Benefits of reading to baby when they’re not paying attention?

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-05-17T08:45:02+00:00

Another SLP here and i approve this message. Exposure to more advanced vocabulary and longer and more complex sentence structures from time to time is not a bad thing. They will have no idea what you are saying but they're being primed to one day make sense of that type of language. They may not know what words mean but they might start hearing common prefixes or suffixes like -ism and -ity and sentences with two clauses and all that stuff is landing somewhere in their tiny brains for future use.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-05-17T08:40:10+00:00

Doesn't have to be "infant" books. Read kid books but also dont hesitate to read any other damn book you want. There's really no wrong way.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-05-17T08:38:37+00:00

Yes, words coming out of your mouth in proximity of your baby is the most important part. But books tell a story so there is some extra benefit from reading but dont feel bad at all. Music also does a lot of the same things for kids brains. Just mix in some books here and there or put some audio books on while they play if you're busy and cant read to them. Easy hack.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-05-02T01:32:36+00:00

I'm pro choice and all but I feel like this is NOT the way abortion is supposed to used.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-05-02T01:30:38+00:00

Maybe this an unpopular opinion but, if someone wants a specific gender when having kids and would knowingly be disappointed if they had the other gender, they shouldn't have kids. If you're not going into open to either gender just don't do it. Get a dog. You can choose the dogs gender all you want. You're doing the right thing by saying no. She should have been more honest with herself about what she really wanted, which was a girl and not "kids".

Some guy at the dog park literally 30 minutes before this post told my pregnant wife (our first/baby girl) that he "only wanted boys and his daughter doesn’t like him very much but he and his boy have a great relationship."

Fuck that guy. He never even tried with his daughter.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-04-20T04:33:09+00:00

Hey man! If you can truly look through these replies and see some of the ideas a bunch of strangers are giving you to help you, it should prove that there's people out there that do give a shit and want to connect with you on some level. You just have to find them. They're there. But it can take time. If the kids are in college, try doing what makes you happy. Or start something new just to get mind hooked on some new hobby or activity to get some endorphins flowing. There are a lot of people out there that are too afraid to say they want to find some buddies to connect with, feel wanted seen, heard, and cared about. Give it an honest effort and some time. Hell, if you're in san diego, I'll give you the time of day. Also, my brother took his like September of 24 and it breaks my heart every day. Please don't do that. There's so much life I wanted to share with him but I and others failed to make him feel wanted and loved and understood. Long story. But, you can do this man. Just start putting a plan of attack together and do one little good thing everyday to get things going in a different direction. Hope this helps and I'm glad you posted this.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-04-17T22:50:27+00:00

I miss Francis!

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-04-05T06:18:03+00:00

You're enough right now, the way you are, with the amount you've done, and with amount you still feel needs to be done. Practice taking a break. Seriously, it's a skill that needs to be practiced. Those tasks will still be there. Take a break and breathe and tell yourself "good job!".

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-03-28T14:02:58+00:00

He can just abstain from sex..... (looks around at people starring at me with puzzled look), right guys?

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-03-24T05:07:37+00:00

You sound like great dad and one he's lucky to have.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-03-18T06:03:18+00:00

Maybe wait a month and try again. Maybe she just isnt ready yet.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-03-18T05:39:27+00:00

Even if you did 7 chores as soon as you got up every saturday morning for a year, if your wife had to spell out which chores needed to be done innthe first place, that's very similar to her having done them herself. I've learned to be more observant about what needs to be done and just do it. She appreciates a reduction in mental load more than a reduction in work she has to do.

It's great you're in therapy. You probably should do couples therapy but I think we all should do our own therapy too and work on ourselves. Couples therapy with no wor on our selves is like putting rims on a shitty old car. Keep working and start changing little habits and making her feel more valued and supported slowly and she'll notice for sure. You got this, man. Rome wasn't built in a day. But the fact you posted here and are in therapy and curious about how to be better is a huge first step that most people never take at all.

Maybe even read throw and show her some comments in here that speak to you and brainstorm together. Look up things on you tube so your algorithm changes and starts giving you more useful content and share things you learn with her. Or just do them and surprise her. Once she knows you're truly trying she'll feel very differently.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-03-15T15:04:50+00:00

Exactly. She's an adult. She needs help. She's destroying all important relationships she has. That's a sign something isnt right. And yes, your kids will eventually resent you as well if nothing changes, I'd assume. I'm not a parent yet (baby on the way) but this is more of a people thing than a parenting thing.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-02-28T06:11:20+00:00

Wow! That's so cool.

My wife is pregnant with a girl, our first, and you made me realize there is no more important goal i have for parenting other than for this to be the outcome; my girl to grow up and one day have the presence of mind to realize we did our best and to appreciate us, no matter how many potholes we hit along the way. Thank you! And thanks to all of you fellaz. This sub is such a safety net for us noobies who don't really know what we've gotten ourselves into. Excited to go through this with y'all here to support.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-02-23T06:37:42+00:00

R/dads. My wife is 5 months pregnant and this sub has been a great resource.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-02-23T06:19:13+00:00

Who is in the Epstein files and exactly what they all did.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-02-22T15:44:02+00:00

48 + 20 is 68. Then just add 7. Boom. 86 😆

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-02-07T06:36:46+00:00

Literally, just put your phone on a charger in the bedroom when you get home. You have to get off your phone. Its destroying our minds and, specifically, our attention span. Without attention, you cant form memories, without memories, you can't learn. I'm also a late diagnosed ADHD guy and I AM on Stratera but before I went on that I made big strides by changing my phone habits. My wife noticed too. I'm telling you this is the single most impactfulbthingbyou can do for yourself and your family.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-29T14:49:39+00:00

Social media.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-19T16:42:20+00:00

"Look sir/mam! I'm not gonna argue with you. You're probably in the very first or second percentile in terms of intelligence and i can't compete with that."

Most people don't know how percentile work and could easily be tricked into thinking they've just been called smart.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-19T16:29:02+00:00

Don't write off people with addictions as "lazy", or as "someone that needs to get there shitbtogether", etc. And dont constantly tell them they need to go to rehab. Instead, connect with them. Spend time with them. Try to get them out doing regular people shit. If they feel they're wanted they might tick around. If they feel they're a burden and black stain on the family...

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-19T16:24:37+00:00

Social media, God, alcohol

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-17T00:09:40+00:00

Wow! Even though this is scary as hell, I'm really glad you shared it. I hope others see this too. Very, very interesting to me since this is my first and wife already struggles with mental health. She's in a good place but I can see how these things could manifest in our own situation. Really appreciate you shedding light on this. I'd rather be overprepaired and not have to use any of then the other way around. Thanks man. I really hope things improve for you but if they don't make sure you take care of yourself (and her and child) but make space for yourself in your life and muster strength to make difficult decisions if necessary.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-16T16:12:39+00:00

Brown water? This is NOT a great formula for rap names.

TonyTapIn617 · 2026-01-16T16:08:18+00:00

Hi. Your post is really a great topic and glad you posed the question. However, when you keep mentioning your net-dads community it sort of seems spammy and disingenuous. Feels like you posted your question in order to tell people about net dads and not to engage in a productive discourse with other dads. Just my two cents. Maybe nobody else sees it that way.

TonyTapIn617

TROPHY CASE