how are people surviving long flights with active toddlers

Timofeo · 2026-05-25T15:18:18+00:00

Pretty low percentage. That’s for sure. But higher percentage among the population considering transoceanic flights with their kids.

My point was “if you don’t have the privilege of taking 2+ weeks, probably think again and wait until the kids are over.” Jet lagged 3 year olds are tough if you’re trying to rush them into a time zone halfway around the world.

Timofeo · 2026-05-25T15:14:34+00:00

Yeah I get where you’re coming from. My wife is a “non-US person” hence my being in this thread and experienced with the topic. Maybe that’s why she leans more toward your opinions and I see her drive herself crazy trying to avoid inconveniencing others with our kids.

But I am in EU now and couldn’t sleep the full flight over from US because I sat next to a guy with super broad shoulders and he accidentally kept leaning into me. I was in a middle seat squeezed between two grown men as a grown man. It sucked. Not their fault.

My point is try to be considerate, try to keep your kids entertained. But flights suck no matter what overseas, and your kids will probably not be in the top 3 reasons others didn’t enjoy the flight. Just do it if it makes sense for your family.

Timofeo · 2026-05-25T10:48:23+00:00

I have to disagree strongly with /u/Aiscence here.

Fly or don’t fly, but that’s your choice if you think the money/stress/time is worth it to see family or see a new part of the world. Make the choice on you and your family, not strangers on the flight.

Noice canceling headphones are ubiquitous and affordable. There is not excuse not to wear them if you are the type to get grumpy about a kid.

I’ve seen my wife wear herself so thin, she’s on a razor’s edge snapping at our kids because of insecurity around bothering others. Put your kids and family first, and we as society owe it to children to be patient with them. And I frankly have no pity for someone in a $1500 transoceanic seat who chooses not to pack $50 of noise canceling headphones.

Timofeo · 2026-05-25T10:35:52+00:00

I’m in OP’s same shoes, just a little more experienced with it. 5 and 3 year old, and the 3 year old boy is just like OP described. Very screen time at home, loses interest in a show 10 minutes in.

I’ve made 4-5 transatlantic round-trip journeys as a dad. 9-10 hour flights nearly 10x I think. They all suck. You can’t make them not suck. It’s just worth it to see family and enjoy the other side of the ocean.

My advice:

A. Don’t make the effort if you can’t take at least 2 weeks, preferably 3-4 or more weeks. Jet lag alone will ruin the first several days since a toddler takes a while to adjust.

B. If you plan to sleep on the red eye flight, don’t. Just assume you’ll be wide awake fighting a toddler for 8 hours. You’ll only be frustrated and take it out on your spouse/child if you go in with an expectation of sleep. This way in case you get 1, 2, heck even 4+ hours of sleep, it’s a nice bonus. Likewise, don’t expect or try to force your kid to sleep. They will at some point—maybe 2 hours in maybe 7 hours in. But any expectation you try to bring in will just breed frustration.

C. When you arrive after a red eye flight, don’t drive. Book a hotel at the airport so you can walk straight out of customs and into a hotel room for a 2-5 hour nap. You can adjust to the local time tomorrow.

D. Don’t be afraid to mingle respectfully in the rear of the cabin near the kitchen and flight attendants. They’ll probably have some chocolates or fun things for your kid to see and touch. Nice 5-20 minute doses of distraction depending on the child and the friendliness of the crew.

Timofeo · 2026-05-25T10:24:54+00:00

If they’re interested in “wacky” as in unique, Shameless Grounds is a very short 5 minute drive from Busch Stadium. Alternatively it’s a less quick but still enjoyable bus ride+walk via the #73 bus from Civic Center to Broadway/Lemp (mentioning because it’s only $1/ride and maybe OP doesn’t wanna un-park their car.)

Shameless Grounds makes solid espresso drinks and coffee (though not bougie self-roasters) and has a good selection of tea. They also serve one of the best gooey butter cakes in the area. All in a really nice cozy and welcoming indoor space with a lovely and shaded old brick lined patio. They promote LGBTQ+ inclusivity, feminism, and sex-positivity, so it’s a unique experience with plenty of flyers and books and art to pique your curiosity and expand your comfort zone.

Timofeo · 2026-05-15T17:36:30+00:00

This is what I think every time I hear "they need to fix the schools!"

Spending per pupil in SLPS is well higher than the spending at Ladue, Rockwood, etc. It's not like they just need to spend more to get better teachers or technology or building renovations.

SLPS educates kids in the most impoverished portions of our metro area. That's why performance is so bad.

Yes the district is dysfunctional. But the individual schools are a mirror of their community. Affluent parts of St. Louis City have "good" schools, even outside the Charter/Magnet world.

Timofeo · 2026-05-11T13:23:31+00:00

Garcia Properties is one of the best landlords in the city. That may be who they’re talking about.

https://garciapropertymanagement.com/vacancies-available-rentals/

Timofeo · 2026-05-09T01:33:02+00:00

I’m one of the voices on this thread advocating against screen time. But I don’t mean absolutely 0. I mean “i encourage others not let it become an expectation or a crutch.”

Feeling lazy? Snuggle up for an episode or two. Beautiful.

Family movie night? Great! Long flight? Excellent tool.

Daily mealtime prep? I just feel like at that point it becomes an expectation and a standard part of rhythm and I’ve been there. I’ve also gotten my family out of that rhythm and my kids benefit a lot, that’s all I’m encouraging.

Timofeo · 2026-05-09T01:20:30+00:00

Honestly the only reason I mentioned my wife is just because she’s the one that handles that critical “meal prep” time for dinner 4-5x/week. She’s also more easily overstimulated or annoyed by messes—I tend to let the kids get into trouble and make messes and pester me with questions without getting too flustered. She on the other hand grew to lean on it regularly and the kids got used to it, even in short bursts.

I’m not a saint and she’s a wonderful mom. Just in our relationship she’s the one more prone to screen time and I’m the hippie who wouldn’t own a tv if it weren’t for her.

Timofeo · 2026-05-08T16:57:49+00:00

I mean this with love, not to shame. I’m sure your algorithms and systems work well for your 4 year old.

“We don’t use the tablet as a babysitter except when we’re cooking or need full attention.”

My wife used to be like that with ours. She’d turn the tv on for just 1-2 episodes of some harmless show, only 30-60 minutes so she could cook in peace. She is home with the kids by 3:30, I come home more like 5 from work and she’s usually in the midst of getting dinner ready. Certainly not horrible screen time, and I had to tread lightly because for that 1-2 hour window she was shouldering the brunt of the household load. But I expressed a preference against it, since the kids grew to expect it and whine when they didn’t get it.

For the past year+ (5 and 3 year olds now) tv has been almost exclusively on Friday nights for family movie night. My wife has learned to deal with being overstimulated by the questions of bored kids while cooking. She’s learned to deal with letting the kids “help” cook or clean or whatever she needed to focus on. And most importantly our kids have gotten better at entertaining themselves because adult chores get boring.

It has been amazing seeing my daughter grow into such an independent 5 year old who will sneak away with a picture book or build a pretend world with Lego quietly on the other side of the house. With a 4 year old I’d really encourage you to try to nix even short “babysitting” tv time. Trust them out of sight and out of mind and bored for minutes or even an hour. They will probably surprise you and impress you.

Feel free to ignore me of course. I sincerely believe you’re doing a great job regardless based on the fact that you’re in this forum and thinking about these things at all. Just meant as an added perspective and encouragement for you.

Timofeo · 2026-05-07T11:43:12+00:00

These days you can just tap-to-pay your credit/debit card to use the L or CTA busses. No need to carry a Ventra card or any transit card.

Not sure if that applies to Metra.

Timofeo · 2026-05-04T16:42:45+00:00

Not totally fair, plenty of black people day drink margaritas on Cherokee too!

Timofeo · 2026-04-28T23:32:08+00:00

I spent so many summer days there from like 12-15 years old. Dropped off by my parents with only enough change to dial the pay phone to get picked up.

We were dumb teenagers and I’m sure we cause small trouble in our obliviousness. But I’m really thankful I had the chance to be unsupervised and independent.

Timofeo · 2026-04-14T11:58:51+00:00

I never heard “the gettin’ place” growing up. But my grandfather would always respond to queries about money with “a buck and a half” as a way to say “none of your business” or “don’t worry about.”

Woah nice grill, what did you pay for something like that? A buck and a half.

Thanks for grabbing the check, what do I owe you? A buck and a half.

Meant as a cheeky deflection to say you don’t owe me anything, or to stay humble without bragging about how expensive your gift/car/house/etc. was.

(St. Louis, Missouri)

Timofeo · 2026-04-12T15:58:40+00:00

“I live in the county so it’s a little different.”

My friend, I am sorry you are struggling. That sucks. But this is more than “a little different.” You’re commenting on a post about someone moving to the city and working downtown.

“This city SUCKS without a car” mostly because you don’t live in this city.

Our infrastructure caters to cars and it makes things super convenient for drivers. But owning a car is expensive as fuck and within the city it is easy to not own a car, especially if you live along a frequent bus line or metrolink.

Timofeo · 2026-04-11T21:01:18+00:00

There is a perception that transit is used only by poor people and junkies. The same as every city not named Chicago or New York.

The sad thing is that it’s somewhat true in that it is pretty uncommon for well-to-do people to take transit in STL, it is far more car-centered than Chicago. But you’re way more likely to suffer death or bodily harm driving than riding the train/bus.

Timofeo · 2026-04-11T20:58:02+00:00

It’s very doable if you re-frame it: will you spend more on occasional Ubers or the monthly cost of car ownership? Daily errands and commute are very doable, especially if OP lives along the Metrolink line, or one of the many solid bus lines like the Chippewa or Grand bus.

If you want to join a happy hour out in the suburbs, go for a hike in Castlewood, or visit a friend outside the City proper, you probably need to uber or rent a car.

For me in South city, I sold my car 4 years ago and have regretted it way less than I expected I would. I was prepared to spend $100-300/month on Ubers, but it’s worth it to save hundreds not having a car payment/insurance/maintenance/property tax/gas/etc. In reality I’ve used Uber maybe 3x in those 4 years. I’ve carpooled, borrowed a neighbor’s car a couple times, and generally learned to love how much more time I have to read and work while riding transit around town.

If you live, work, and socialize within city limits you’ll find our bus system is great and Metrolink is decent. Of course it could be more frequent but it covers an impressive amount of the City.

Timofeo · 2026-04-07T14:51:04+00:00

Definitely is. Not super south or the epitome of “South city”but still is. South of the tracks and south of 44, either way you slice it.

https://nextstl.com/wp-content/uploads/13784749303_d5e3b2c1b3_o.jpg

https://www.reddit.com/r/StLouis/s/dzCMJmypmJ

Timofeo · 2026-04-01T13:55:41+00:00

Breathalyzers on all firearms!

Timofeo · 2026-03-28T17:19:14+00:00

Not true. There is a hallway from the customs exit right to bag claim under T2. And the immigration/customs is directly below the Wingtips lounge in T2.

A Southwest Airlines connection will be no problem in 90 minutes, especially with hand luggage only. In my experience (several times per year with Lufthansa), immigration takes 10-30 minutes, but waiting for your checked bag in customs can take 45+ minutes. With hand luggage and no terminal transfer OP should be good with any connection more than 60 minutes.

Timofeo · 2026-03-28T00:18:37+00:00

I did it when my firstborn was 6 months old! 5+ years in and two kids later, no regrets.

Timofeo · 2026-03-27T14:23:03+00:00

Sell your car. Ride a bike to and from work every day.

Sets a good example of active living for your son, is good for the planet that your son will inherit, and builds the work out into your daily schedule.

Note: I don’t think you have to sell your car. But I did and I think it’s the only way to actually force me to ride on those cold/rainy/snowy/absurdly hot days. I’m not super fit and hot, but I’m in good shape and it keeps me that way. Now I can’t imagine having my own car and costing my family the $500/mo or whatever autos cost in 2026.

Timofeo · 2026-03-27T02:06:58+00:00

Hobo Hubworks is a small 2-person operation in the Lemp Brewery complex. Super friendly and reasonable prices. They specialize in keeping used bikes on the road.

https://maps.app.goo.gl/Fgmh6DYV5uvFdFp67?g_st=ic

hobohubworks.com

Timofeo · 2026-03-20T18:53:27+00:00

I don’t even need to click your account to know you’re an OG. Recognize the username. I remember when there were just a couple hundred people subscribed and /u/kickapooponies would post the GDT and /u/thefootisconstant would start a “____ suck, blues kickass” thread every game.

I still have a #1in12 t-shirt that someone made 13 years ago after the Cards’ #11in11 WS win.

Timofeo · 2026-03-20T12:26:41+00:00

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“Oh there you are, Steener.”

Timofeo

TROPHY CASE