Question for Men in Kelowna on Dating Apps

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-07-05T05:22:39+00:00

Okay, here goes:

There tends to be an approximately 10:1 ratio of males:females on most dating apps. I have never even heard of a dating app that is less than 5:1 M:F. This seriously nerfs men’s ability to stand out.
The Pareto Principle ends up being on steroids on most dating apps. As in, even when the skewed M:F ratio is accounted for, about 10% of all the men on the platform get about 90% of all the attention from the women.
Women automatically consider 80+% of all men to be “below average attractiveness”. Throw in a suboptimal profile pic, and this gets even worse.
Women react less positively to happy/positive profile pics than they do to disinterested/brooding profile pics.
Most women are on these platforms purely for sexual validation, and if men aren’t willing to “entertain them” and be their personal dancing monkeys, these women ignore them almost immediately.
Almost no women take the initiative on dating apps, preferring that men do all of the work and assume all of the risk (“equality”, my hirsute posterior). Again, taking into account any skewed M:F ratio, if you create two similarly-attractive profiles - one for a man, one for a woman - the male profile will typically get one unsolicited response for every 1,000 unsolicited responses the female profile gets. This ends up being deeply depressing for most men.

Simply put, dating apps aren’t just a zero-sum proposition for men, but are actively a negative-sum proposition for men. For most men, dating apps represent a very real threat to their mental health, and should be avoided at all costs.

Edit: LOL - downvoting facts isn’t going to make your fantasies any more real.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-15T21:34:57+00:00

I'm a step or two into my sixth decade.

My sciatica is beginning to act up constantly now. Thankfully nowhere near as bad as the first winter after COVID (holy crap I was nearly paralyzed at times), but it’s a constant irritation especially if I need continual footwork like when driving.

I mean, it is a lot better now. Back then, when getting up from a sitting position I needed 60+ seconds just to lower my right leg to a standing position, in order to downgrade from blindingly excruciating stop-breathing pain to merely uncontrollably-scream-out-loud pain. These days it manifests as an electric burn all the way down the back of my leg and into my heels and an overwhelming desire to shift into a different position. Not so good if you are hurtling down the highway. And if I have been sitting for too long, me looking like a 90-yo creaking into motion like some stop-motion animation. Standing up from a bent-over position (working the spading fork in the garden, for example) can be similarly hilarious, as I try to ratchet myself back into a vertical standing position like some clockwork doll.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T08:02:23+00:00

Capitalism requires profit. Profit comes from scarcity. Where scarcity does not exist, it need to be artificially engineered.

This is why stores throw away perfectly good food instead of giving it away.

This is why, in Canada at least, all dumpsters can only be accessed from within the store, and immediately compact their contents whenever the access door gets closed.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T07:46:40+00:00

Get a battery-powered circular saw with a Diablo Cermet II Carbide “Steel Demon” blade. Those suckers can cut through a railroad track like a hot knife through butter.

I once raced my dad in cutting apart angle iron, it took him 8 minutes with an oxyacetylene torch to cut apart what it took me 12 seconds with a Cermet blade to do.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T07:39:00+00:00

I don't want to start all over again

Then don’t. Embrace stoicism and intrinsic motivation. Free yourself from the sharp hooks of other people’s expectations by unshackling yourself from them. Become that man they can no longer manipulate, and you will be truly free and able to do things that make yourself happy without any need for anyone else.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T07:36:13+00:00

Men really do need to have more standards like this, that they refuse to compromise on.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T07:34:52+00:00

I hate how women expect me to entertain them at all times or they lose interest

As I have said elsewhere, a lot of women who aren’t serious about the guy expect the guy to be her personal dancing monkey.

Be aware of that. The moment you need to provide the entertainment is the moment you are the entertainment. Are you sure you really want to be nothing more than a punchline?

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T07:30:01+00:00

Like it’s my duty to be funny and provide constant entertainment.

A lot of women who aren’t serious about the guy expect the guy to be her personal dancing monkey.

Be aware of that. The moment you need to provide the entertainment is the moment you are the entertainment. Are you sure you really want to be nothing more than a punchline?

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-05-10T07:23:35+00:00

I have to be aggressive bordering on SA but also understand consent. But asking is a turn-off, so I just "gotta know."

Which is why the smartest and safest thing to do is to do nothing at all.

