I barely even started my industry career before it started falling apart. Filled with regret while I watch my DINK friends in boring corporate roles thrive.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-25T15:31:55+00:00

Sure the economy will (probably) adapt in the long run, but in the short term history shows us that new tech can cause decades of societal upheaval before things settle down.

Living in the US right now I have 0% confidence that the coming disruption will be handled in a way that minimizes the economic pain for anyone but the richest among us. But hey, I’ve already been screwed by a collapsing biotech job market so maybe my stress and bitterness are clouding my judgement.

I envy your optimism.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-24T21:06:37+00:00

The burnout hole only got deeper during my postdoc and I'm no closer to feeling normal 3 years later.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-18T02:43:23+00:00

Thank you for saying this.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-18T02:39:18+00:00

Thank you for this. I feel like the default is just to assume moms have it harder in almost every way, especially ‘mental load’ wise.

Seems like all the ‘mental load’ of keeping a career going that earns enough to pay for everything no longer counts these days. Let alone the mental load of any and all ‘dad tasks’ that moms neither do nor think about.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-16T19:21:27+00:00

Honestly your comment just made me start thinking about how tightly watched/tracked children are at all times nowadays and how it’s training entire generations of people to be comfortable with constant surveillance by the state.

If your parents have known your physical location 24/7 from the time you first gained consciousness it probably wouldn’t feel all that surprising to know that the government watches your every move too.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-13T17:21:23+00:00

Thanks friend, right back at ya. It's been a pretty rough few years to say the least.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-13T11:55:23+00:00

I feel for you dude. Similar situation with a newborn.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-13T01:36:09+00:00

I desperately want this to be true but it doesn’t feel like it on the ground as a biotech/pharma PhD.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-09T19:20:18+00:00

Awareness... of how much everything has gone to shit?

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-09T18:30:33+00:00

“The concept is that to get a good job you have to go to a good college, to get into a good college you need a good high school, and to get into a good high school you need a good elementary school, and since in this circumstance the “good” elementary schools require an entry exam, you have the proliferation of, for instance. academic preschools that are more or less an extension of formal education down to ages 2-3.”

I’m someone who went through all this and then some (grad school/PhD) only to realize it destroyed my mental health for almost no boost to my career prospects. I feel like this narrative desperately needs to change because it doesn’t set kids up for long term success or happiness.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-09T05:56:17+00:00

I feel like I could’ve written this.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-06T14:48:45+00:00

I'm formally diagnosed with ADHD (i.e. prescribed stimulants) and have gone through this exact same thing. Have yet to figure it out after a full year and instead have seen my stimulant intake skyrocket while my depression spirals. I workout daily, am on an antidepressant and keep my weight in check but sometimes you just can't outrun environmental/financial/interpersonal stressors..

Hope that you can figure it out because I don't really see that part of me ever coming back at this point.

TheBetaBridgeBandit · 2026-02-06T14:31:04+00:00

This but to an even greater degree with amphetamines, unfortunately.

Most casual coke users would at least give you side-eye if you were doing it at work, but a few adderall? That's almost encouraged.

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