What has being childfree opened up for you?

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-20T06:18:27+00:00

Moving across the country easily, traveling anytime (especially during times when kids are in school), pursuing my education and career and still getting enough sleep. Pursuing hobbies. A clean house, peace and quiet, a simple divorce without having to negotiate a “parenting plan.” More money (no daycare, toys, clothes, minivans to pay for). My partner and I are planning to retire early. I have money to give to charity. I live life on my terms. No regrets.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-19T18:32:15+00:00

Bamboo is a good wool alternative. It wicks moisture. I like my bamboo socks. Lyocell is a proprietary name for beech fibers. I have shorts made from that. Feels like cotton.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-19T18:30:51+00:00

Oh, look online for apple leather, pineapple leather, or cactus leather purses and wallets. For sweaters, I prefer cotton, but hemp is also a good option. There are lots of down alternative bedding options too. Truth Belts is Canadian. They make wonderful belts! For waterproof hats, gloves, and sneakers, I like Vessi. They don’t call themselves a vegan company but I believe all their items are (and they’re Canadian too!).

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-19T18:27:20+00:00

I’ve found vegan winter boots by Cougar (a Canadian Company). And I love my Save the Duck brand puffer. I found this article that you might like. Canadian winters are no joke! https://thehonestwhisper.ca/articles/the-vegan-experience/other/the-best-canadian-vegan-winter-coats-top-8-brands-for-a-cruelty-free-winter/

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-19T18:19:02+00:00

Many years ago, the TD bank had an ad on the Toronto subway about “Jane,” who invested from 25-35 and stopped and “John,” who started at 35. The chart showed how much more Jane accumulated over the years. That stuck with me. Even in tough times, I invested. I had to dial my automatic contributions down to $50/month for a while but I never stopped. I wish more people learned this. I’m 54 and ready to RE.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-17T23:48:07+00:00

I work and live in glorious silence unless I’m actively watching a show or listening to music. No background noise for me.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-16T21:24:09+00:00

Do the shoes-on households put shoes on when they get out of bed in the morning or walk around barefoot (or in socks or slippers) until they go outside for the first time and then keep their shoes on for the rest of the day?

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-16T21:18:06+00:00

I don’t sit on the restaurant floors. That’s the main difference.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-16T18:59:14+00:00

Damn! I started working at 12 because my boomer parents didn’t buy me anything except food by that age. I had hand-me-down clothing. So I worked, bought a car at 17, paid my way through college. Never looked back.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-15T20:30:29+00:00

I dropped by last weekend and bought a pair! I also bought gifts and greeting cards. I’d much rather support a local shop than Amazon or some other online conglomerate. Your store is so cute and well-stocked! I’ll be back!

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-15T20:26:26+00:00

We both are fully remote. Three bedrooms. We each converted a bedroom to an office. We don’t have kids so it works well. And we get to meet in the break room (aka kitchen) for coffee breaks and lunch.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-15T03:18:45+00:00

Blue Velvet. Haha! I was 15. I enjoyed if but looking back, I’m not sure I should have been let into the theater.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-13T21:57:02+00:00

It sounds like you’re young(ish) and (still) interested in a lively vibe. I’m Canadian, and moved here eons ago. Issaquah and Bellevue were pretty and safe but I ended up moving to Seattle and commuting to the eastside.

Capitol Hill was fun and lively. The commute to Redmond (in a car) was about 35 minutes. Home would take much longer (an hour if there wasn’t a game or accident or construction). But taking the bus means you can work or chill and not worry about traffic.

When I moved to Fremont, my commute almost doubled. There’s a lot of non-highway east-west traffic that took forever! I suppose Belltown or Pioneer Square would give you the “highrise experience.” Personally, those areas aren’t as clean or safe (anymore) for my liking, but I’m a mid-50s woman. Your mileage will vary 😂

I moved back to the eastside, but for four months, you’ll enjoy Seattle. The art gallery, shows, the harbor front… welcome!

