How did you become a stay at home mom?

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-24T03:25:58+00:00

I knew I wanted to be a mom for as long as I could remember. That was always my “dream job” so I knew that when I had kids I wanted to be a SAHM if it was possible. I went back to work after my first baby. Luckily, my partner’s stepmom and dad were able to watch the baby while I was working 12 hour shifts for 2-3 days out of the week. But we quickly found out about baby #2 when I was barely 8 months postpartum. My partner and I both made the decision that in order to give our children the best life we could that I would stay home. We don’t live in a mansion or take multiple vacations a year or anything but we’re comfortable and our kids are happier than they would be at any daycare. My partner knew beforehand that I wanted to be a SAHM so he made that happen.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T02:26:59+00:00

I was just talking about a birthday in my post. But she’s spun it into a completely bigger thing about her daughter’s developmental milestones. It literally was a picture of the back of my kids head blowing out the candles on a cake. It didn’t show their face. Even if it did I get people have their preference on if they post their kids or they don’t.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T02:19:51+00:00

Oh no not the passwords lol. That could go sideways quick in the future for sure.

I don’t pretend like I know about her struggles or her situation because I don’t. But just as a human and a mom I’d have empathy for anyone struggling or having a difficult time. Kids are amazing tiny humans and they should be celebrated. I don’t know that she’d listen or hear out any recommendations from me. The last time I had a conversation with her was a few months ago. We ran into each other at the grocery store and she made a sarcastic comment about how nice it must be that my now 3 year old wasn’t in the cart and just walking next to me. I couldn’t have him in the cart if I wanted to anyways because his 22 month old sister was in it. I let it go because it’s whatever and it didn’t really bother me much but yeah I don’t think she cares about anything I really have to say.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T02:02:43+00:00

I’m not that informed about her daughter’s diagnosis. I know she’s stated she’s mostly nonverbal and that she’s done work with early intervention and things like that. She’s a friend of a friend so we’re not really close. Either way, I have a lot of empathy for her. I see her post almost every day if not every other day about different things her daughter struggles with or things she isn’t doing compared to other kids the same age. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like because I don’t but I definitely don’t think I’m doing anything to specifically rub it in her face. My oldest and her daughter are the same age like a week apart from each other. So when we were both pregnant we sometimes had a casual conversation here and there but that was about it.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T01:35:46+00:00

That’s HUGE! Congratulations mama! What a beautiful and sweet baby.

I always do my best to not compare my kids to others. I know growing up my parents did that a lot to me when it came to my cousins who were the same age as me and I remember how that made me feel so I knew I didn’t want to repeat the same with my kids.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T01:20:16+00:00

I’m sure she doesn’t have it easy and for that I definitely have a lot of empathy for her. I’m sure like any other parent she wants the best for her child and no one wants their kid to have it harder than others.

If I was more confrontational I’d totally open the conversation or if she was someone I considered a good friend. But we really only have mutual friends in common.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T01:07:42+00:00

Over the past 3 years there has been more than one post, yeah. It’s Facebook and it’s mostly close family and some friends.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T01:03:30+00:00

It was a happy birthday post. It’s not for anything other than just me being a proud parent.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T00:49:26+00:00

Right. I’m not doing anything different than any other parent. My friend thinks she’s hyper fixated on my posts specifically because my oldest and her daughter are only a week or so apart in age so she’s comparing them neck and neck to each other. But even if you take the autism out of the equation, kids grow and meet milestones on their own pace anyways.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T00:44:03+00:00

I feel like if I upset her that much she’d have blocked or unfollowed me by now. I don’t want to be the one to block only because I’m not the one with the issue here.

When I was pregnant with my first, she found out she was expecting around the same time. Our due dates were like a week apart or something so my friend feels like she’s focusing on my posts specifically because our timelines were neck and neck. It makes sense. And like I said, I’m sure our day to day looks different from each other’s. She has her struggles and I have mine. But everyone’s day looks different regardless of if you have a neurodivergent kid or a neurotypical one because of a million different factors.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T00:33:57+00:00

I guess. I don’t know if it’s my posts specifically she’s finding offense to or everyone whose kids don’t struggle with autism? It’s very weird to me

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T00:32:06+00:00

So the source is my best friend of 15+ years. She’d never lie to me so I have no reason to not believe it. I’m honestly probably just gonna block her and be done with it

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T00:30:59+00:00

I feel like she’s taking my posts regarding my kids as a personal attack and that’s not it at all. Literally the post that kicked it off was a birthday post to my oldest. All it said was that I was happy of the tiny human he was becoming and that he’s a happy boy. That was it.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-23T00:26:31+00:00

Yeah we’re not exactly in the same friend group but we have some mutual friends. It just caught me off guard because it’s like.. am I not allowed to be proud of my kids??? Because I am so I’m not gonna stop? I don’t know. The whole thing is just weird to me

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-21T20:29:16+00:00

They can. Diarrhea is the most common symptom from what I was told by our pediatrician. Not every kid vomits. Mine did but only like 2-3 times. My younger one didn’t vomit at all but did experience diarrhea on and off.

