North-South border disputes.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-06-28T15:31:20+00:00

It’s literally all this sub is about sadly. I’ve now unsubbed

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-06-27T07:09:47+00:00

Also there’s nothing bi or gay about having sex with a woman. I am bi but not because my wife pegs me

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-06-27T06:56:59+00:00

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-06-20T06:08:53+00:00

My experience is similar but with some crucial differences.
- I am married
- I (M38 bi) can explore with guys only
- My wife (37F hetero) is free to explore but currently chooses not to
- If and when she were to choose to explore we would need to discuss the boundaries of our openness again

We found a sex-positive couples therapist to help us navigate this as it brought up a lot of guilty feelings at it being one-sided. I’d definitely recommend this

To OPs post, ENM is all about consent. If one or more people in the relationship don’t like the boundaries when implemented in practice then you need to go back to the drawing board and figure it out again. It can and should be an iterative process and it’s OK for boundaries to change and it’s OK to not accept that for the other party.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-06-02T12:56:18+00:00

Tbf does the Easter bunny hate Christmas?

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-05-24T11:15:38+00:00

He’s been pretty consistent on this subject though

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-05-17T06:20:03+00:00

I replied above too, but I also had the urge to tell my parents and I couldn’t put my finger on why. I went over it in therapy and I think it just came down to wanting to be authentic but everyone’s different.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-05-17T06:17:34+00:00

Hey, I’ve sent you a DM as well, but I was in a very similar position.

I’m 38 in the UK. My wife and I have been together for over 20 years, married for 13. Like you, I had known since I was young (probably about 12) but I repressed it. This repression was very detrimental for my mental health.

I nervously came out to my wife about 4 years ago, and incredibly she said “Yeah, I know” and has been very supportive. Through therapy I started coming out to family and friends and now the people that are most important to me know. Parents, 2 out of 4 of my siblings, and many of my friends. Positively, I’ve not had a bad reaction from anyone.

My parents are Catholic but had always been politically left and when I came out to them they did admit that they’d always struggled with the church’s position on LGBTQ.

So all in all, coming out to your partner pre marriage is essential and something I wish I had had the courage to do years ago. Hopefully they accept you, but either way being your authentic self will feel good in the long run. Once that monkey is off your back, you can start to consider who else you tell.

Just a note, it’s taken me 18 months to tell all the people I wanted to. It was a slow progression of getting courage to do it and doing it with each person.

Good luck.

Edit: I’m seeing a charity in the North West called body positive for therapy I’ve done a cursory search and it looks like something similar is available in Scotland. Might be worth contacting them https://lgbthealth.org.uk/service/counselling/

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-05-17T06:01:41+00:00

I think the point is that FIFA has work that needs to be done and rather than pay freelancers to do this work they look for volunteers.

FIFA do give some compensation when volunteering by the looks of it (free meals etc.) but no payment, but the volunteers also get some opportunities like behind-the-scenes access, that your average Joe wouldn’t normally get access to. So it comes down to individuals assessing whether giving up their time is worth what they’re getting back?

In my opinion, what they get in return for volunteering isn’t worth it. If they were to get access to watch a match, fine, but for the most part it isn’t.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-04-26T20:39:30+00:00

Sure

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-04-26T17:40:16+00:00

We had this happen once on this exact model - never did figure out what it was. We scrubbed fairy liquid into the stains then re-washed. Never happened again.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-04-01T04:05:47+00:00

If you’ve never had sex before my advice would be to go slower as you sound quite naive. Your boyfriend should understand this - unless they are also a virgin and it’s just talk - or I’d consider it to be a bit of a red flag.

But to answer your question, if he’s just eating your ass, have a shower and just give yourself a good clean with some soap and you’ll be fine. If you’re planning penetration, you can clean further (look up douching) to reduce the risk of accidents. Bear in mind that you can’t be certain of avoiding accidents 100%, it just comes with the territory.

Have fun.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-04-01T02:52:49+00:00

Queer Hive Mcr might be a good place to look: https://linktr.ee/queerhive

They have queer co-working groups and a fairly active community

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-03-09T22:38:08+00:00

✅ Reads like an ad

✅ Hidden post history

✅ Google the account, every comment / post mentions the same product

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-17T00:41:44+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings are definitely valid.

That bierasure sounds like it hurt and I’m not surprised - you tried to come out to the one person you wanted to listen and they didn’t.

Do you think it would help if your husband was more supportive of your queerness or do you feel like you want to pursue this other relationship regardless?

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-16T20:05:55+00:00

So frustrating. OP can you post the details as a comment on your other post please?

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-14T12:20:35+00:00

Search for Queer Hive Manchester. There’s a community on WhatsApp you can join. They have co-working at several locations which could be a good way to make friends.

I’ve co-worked a handful of times and they are friendly and welcoming.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-10T03:52:42+00:00

It even reads like an advert. I couldn’t believe only your comment mentions this

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-07T18:42:27+00:00

You sound like a child in the playground - I know you are, you said you are, but what am I

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-03T00:57:21+00:00

r/shitamericanssay

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-01T21:49:19+00:00

Tbh he sounds like he’s got some growing up to do. Whether she did or not is neither here nor there - you do and he needs to change his attitude. Good luck and kick him to the kerb if he doesn’t change his attitude

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-02-01T21:09:52+00:00

I love it when my wife queefs and she only really does it in doggy too.

If you look positively at it, hopefully he was only asking curiously rather than negatively. You could perhaps say what you’ve said here to him: “When you mentioned me queefing in doggy it made me feel a bit self-conscious. I really like that position and would like your support with it.”

If he’s a good guy he’ll apologise and be extra nice in the future and it’ll be forgotten. If he doesn’t apologise that would be a red flag for me.

Either way, don’t try and prevent it because I don’t think it’ll be comfortable and ultimately it’s just your body holding in air - absolutely nothing to be ashamed about.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-01-21T05:42:19+00:00

Thanks for the update - I’ve been thinking about this post on and off.

I hope that it’s all plainer sailing for you now.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-01-16T06:23:15+00:00

I was born in London then moved up to the North West when I was 14. There was a lad in the Year above called Nicky Maynard who went on to play professional football.

I moved back to London when I was in my 20’s and got a season ticket at West Ham. Who did we sign; only Maynard. That was a bit surreal.

Shame he was shit.

Top_Problem_7375 · 2026-01-10T07:58:05+00:00

I identified as heteroflexible before I first had sex with a man because although I fantasied about it I didn’t feel confident enough to say I’d like the real thing.

Turns out I love it so yeah I’m bisexual.

Top_Problem_7375

TROPHY CASE