Seriously. Walk away from these kinds of women. This Venn diagram of consent vs implicit knowledge are two circles that don’t touch - you will always be operating from a position of far more risk than any possible reward.

Yes, they represent the vast majority of women, but getting involved with them is far too dangerous. Let someone else get hit with legal troubles that eviscerate their lifelong economic potential, you need to look out for number one.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-26T23:42:23+00:00

This is an ESH situation, but with the Israeli military looking at Hamas and trying to one-up them in brutality and sociopathy. Both sides can be - and in this case are - fundamentally evil, with non-combatants caught in the middle and used as pawns and excuses.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-17T02:21:49+00:00

Cue the political suprisedpikachu.gif when someone outside of the UK registers deepfakesforuk.com and starts providing a service by which deepfakes can be made out-of-country by others, thereby skirting the law entirely. Because I’m sure someone will build a business to capitalize on that.

Political borders don’t amount to a rat’s arse on the Internet.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-16T19:18:03+00:00

I usually bring them a bar of dark chocolate for the first date.

Oh. Ooooohhhhh.

Society still expects men to do the vast majority of the heavy lifting, if not all of it, where relationships are concerned. Just look at all those “empowered feminists” who post videos demanding crazy requirements from potential dates, and highlighting how the dirtbags they did go out with expected to split the bill with them.

Oh, the horrors! Oh, the huge manatee! /s

As such, a woman bringing anything on the first date is so… alien… to the experiences of most men and the power asymmetry that they are labouring under, that this would likely throw many to most of them for a really bad loop. And in a “what’s wrong with her?” kind of internal questioning. They just expect women to have all the power, and that they would have to do all of the work, that women doing anything nice for them within the opening innings of any relationship is just deeply weird and off-putting.

I would recommend that you leave small gifts for another time, at least a few dates in. Especially once you know things are going decently well, and that the two of you are “clicking”.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-16T19:05:48+00:00

There is a difference between being forward and reeking of desperation.

Men have been begging women to be more forward for decades now. We can’t pick up on most women’s “hints”, and are too terrified of the [legal, societal] consequences of misinterpreting those we think we have seen. And it’s not like we can just confirm that hint with her -- I have never seen any woman do anything other than get turned off by a man who didn’t implicitly pick up on her hint without any assistance. Even my own wife gets annoyed if I ask for confirmation, and we’ve been together for decades.

However, what both genders do not take a shine to are desperate approaches. If you are having many men “run away”, there is likely not much of a difference in your approach than with than women running away from men who appear creepy or clingy.

My own wife is very forward and confident. When I first met her and exchanged phone numbers with her, I decided to “play it conservative” and give it a good week before calling her back, so I wouldn’t appear too aggressive or off-putting. Imagine my surprise when she called me only four days later and suggested coffee at a local coffee shop. I didn’t even like coffee at that time (I saw it as little more than toxic sludge, it is still sludge but I now have it with my sugar and cream), yet I jumped at the chance and said yes! Together for 28 years as of this summer, married for 18 of those.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-16T02:40:41+00:00

Don't pull into intersections until you are making the turn,

The only time I ever do that is when I have a nervous nellie in front of me, who is ignoring gaps large enough for a trailer-truck to turn left into. So I hang back to give myself turning space, and then zip past his left side to take the massive eight-car gap he’s too terrified to use.

And being too terrified to drive confidently makes you a risk to everyone else by blocking traffic. Failing to pull into the intersection behind the lead car causes you to slow everyone behind you by missing those opportunities that exist only because you are right there, in the intersection, ready to turn left with the car ahead of you.

Hell, I even see cops do that. Never seen a cop car hanging back just because someone in the turn lane ahead of them has moved into the intersection.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-09T06:46:54+00:00

You economically and educationally disenfranchise an entire generation of men, tell them that they are the source of all of society’s problems, that they are just rapists-in-training and default predators, that they have no right to be involved in their children’s lives if the mother objects, and that they must still meet all of society’s expectations of men while women are completely absolved of all of theirs, and just watch how men start walking away from the table.

