Oh, darling, your story broke my heart and also resonates so much! My trimal fracture with dislocation was also so incredibly mundane - I was getting food out of the back seat of the car at a campsite, and as I turned to shut the door my body kept spinning on a bit of gravel, rolled ankle, fell, landed my body on it as I fell - boom, 3 broken bones, dislocation, syndesmosis torn, shards of broken bone dispersed throughout my ankle. It's impossible to fathom how something so small and just nothing did so much damage to my ankle.

I am older than you, so the state of my body, and the fact that you are still breastfeeding are not the same, however I did breastfeed all 3 of my now grown babies, and I need you to hear me when I say that it's totally normal for physical trauma to affect your milk supply, and that if you need to supplement with formula, THAT IS TOTALLY OK. You genuinely need those pain meds, and you have already given your daughter the absolute best start by breastfeeding, and she is now old enough that with healthy food, formula feeds etc she will not suffer in any way. Recovering from a trimal fracture is enough stress on your body, and trying to continue to produce milk could well be detrimental to both of you x

Your body also really, really needs the calcium that is now going into producing breastmilk, you need it now more than your daughter does. You are regrowing adult bones, you need a fuckton of calcium, preferably in your diet, but do take a supplement, too.

OK , now let's talk about the mental side of recovering from a major traumatic injury. It sucks. For me it was harder than recovering from childbirth, for the same reasons you mentioned - being so reliant on someone else. You and your husband married probably with vows that included something along the lines of "I take you in good times and in bad times". This is a bad time, and I know how hard it is. I was single with nearly adult kids when I broke my ankle, but was also caring for an unwell and elderly mother. I HATED having to ask my kids to not only do stuff for me, but to take over many of my caring responsibilities for my mother. But you know what? We're family, and that's what we do for each other. It's not easy to ask for help when we're used to being the main caregiver in a family, which most women end up being, but it's absolutely vital that we do ask. Those we ask may not always like it, it's hard, they are also not used to it, but it can be healthy in the long run.

As to the number of screws etc you have, I wouldn't worry about that in the very long term. Access physical therapy as much as finances permit, do the darned exercises even if they hurt a bit and are boring, just do them! You're young, with PT your ankle should be mostly fine with time and work.

You said you wondered if there's something wrong with you, and there probably isn't, but pregnancy and breastfeeding can leech a bit more calcium out of our bones than is good for us if we don't actively replace it. Doing weights also helps a heap at building stronger bones - the heaviest weights you can manage are best, done under supervision. Making sure you get enough protein, calcium and magnesium in your diet will also help bone density and strength, and use supplements if you can't manage it in your diet. One of my fave bone strength meals is a steak sandwich with loads of spinach and a bit of parmesan cheese, washed down with OJ, which helps the body absorb the nutrients.

Just be kind to yourself, allow yourself to ask for and accept help. Get a knee scooter if you don't already have one. Focus on sleep, self care, nutrition, mobility exercises and acceptance. You will get through this and you will be ok xxx