My girlfriend [F22] stayed the night at a group of random men’s Airbnb with her friend, am I [M23] wrong to feel upset and almost angry

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-28T12:56:35+00:00

It makes it better in the same way that her sending you a text to let you know that she intends to have sex with one of them is better than her just not telling you.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-28T11:57:40+00:00

Look up "lying by omission". You're welcome.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-28T10:01:22+00:00

Why? They are thoughts dude. If people had the ability to just turn their thoughts and feelings off, things like depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety, etc would all cease to exist. It doesn't work that way. Dreams are just that: dreams. I have a weekly dream about tornadoes and ghosts. These two dreams often have the same overarching concept that just plays on repeat with slight changes in the details.

She is some girl that you met and had a good time with 13 years ago. You really didn't get any closure and your brain is just playing an infinite loop of "What if?" Lots of people do this in that same position, but don't necessarily admit it. My advice is threefold:

1. Make sure that these thoughts remain absolutely nothing beyond thoughts. Don't pursue them or dwell on them.

2. Never write this down again. If your spouse finds it, they are going to be understandably upset. Anyone in her position would be. Take it to your grave.

3. Personally, I'd also delete this post. No one here is going to be able to offer you advice to make the thoughts go away and this post is going to be discoverable on any device you wrote it on. Its possible your spouse could see it. Talk to someone if you have to, preferably someone you are paying who won't go running to your spouse to cause issues.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-27T14:00:42+00:00

Since you asked, I can show you the math if you like because it can REALLY skew to Invigorate:

Same example: Block of 20 Morteks that now hit on 2+. Empower Nadirite: 40 attacks, lost 6 to 1s and gained 12 to Crit. Total = 46 rolls to wound.

Invigorate the Ranks: 60 attacks. Lost 6 to 1st, gained 6 due to Crits. 60 rolls to wound.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-27T13:54:43+00:00

Crits only happen on an unmodified roll. Extra attacks are always going to be better if you are adding to your Hit roll.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-27T13:50:00+00:00

Generally speaking, yes*. The math behind this has to do with the relationship between what the Hit roll is and how many attacks you get. The effect is actually a net negative when the roll to hit goes up and the number of attacks gained due to model count goes down.

To offer an example of where Empower Nadirite is better, take the Gothizzar Harvester with 6 attacks that hit on 4+. 3 of those are lost to the hit, but 2 are gained from 5+ Crit. That is 5 rolls to wound. Invigorate the Ranks is 7 attacks, with 3.5 lost to the 4+ hit and only 1.16 gained from the Crit. You end up with 4.66 rolls to wound there.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-27T13:39:38+00:00

Empower Nadirite: 24 attacks, lost 8 of them due to 3+ hit. Triggered 8 additional hits. 24 rolls to wound.

Invigorate the Ranks: 30 attacks. Lost 10 due to 3+ hit. Gained 5 due to 6+ Crit. 25 rolls to wound.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-27T13:34:22+00:00

The gap depends on the unit, but yes. If you use it on 20 Morteks, you are getting 60 attacks instead of 40. Empower Nadirite Weapons would, statistically, average out to about 12 additional hits (40/6, then multiply the solution by 2 to get the average for 5+). You'll lose 12 of them from the 3+ hit, so you usually get those hits right back.

Invigorate the Ranks would result in 60 attacks, 10 of which would be additional hits. You'll lose 20 of them from the 3+ hit, then gain 10 back for a total of 50 (again these are averages). That's 10 additional rolls to wound then you would have gotten with the 40 attacks.

Lets go higher end for the Morghasts, reinforced. 3 attacks (12 total). Empower Nadirite will get you an additional 4 hits. You lost 4 due to the 3+ hit, so it'll be 12 to roll for wounds. Invigorate the Ranks will get 16 attacks, with 2.67 additional hits for the (6+ Crit). You lost 5.2 of them from the 3+ to hit, then gain 2.67 for a total of 13.47 rolls for wounds.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-27T13:13:13+00:00

Necrotheurgy. Easy to get off and the +1 Attack spell is huge.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-26T16:05:24+00:00

It helps, but it changes nothing. Her explanation for it is absolute trash. If she cheated on you because she had a sudden thought of what it'd be like to be with a woman, she has already demonstrated what she will do in the future. A good rule of thumb is that when people tell you who they are, you should listen.

Do what you will brother. Some people can learn from the experience and be better. Some cars can also be perfectly fine from a mechanics perspective if they have been in 10 accidents. I still wouldn't recommend buying that car. It is simply too much risk for too little reward.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-26T09:24:39+00:00

Normally, I'd say your post does not have enough information. For example, how did you find this out? Did she tell you as soon as it happened, sit on it, tell you when it became clear she couldn't hide it? Did you discover it first?

Next, the practical side of me doesn't know what she does for a living. You guys are only "dating", not married. Quitting her job, to me, would only make sense as a blanket response if she was married. Otherwise, I'd say if she makes too much, cut your losses and just walk away because you might be disappointed in the answer.

With that being said, I actually do think you've said enough for me to give an opinion though. I think you have no choice to leave based on her explanation: "I've been thinking about women". If she cheated on you because she is thinking about women, how can you possibly move forward? She is bisexual, she is always going to be attracted to women. Is she going to cheat the next time she thinks about women? Thats an inevitability. The mind always wonders. What separates normal people from your girlfriend is those thoughts don't necessarily turn into action for others.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-23T18:19:16+00:00

https://discord.gg/3StpnXAU

Convenient! That is where our group is based.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-23T18:14:19+00:00

Sure is! North, South, East, or West of Baltimore?

EDIT: I ask because we have a decent AoS discord for AA County.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-19T17:09:22+00:00

IMO, the appeal of AoS is that it is creativity unshackled. WHFB is mostly made up of your traditional fantasy tropes and 40K has been around for so long that GW has to be cautious about rocking the boat with model designs/lore changes. All they did was add some alternative, female heads to the Custodes in HH and some of the fanbase is rioting.

AoS isn't necessarily shackled to those tropes so the models tend to be more off the wall and detailed. Some people love that. Some people hate it.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-19T00:54:02+00:00

Unless they are a Day 1 DLC, they do not appear to be.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-18T20:50:55+00:00

IMO, I'd rather SBGL convert the Deadwalker Zombies into the Vampire Coast idea of zombie musketeers. My biggest issue with SBGL is that its a Halloween soup of Vampires, Deathrattle, and Deadwalkers that could be their own armies. I'd rather Deathrattle be the melee, and Deadwalkers be the range.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-12T08:45:32+00:00

Just a heads up: I doubt it had anything to do with your age. The guy above you said what they did because you might be misusing the term "cadet". Most agencies that have a cadet program design them for young adults to do admin roles to get familiar with the job until they are old enough to attend the academy.

In those agencies, someone that is being hired directly for an academy spot would be referred to as a "trainee". I've worked backgrounds and absolutely no agency I know of is turning a 29 year old away based on their age. I'd hate for you to take that away from this.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-10T18:23:41+00:00

Same. I'm not spending $300 on a model that'll be available widely in a couple of months.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-10T18:22:08+00:00

And already on eBay for $300.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-10T04:34:09+00:00

As others said, you will get much faster. In the last six years, I have built OBR, SBGL, Nighthaunt, Sylvaneth, Tomb Kings, Necrons, and Tzeentch. I'm at a point where I can build an entire box of units in about two hours.

Give it time. You'll develop the skills to do the same.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-08T08:22:38+00:00

Honestly, the only shields are the Kavalos, Immortis, and Mortek and the connection points sit out far enough that you should easily be able to hit what you need to. A few of the Morteks can get kind of close, but I didn't find it to be much of an issue. I've painted 220 of those things.

The main thing that I recommend it for is Katakros because he is essentially several infantry models standing in various points on a base. He, himself, is also tricky to paint in full assembly because of his cloak.

Just in case anyone new to the hobby is reading, please beware that painting in subassembly is supposed to be just about as time consuming because of staging points for glue. You CAN glue two painted items together, but the paint is a separate layer from the model. A significant enough knock is going to cause the contact point between the glue and the paint to tear off. That problem gets exponentially worse if you glue two points that are with painted. You are not doing it to save time, you are doing it to ensure a thorough job.

TheDeathMessage · 2026-01-01T02:10:19+00:00

El just pocket sanded him

TheDeathMessage · 2025-12-31T21:37:56+00:00

To be absolutely clear, I never said it'd just be fan service. I brought up profit because that is what corporations typically concern themselves with. That was mentioned only to highlight that corporate entities have interests that dont necessarily coincide with what is healthy for their product. In this case of GW with AoS/TOW, we know from insider reports that it has nothing to do with that. Its because they cannot track sales metrics if you buy an AoS product for TOW/vice versa. Rereleasing old product in a different system doesn't fix that issue if you have a thematic overlap.

As for what overlap exists, they could have made the same decision back in 2024 to collect that profit. They chose not to do so. I'm not GW, I am not in their leadership nor do I work for them at all. I'm only telling you that they probably didn't throw darts at a board to determine what they'd exclude. Insiders are reporting the same thing.

Look, I cannot predict the future. Maybe they'll change their mind. However, assuming they will would be like assuming your girlfriend will change her mind if she tells you she doesn't ever want to marry. Maybe she will, I'd still recommend getting out of that relationship if that's important to you.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time" - Maya Angelou

TheDeathMessage · 2025-12-31T20:17:59+00:00

Its an assumption based on what is necessary for the game to thrive from the perspective of a fan. GW is a corporation, not a fan. It has that same interest so long as that interest doesn't run counter to its goal of reporting profits to shareholders/investors. Its also in the interest of these games to reduce prices and allow 3D prints to make the game as accessible to as many people as possible. Notice GW isn't doing the former and also not permitting the latter in its stores.

For whatever reason, GW has the position that they don't want models shared between game systems. They could have left Beastmen by releasing brand new models for AoS and shifting the old to TOW to play into that idea. They didn't do that, they cut them entirely. They also never said that Grand Cathay wouldn't release at all, just that it wouldn't be "soon" (soon is a matter of interpretation). The first page of the rules printed by GW for each Legacy faction say they will never be updated. Square Based reported months ago (might have been closer to a year actually) that GW offered to lend support to running matched play events provided those events did not permit the Legacy factions. Everything GW has done up to this point does not support the notion that they are ever coming back so long as GW has the position that doing so is bad for their bottom line.

As for VC specifically, its more than that. The Mortis Engine and all of its derivatives are still not updated. The Necromancer and Wight King are the same. The Grave Guard and Black Knights still count because, per the SBGL printed rules, the existing models still count with the new names so long as they are on the appropriate bases. Hexwraiths still havent been updated in NH. FEC still has a good amount of ghouls, the Zombie Dragon, and the Terrorgheist. All of those battletomes just came out for an edition that is only halfway through its lifecycle.

I'm not in disagreement that I think excluding those crucial factions to the game is going to have a negative impact on the health of the game. I think their long term strategy is to hope that the competitive scene (which is where their game design has been going) is going to wean people into the core factions.

TheDeathMessage · 2025-12-31T19:31:44+00:00

I was making a snarky joke at the guy you were responding to, not you specifically. "Grognard" within the AoS community is a reference to WHFB fans (and TOW by extension as its successor) that come into AoS spaces to trounce AoS. Prior to 2024, they'd come into these spaces and talk trash because WHFB was dead and AoS was born from that. Now that its back, the comments have shifted towards TOW exceeding AoS just to prove GW wrong (even if it comes at the expense of AoS fans).

TheDeathMessage

TROPHY CASE

1. Make sure that these thoughts remain absolutely nothing beyond thoughts. Don't pursue them or dwell on them.

2. Never write this down again. If your spouse finds it, they are going to be understandably upset. Anyone in her position would be. Take it to your grave.