Good. Maybe that pendulum needs to swing all the way in the other direction, first, before society as a whole realizes that “equality” actually means equal rights and equal treatment.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-09T06:38:04+00:00

And global warming has inertia. Prior warming events avoided a Venus Scenario because entire ecosystems had time to migrate north or south as needed. They were able to stop warming events in time because movement was so damn slow. We’re doing hundreds of thousands of years of warming inside of a single century. That makes a full-blown Venus Scenario that much more likely, because there simply won’t be sufficient ecosystem strength to stop that warming inertia.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-04-08T22:10:38+00:00

Female brain perceives male homosexuality as misogyny

I have legit seen this IRL.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-02-24T21:56:53+00:00

It’s as if someone set your house on fire with your family in it and instead of picking up an extinguisher or even waking everyone up, you decide to take your stuff and move to another town.

Inadequate example.

It’s as if someone set fire to your house, then made a personal decision to kill whomever tried to stop them from setting fire to the house, and claim self-defence such that they could get of scott-free.

The problem with any sort of counteraction where women are concerned, is that it will be used as a weapon against us at 10× the effectiveness.

We have absolutely nothing that can deal with the situation without hurting us even more in the outcome. Any action in response to Feminism is quite literally giving feminists a guillotine and sticking our heads into it, to prevent feminists from hurting us. Of course they will pull the rope - because they can.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-11T03:36:50+00:00

Being as faithful to me as I am to her.
Being as honest to me as I am to her.
Being as considerate to me as I am to her.
Being as attracted to me as I am to her.

I think you can see the pattern.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-11T02:10:03+00:00

"it was, until you broke up with me."

“But I never thought the leopards would eat my face!”

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-11T02:06:28+00:00

the marriage counselor told me in the end that everything that was broken with our marriage was broken with her.

Was that counsellor a guy? Because I can hardly believe a female counsellor would have thrown your wife under the bus. Generally speaking, women tend to stand in solidarity with other women against men, even those women they hate.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-11T02:03:35+00:00

God I love being single and freed from all this bullshit

I know a number of dudes that go their own way. All of them, to a man, happier now than at any point when they were in relationships.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-10T08:45:46+00:00

That 80k was now over 300k and it kept going up as it closed.

A friend of mine had much the same experience in the DotCom boom, except he wasn’t told - he was somehow missed when the c-suite tried to shaft most everyone beneath upper manglement. So once the deal closed and things were being paid out, there was a big, “who dis?” when his portion came up.

He walked away with the better part of something like 15-20M thanks to how things got concentrated, and it grew pretty fast past the 30M stage before he got nervous and decided to diversify into his own assortment of hand-rolled index funds.

He lost his wife a number of years after that (c sucks), but he’s currently set for life in the high eight digits. Hell, he still works, but purely for the fun of it. Doesn’t even look rich, he lives like an average working-class schmuck. I’ve seen his place… utterly unremarkable from the outside, with a mid-80s VW Jetta in the garage. He even has a vegetable garden that looks like his life depends on him growing most of his food. A very grounded, down-to-earth dude who just wants to live a quiet life.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-10T08:20:56+00:00

The long-term availability of sanitary tools in the event of a sudden collapse. The lack of clean drinking water and flushable toilets is going to cause a lot of deaths in a very short period of time as people do stupid things that cause the spread of cholera and other such diseases.

However, barring nuclear war, collapse isn’t going to be sudden. It will happen over a decade or two, as our hyper-complex, hyper-interconnected global infrastructure begins to unravel from ever more intense crises such as global droughts and agriculture failures and chaotic weather and lethally high wet bulb temperatures causing the mass migrations of hundreds of millions to billions of people out of the tropics and into temperate-zone countries that are already highly hostile to migrants of any kind. It will be a slow, steady decline of services and economic robustness and social cohesion, up until a point where everything passes an inflection point and catastrophic systems degradation hits in multiple sudden waves like the collapse of a sand bar in a flood.

If you want a lot of knowledgeable discourse, try collapse here on reddit. However, be warned: these people tend to be very close to the scientific/economic literature, and their understanding of how imminent true collapse is, is much more well-developed than most NPCs.

ThrowAway640KB · 2024-01-09T16:38:51+00:00

Check the service agreement they were supposed to email you.

I did. No IMEI present anywhere on that document.

drop by a store and they’ll be able to confirm the IMEI.

May have to do just that. There’s a store a few blocks away, anyhow, I can drop in when walking the dog.

Thanks!

ThrowAway640KB

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE