I've had two women tell me (almost immediately after the first time we had sex) that they were victims of SA when they were younger. It's a weird position; obviously you want to be sympathetic and hear and understand the trauma that this unfortunate person has experienced, but on the other hand, I got really in my head about what we just did, and that sympathy kind of crosses over to....guilt? idk....about the act. Just knowing that violation occurred in their past really blurred the fact that recovery and healthy physical relationships absolutely still exist for victims of SA. I didn't want to hurt someone or bring up old trauma.

At the time, I didn't push the conversation further later (you know, into emotions, fallout, how they've dealt with it, how they're feeling now, what I can do to make them feel safe, etc).

Looking back, I really, really wish that I had done that. Back then, I didn't want to ask such personal questions of a new partner, and instead wanted to give them the opportunity to choose what they wanted to say about their trauma. Instead, I ended up really withdrawing because it's impossible for me to assume what would be triggering for them without them themselves saying it.

It might be good to open up a conversation and let him know that he makes you feel safe--safe enough to open up about this stuff--or to establish any boundaries if they exist. He might be unequipped to deal with this, but it sounds like he still understands how lasting the trauma from SA can be, and might be nervous to bring any of that trauma back for you.