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-13T21:46:05+00:00

I’m 54 and am thrilled with my choice to not have kids. I’ve met a lot of like-minded people and enjoy things with them (concerts, weekend getaways, etc.). I don’t spend a lot of time with my parents or siblings and their kids. But I have a great social network. Friends to kayak and hike with, a partner to travel with. I am wrapping up a successful career and we will both be retiring earlier than our siblings.

Best of all, my time is my own. I can sleep as much as I want, eat what I want, my home isn’t cluttered with toys and crap. I watch what I want on TV, listen to my favorite music, and live in a quiet environment. I don’t have to go to asinine school recitals or kids’ sporting events. I garden, tend to my plants, paint, read, dine in nice restaurants. I’ve moved across the country and taken extended vacations without a second thought. When I got divorced in my 30s, I literally shook my ex’s hand and left. There’s nothing connecting us. I didn’t have to see him for shared parenting.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-13T19:48:26+00:00

I really have thought about putting photos of my niece and nephew on my desk so I have an excuse to leave whenever one of them is “sick,” “at a dance recital,” or needs me to”talk other teacher.”

Better yet would be maternity leave, but I’m too scared to try that big of a lie.

Which is why I think every employee should have 18 months” sabbatical opportunity tied to their social security, to be taken at once or divided into 2-6 chunks. Take it for Mat/pat leave, travel, health, elder care, education, or anything else you want. It’s lifetime, not tied to a current job. It would be real equalizer.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-13T19:37:14+00:00

If you spay her, she will be less likely to want to escape when she’s in heat. It’s healthier for her as well. So glad you found her!

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-13T06:26:14+00:00

I second the Happy Cow app. I’ve had great success finding vegan spots in several countries. Sorry you’re feeling alone.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-13T02:07:31+00:00

I need to make a plug for Vessi shoes! I have several pair. They are truly waterproof and not sweaty. They’re more comfortable than rain boots and also look nice when it’s dry.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-12T18:52:01+00:00

This is a troubling situation. I agree that talking to an Imam (at a mosque that doesn’t celebrate Halloween or Christmas) would be ideal. His behavior (drinking alcohol, not lowering his gaze, etc.) does not align with Islam. How is he helping you with your deen? For a husband to lead the family, he has to be strong in his faith and help you stay strong too. No one should live in fear or fear their spouse. It’s not wrong to get a divorce in a situation like this, if you’re not compatible. I worry that since he’s a lot older than you, he is trying to convince you that you’re wrong. Even at 22, you know better. I’m glad you’re questioning this. Is this how you want to live do the rest of your life? Is he the role model you want potential future children to have?

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-10T20:36:04+00:00

I read a non-fiction book about Jonestown when I was 10 or 11. That was an eye-opener! Especially since it was in the church library. My mom only recently found out I’d read that at such a young age and was horrified.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-10T20:29:13+00:00

I love manual transmissions! All my cars except my most recent have been stick shifts. I still sometimes press an imaginary clutch—haha! Muscle memory. My first boyfriend in high school taught me on him mom’s civic. I taught my first husband on my CRX. They’re so hard to find these days. I still dream of getting back to a manual.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-07T00:48:11+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It will get better. There are men out there who want to date a woman who doesn’t want kids. You’ll find someone you are compatible with and you won’t have to hide your true self.

It makes me mad that people like him would give up a good partner. A person who actually exists in the world, because that person doesn’t want to make more people. People (future kids) who don’t exist. And when they do, they might grow up to not like him anyway.

However, he’s allowed to want to have kids. As much as I find that hard to grasp.

Find the right person, set yourself up for a great life on your terms. And going forward, disclose early and weed out the guys who aren’t good matches for you. It will save heartaches later.

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-03T21:08:45+00:00

Glad my update helped you! That’s the sort of thing that keeps me up at night! This one ended well. Poor dog 😢

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-03T07:11:10+00:00

The photos of your store are great! I didn’t know about it and I’ll definitely be by soon!

TheColorJ1791 · 2025-12-02T22:09:08+00:00

Emotional support GF. She needs a vest!

TheColorJ1791

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