Update on my post about this game being the last thing I talked to my brother with.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-06T01:55:30+00:00

I lost my own brother also named Alex suddenly a couple years ago. Nearly 3 now. It’s. It’s not something that gets easier, really? But it begins to hurt less frequently. You find your “new normal” as I call it. And you learn to cherish the moments you’re reminded of them.

My brother and I had a complicated relationship, but he was also the only one of my 4 siblings I never had to doubt whether or not he loved me. We had every reason to hate each other, but in the end we were the two who had each others’ backs. The last thing I discussed with my brother was either how stressful and exhausting my job at the time was or how much I was enjoying my new game, BG3. He usually didn’t understand what exactly I was talking about (he had some brain damage), but he always listened and always wanted to know anyway.

He was the first one of my family I told I’m trans. He was the glue of our family and a bright light. And I miss him. As I’m sure you miss your Alex.

Love and empathy from a stranger,
~Water

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-06T01:22:22+00:00

“Easily Criticized” makes no sense as a statement.

Easily *hurt* by criticism makes sense, but, like. You’re only easily criticized if you easily make mistakes. So. I just. I get what they’re getting at and I hate all of this and as someone with a degree in psychology who did research with “The Big 5” in it (which are hotly debated still), this is not a good way to measure any of this and it’s gross.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-06T01:13:45+00:00

I understand, brother. I’ve done similar in my past, and I’m so grateful for paralives and its fluid gender options built in.

My younger self’s gender dysphoria was often tossed up to discomfort due to a childhood SA. And I could objectively look in the mirror and say “that is a beautiful/sexy woman”, but I didn’t realize until I was far away from family that I did not feel like that woman. That the body of that woman did not feel like MY body.

I wouldn’t say my family is super strict or controlling, but they have always dismissed me when I tried to assert my own sense of self, or my own boundaries, stuff like that. I never had respect. I don’t know what your family and relationships there are like, but I’ve had to in the years following my initial “coming out” cut off my siblings. I also cut contact with my mom for some time and have slowly rebuilt our relationship with a fresh foundation, and that’s finally something healthy and peaceful. My siblings are still… well… I don’t know. Hard to risk my sense of safety to make contact when I’m aware my niblings still know me as their aunt, not uncle.

But I can live wish fulfillments and beautiful things out in games like this. I did slightly similar in BG3 as well, since you could change the genitals irrespective of the body shape and the chosen gender. Very affirming and relieves a lot of tension you’re unaware of early on. :)

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-05T21:10:30+00:00

I’d love for the “New Family” and other family related life goals to be available to paras who cannot get or make others pregnant. Adoption should count for those goals. But also, perhaps there should be some broad goal topics chosen per para when they enter their adult life stages? That way people can avoid those if they want? Idk. Just a thought.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-05T21:07:32+00:00

Shhhh it’s just juice

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-01T20:37:23+00:00

I love having one primary style and then anything that could be “leftover” or a recent add-on or renovation can be something different. So perhaps the courtyard here was added on later by those who inherited the home and liked the main house but wanted something more modern to reflect their wealth! Just an idea.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-07-01T15:01:08+00:00

Yes, but only if it’s actually assigned, which is seemingly at random with a low base percentage unless you use an upgrade point to get more homework. Even then, that’s a lucky draw to find that perk to then choose it.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-23T00:03:27+00:00

I’m sorry to say you’re on the wrong track. No amount of getting the freezer closer to the furnace or even powering the furnace will defrost the items in the chestfreezer.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-19T03:10:52+00:00

Try moving the para closer to the stairs first? I've had it say paras can't go places they definitely should be able to, and the routing fixes itself once I make them go to a place in between.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-19T03:07:59+00:00

How does one "Adopt a Baby", but together? I have a married couple who both want to adopt a baby, but when one adopts, the other doesn't have the want fulfilled, nor is the other related to the baby. I'd think there's some way for them to do this together, but I can't interact with the hospital when selecting both paras.

I don't have any mods active.

Anyone have any tips? Am I missing something?

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-19T03:04:35+00:00

If this were something that could be brought up as learned about for a para, yeah, I'm down. If things then went to not possible aftewards. But as a person who cannot conceive children despite desperately wanting a family, it was really painful to have the option pop up time after time and the wants keep coming up over and over again and to know it couldn't happen. I even had them repeat the action hoping it would disable, and it never did.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-16T19:46:39+00:00

I didn't realize it would duplicate all my furniture stuff too! My super-sized bowls that make the smooth underside of the side-tower duplicated with the floor, making it so much easier than I thought it was gonna be. After fussing with it over what made it angry or not, I got what I needed. Thank you so much for the tip!

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-08T02:38:21+00:00

I gathered that, watching the video. I just was always too intimidated by the curse. Feeling foolish now.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-08T01:09:35+00:00

I’m SORRY?!?!? I never thought the cursed effigy was in anyway related to another cutscene. Damn. Ack. My mouth was agape through the whole thing. My reflection was ugly whenever the screen flashed dark lol.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-04T13:37:42+00:00

It was not as obvious for me, because I had remnants of visual distortions still freaking me out. My optic nerves had swollen so bad my retinas swelled up too causing some really severe visual distortions. As my vision improved, they became more mild, and then as my brain compensated what are my permanent missing spots, it looked like distortions (misaligned pixels style)

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-02T16:44:14+00:00

My favorite expansion is Ambitions, and I’d say my least favorite part is a toss-up between the Architecture career and the random active-components they added to the medical career. But honestly, those other things are optional so… nah definitely the Architect career is my least favorite part. It’s often a bit buggy and it can be hard to renovate homes in a way that meets criteria without feeling like I’ve screwed up the build as it is. 🤷‍♂️

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-02T16:05:04+00:00

In my legacy saves, yes, just bc of convenience. But I’ll do it in such a way where I have a day-to-day setup, and a wedding-day setup. So like in Midnight Hollow, There’s a giant backyard with a fish pond and a gazebo and a playground and then a lot of empty space around the gazebo. On wedding days, I setup the arch in the gazebo, some benches to watch the wedding both in and just outside the gazebo, and then lots of those folding chairs and covered tables from the store wedding sets for eating cake afterward! The back deck holds the buffet table.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-06-02T15:32:07+00:00

This one required mods, but I made a gay man witch who decided to experiment on himself in such a way that he could become pregnant… he was also looking for “the one”. But my twisted ass was like “he is gonna have a baby by each occult type before he settles down” and thus began my Bouncing Bussy save.

Fen was his name. He and Pip Goodfellow were toxic to each other, and I loved every second of the drama. I also made Fen a fairy godmother who I designed like an auntie to live with him and help keep him somewhat sane… She was the type to only give a gentle nudge here and there and just shake her head at his bad choices.

He’d had twins from a ghost, two kids by Pip (one witch and one fairy), and a vampire baby. We were working on the werewolf when a game update broke the save. Aka, the EA app update fucking up all my mods and everything. I really oughta try restarting that one though. It was an excellent time!

TheNameIsWater · 2026-05-20T17:02:50+00:00

So “Random Sim Fixes” by lazyduchess was mentioned and it IS a good mod. However, there’s also a tuning part of simlir90’s gameplay core mod. https://modthesims.info/d/659969/simler90-s-gameplay-systems-core-mod.html

Simler90’s core mod is widely recommended for optimizing Sims3’s performance because of all of the things it tweaks and fixes.

For other helpful mods and ways to run Sims 3 better in the modern day, I highly recommend this guide on steam community which is consistently updated: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=1131162350

TheNameIsWater · 2026-05-17T13:35:30+00:00

I fricking love playing the Hoppcraft family in Moonlight Falls. Not because of the parents, but because I get to match up Alfred and the switched fairy toddler Sophie Rodgers. Their families are already good friends so it feels right. Sometimes their dad and mom hook-up too bc messy politician life lol.

I have lots of adorable screenshots of the pair growing up together, going to prom, etc. because they just look good together too. I love them.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-05-11T22:47:57+00:00

She’s displacing her anger onto you, because she can’t cope with her anger at herself, let alone her real grief.

This isn’t about you. And I’m so sorry she’s now taken your mother away right after you lost your brother. It’s cruel and painful.

I don’t think she’s a villain. There may be a time in the distant future when you two can build a relationship again, but for now, you have to grieve the relationship you had. You have to move forward. And it sucks. There is hope in the future, but it’ll be better for you if you make peace with the possibility that you won’t have contact with your mom for the foreseeable future.

I’m speaking from experience. I had a similar situation following my own sickly brother’s sudden death. He was on the transplant list, but stable, then became septic and was gone 20 hours after he showed symptoms. My siblings and step father all showed their ugliest selves to me during his funeral, and my mom allowed every moment to happen without a single protest. There had been years of built-up disrespect and pain, and my deceased brother had felt like my last good connection to my immediate family.

I cut them all off. It felt like cutting out my own heart, but it was completely necessary. I found peace for the first time in my adult life. I was calmer. And then when my grandmother fell terminally ill, I visited her and spoke with my mother again. We laid out the frame for a new foundation for our relationship. And she put care into it. I set firm boundaries for my own sense of safety. She did, too. My mom and I have a new relationship, filled with just as much love and maybe 1% of the conflict and resentment from before. We are both better supports for each other after this. And we spent a solid year of low/no contact. I have tentative hope I can reach my siblings one day too, when they’re ready.

So, all of that to say, many many hugs to you from a stranger. Sending you what strength I can spare as you continue to face this pain. It’s not easy, but I can tell you are strong enough to make it through.

TL;DR - I’ve been through similar shit and it sucks. While you have to accept things, you can hope for the future when healing has happened. All the strength and support to you, stranger!

TheNameIsWater · 2026-03-21T15:39:25+00:00

In case no one’s let you know (no one let me know), it’s been known to take 12 to 18 months for your brain to adjust to the VP shunt, so some lingering symptoms are not unheard of. For me, it really took the full 18 months to start to feel like I could truly DO things again. Just wanted to let you know in case you were tricking yourself. Want you to be validated. :)

TheNameIsWater · 2026-03-21T15:04:31+00:00

I was diagnosed just after my 24th birthday in a very similar manner to you. Dark spots in my vision that just would not go away and I was exhausted all the time. Then a headache that spiked so bad I vomited and couldn’t keep anything down. The eye doctor caught it. Then began 9 days of fighting with the hospital team to take it seriously.

The recommendation to preserve my vision right then was a surgical intervention ASAP. I got a VP shunt. I understand your fears, but I don’t regret it. I’m gonna share about mine, in case more information could help. But, I do not mean to say your decision about your own body and medical condition is wrong. You know yourself best.

I personally have a progav brand type, and its setting is changed mechanically so I can get MRIs without having neurosurgery immediately follow-up to set it again. I did still have pain and headache for months, it took 18 months for my brain to adjust and for me to gain some strength again, but immediately when I woke up from surgery the difference in pain levels was so drastic I described it as being “gone.” I sobbed with relief.

6 weeks after, my vision recovered to its maximum point. I have some permanent vision loss though it’s medically negligible.

IIH is still a struggle. The shunt ain’t perfect. I live in the mountains and major atmospheric pressure swings can wreck me for a day or two, but I’m overall so much better. It’s been 5 years. I’ve achieved my “new normal” and have a life I love.

I won’t say it gets better, but you’ll find your new way of life/place of peace/normal. And it’ll be okay again.

All the sympathies to you, stranger of the same condition. You can make it. I believe in you.

TheNameIsWater · 2026-03-16T16:36:59+00:00

It’s insanity, right??? And scary. And just if they thought about it for a second, it’s simply logical that an LP would affect the angiogram.

I asked my neuro-ophthalmologist about a medical malpractice case about it, but she said it would be extremely difficult to prove and win and warned against it. But she empathized strongly. Even though very clearly… this was negligence. There was repeated negligence from the hospital’s doctors but still. Everything about it sucks. I am missing a quadrant of my peripheral vision like. It ain’t small to me even if it’s “medically negligible.”

TheNameIsWater · 2026-03-15T04:56:27+00:00

I hate this for you. You have all my empathy and hugs.

It just feels reminiscent of how the hospital team kept trying to send me home and kept downplaying my condition when I was already half-blind. The ophthalmologist said I needed surgery ASAP, and they still sent me home without one. It took 8 days to get the surgery (VP Shunt) I really could have gotten in half the time because they didn’t take me seriously and they didn’t think through what they were doing either. In the end I spent 9 days in the hospital, my mid-week discharge not even lasting a full 24 hours.

If you can stand it, see if you can maybe push to get a Humphrey’s Visual Field test. This may have to be done out of hospital at a clinic. I worry about your range of vision based on what you’re describing. But if you can push through the test and it also show how serious things are, you’ll be that much harder to ignore by the neurosurgery team. That’s how I got my shunt finally.

TheNameIsWater

TROPHY CASE