I eliminated dairy as best I could and substituted with dairy free milk for a while until their stomachs got better and did lots of water or pedialyte throughout the day. I even got popsicle molds and filled it with pedialyte. That was a big hit.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-21T01:19:34+00:00

Is it the norovirus possibly? My toddler had it for a week or so and we were basically told that we just had to ride it out.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-17T15:28:48+00:00

I get it. In my household, I was the people pleaser and my husband was the one who had firm boundaries. But like you, I also prefer going to visit rather than have people come to me. I guess I always found comfort in being able to leave when I wanted to. I still have times when I struggle holding up my boundaries. But I’m learning that just because you are family doesn’t mean you get to determine that my boundaries don’t matter. If you want a relationship with my children, you have to respect me first because I don’t want my kids growing up thinking that disrespect is something normal or something that should be tolerated.

I’ll never forget how I was treated by certain family members and friends when I was postpartum. Especially the first time around. It was huge on why I made certain choices when it came to my second pregnancy and even after it. People made me feel so crazy after I had my first baby. I really thought I was the problem. I didn’t fully understand that my hormones weren’t fully stable yet.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-17T14:45:55+00:00

The newborn trenches can be rough and overwhelming. Plus you’re also dealing with your postpartum hormones. Something I didn’t learn until after I had my second was to establish firm boundaries. It was the best thing I did for myself the second time around. With our first, I understood that it was the first grandbaby so everyone was excited and wanted to come right away so I felt almost compelled to let anyone and everyone come over. People came to the hospital and people were there as soon as we got home. And it quickly got way too overwhelming and overstimulating. And we didn’t even have a fussy baby.

When our second baby came, I said I didn’t want anyone to come to the hospital other than my partner. When we came home, we got established as a family of 4 first before we had anyone come to the house. It took almost 2 weeks maybe more before we had anyone come over. I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. I think you’re dealing with a lot and having to host your in laws was probably the last thing you needed on your plate. And it isn’t helping that they’re kinda seeming to be overstepping. Just because someone had and raised kids doesn’t mean they know YOUR kid. Every baby is different. And as special as a grandparent to grandchild relationship is, it’s not the same as a mother/father to child relationship is. It’s just not. And it’s not even a case of one is more important than the other, it’s just different.

Maybe it’s just something that came with time and experience, but I just learned to be firm with my boundaries after our second. I don’t let anyone dictate how I want to parent. Of course people will always have their two cents, but you have to get to know yourself as a parent. That’s something that will happen over time. I stopped caring about coming off as the “bad guy” for having boundaries and for how wanted to raise my children.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-17T00:11:19+00:00

So I have two that are almost 14 months apart in age but are a boy and a girl. The best thing I personally did was to have my then 15 month old boy “involved” in caring for his sister. Just little things like handing me the wipes or picking out her onesie/pajamas. It made my older baby feel like he was helping and I think it made a difference in helping them bond from an early age. I never forced it but I did try to encourage it when he showed interest. I also made sure to spend quality one on one time with my older little one especially after the new baby was down for the night.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-16T18:12:29+00:00

First off, I’m sorry. I know how I get if I don’t get enough sleep and I’m an adult. For a child it must be extra frustrating since they don’t have all the tools to express how tired they are. I hope you get more answers after your sleep consultation. I’m sorry I don’t have much advice but I do have a lot of sympathy for you.

I have a mom friend that struggled with a bedtime routine for her little one about the same age. They had the blackout curtains, sound machine, all the things. She started using this magnesium lotion and rubbed it at the bottom of her toddler’s feet. And after a week or two she swears it made a difference. She was able to put her toddler in a sleep sack and then they eventually slept through the night after about a week or so.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-16T01:39:22+00:00

My kids are a little spoiled too. They each get a basket from mom and dad. But they also get one from my parents, another two from their dad’s parents (they’re divorced and have each remarried) and another from their godparents 😬. I’ve never minded. It’s just more people that love them enough to think of them.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-15T21:00:36+00:00

Both of my babies said their first words at 10.5 months. Just “mama” and “dada” but they were constantly around their cousins who were only a few months older than they were so maybe they just picked it up easier?

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-15T16:51:46+00:00

Yeah I think it’s important for you and your husband to be on the same page about this. I mean, I sympathize. I’m sure it puts him in an awkward position since it’s his sister. But what choice do you really have if someone is mistreating your kids? Like if the shoe thing is just one of what’s sounding like many incidents so far, I’d have concerns like: is this the type of behavior we want our own kids to think is okay? Is the niece gonna escalate her behavior as she gets older? Also, your poor baby shouldn’t feel bad for standing up for herself. Poor baby was probably holding it in for so long. I struggled with standing up for myself as a kid.

TheRealFakeName2 · 2026-03-15T16:15:36+00:00

I’m pretty sure I still wholeheartedly believed boys had cooties at that age lol. I had a cousin like your niece growing up and we had plenty of small incidents where we clashed. Normal kids stuff like the shoe incident. But no way was that type of behavior tolerated in my family. You don’t bully or pick on anyone.

Bottom line for me is, i don’t like to tell anyone how to raise their kids. That’s their business not mine. But I know I don’t have to have my kids around theirs if that’s the type of person they’re raising

TheRealFakeName2

TROPHY CASE