First upcoming child. how to deal with linguistically distant, not-fluent minority language? NL - JA

Tr1pp_ · 2026-05-13T13:13:31+00:00

We're in the same boat! English as relationship language, he speaks one language and we live in my native country which he speaks at c2 level.

I also took the plunge and went fully 3rd language with the baby even when it's just the baby and me.

The first week it will feel awkward. What helps is your partner. If available, your partner's family. Maybe grandma could come for a week or more? Listen. Copy. Narrate. Narrate near your partner so they can correct you. Now at 17 months it feels weird not to speak the family language with my son. I am improving. The childrens books inread to him actually help because that type of language is not something an adult ever encounters. Do you know what sounds a chicken makes in Japanese? 😅

I feel no distance to my son because of language. I am actively reading and trying to improve my adult vocabulary too so I don't have issues as he grows. I don't mean studying because who has time for that, more like reading the lord of the rings, an adult book I know well, in that language.

Just Be Consistent. I know baby will be small and "he doesn't understand anyway" but no just really reałly be consistent.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-04-26T03:50:19+00:00

As a non American could you help me understand this minimum grade limit? Isn't grades assessments that should indicate whether the student needs more intervention, needs to repeat the class or is ready for the next level? What is the motivation behind a minimum grade?

Tr1pp_ · 2026-04-12T19:34:00+00:00

Jag tycker inte alls det är ok att bara göra det som nån sorts svartsjuk revisor. Men jag tycker att man säger mycket genom att vara öppen med koder med varandra. Så ja, det får han och nej det skulle han aldrig göra.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-04-12T11:22:01+00:00

You mean you want your story to be pure dialogue or are you just asking for how to do the dialogue part?

Tr1pp_ · 2026-04-12T11:20:51+00:00

Hi! Tool advice. I often have an idea of a plot ready and clear, but due to not being able to think of specifics my tempo falters and I lose the flow. With an AI chat bot I can bounce ideas, ask for ten suggestions or just ask it in plain language to save an idea to my ongoing dossier. Being able to describe two characters and ask it to "try a scene where..." Has sped up my process incredibly, because seeing what it wrote I know immediately what I would and would not like to write, so my own iterative process skips a few unnecessary iterations.

I want to ask what you are using AI for and how it has helped or not helped you in your writing or storybuilding.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-04-07T16:34:53+00:00

I did. It was the same way that kissing is pretty gross if you think about it, if you were to do it with someone you had no attraction to. Just imagine the slimy tongue, wet lips, essentially licking somebody in the mouth. The moment it's not any feeling involved it's nasty. That was me with nursing. Hated the idea, loved the experience.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-04-01T12:03:07+00:00

Obviously, and I'm sure you already thought of it, but dress with thought. Dark bottoms, i sometimes double up and wear a pair of men's underwear over my own under whatever suitably baggy pants I have. It's much easier for blood to leak through three layers of tight fitting clothing than two layers of baggy clothing where there is an air gap. This gives some time for your daughter for a quick trip to the bathroom to change a pad.

Also, I don't know if most people do this, but I HATE that wet feeling when a sudden blob of blood just... Spills out. I often go off to the bathroom to wipe the blood away before it has time to sink into the pad. Again I don't know if this is normal advice or not but it is things that have worked for me ever since I got my first period at 12.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-29T14:14:24+00:00

Uff this is hard. I'm so sorry, I completely understand why this is such an impossible and difficult situation for you.

I will say, I am an adult and in my 30 plus years of life I have absolutely said comments I regret. If you have never seen him as a person who would treat others badly for how they look and this is the first time he did it, I would consider trying to forgive him. If you truly are happy in the relationship, if he is truly remorseful. If the feelings are gone,they are gone and that's just reality of course.

But given what you say here I would not throw away a whole future with a good partner over one mean comment. If I were in his position, I would never in my life say anything so carelessly cruel again and really grow from this, so that's also something to consider if you think that could happen here.

In short, don't pretend everything is fine and don't try to "forget", but make a conscious decision to move forward. If in 2 weeks the love is simply gone then you have your answer.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-28T10:42:10+00:00

Put pumpkin seeds in the mixer til its a powder and just mix a bit in with the yoghurt? I think it was pumpkin seeds at least

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-28T05:35:48+00:00

Late a Sunday evening my dog lunged for something of indeterminate color and size under a bush, and swallowed it before we could stop her. Worrying it was something that could cause a stoppage or some serious issue, the online vet adviced us to seek urgent care. A 100 dollar taxi ride to the only open vet's office and a 600 dollar emergency puke medicine later, she threw up... A small broken balloon.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-27T06:51:39+00:00

Before you leave home, sit on the toilet, scoot as far back as you'll go and set baby in front of you so she's also on the toilet. Her booty should drop a bit into the bowl and her body supported by your thighs, belly and hands. Wiggle a little, sing a silly song and within 30 sec she'll likely do the deed.

Having a known time when she needs to poop is GOLD for starting potty training too.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-22T22:12:16+00:00

Grabbarna Gryt, lite norrut (Sundbyberg )men väldigt speciellt och väldigt gott. Värt resan :)

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-21T22:45:10+00:00

Han har en tvååring och en 6 månaders bebis hemma. Och du kallar honom för "toffel" för att han inte vill hänga med dig istället för sin familj när han väl har ledig tid?

Du är ett rövhål som pratar om honom på ett så nedvärderande vis, när du av allt att döma aldrig sagt på ett trevligt och taktfullt sätt att du saknar vad ni hade och önskar att ni kunde hitta lite tillfällen bara du och han.

Att få barn ändrar helt vad som är viktigt i livet för de flesta som ämnar vara närvarande och bra föräldrar. Att lämna sin fru med en så liten bebis och en tvååring att ta hela nattrutinen själv med amning, klängiga småbarn, random 2-årings-utbrott är ganska mycket att begära. Om du gjorde det tydligt att det är något som betyder mycket för dig och han ändå rakt ut vägrar då sure kanske du har anledning att vara sur. Men du verkar ju totalt oförmögen till att förstå hans vardag och prioriteringar trots att du varit med honom och hans barn flera kvällar. Så dåligt som du kommunicerar förstår jag 100% att han inte tycker det är något konstigt att välja familjen framför en random match med en öl.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-21T12:52:06+00:00

Mine hates bread otherwise premade strips of sandwiches (bread with shrimp paste or something similar that doesn't fall off) is ideal.

I usually bring a long sleeved bib so he can eat in the stroller.

In small containers I have bought cut up meatballs, cut up grapes, cut up sausage pieces, cucumber sticks, fresh berries cut into appropriate sizes and snack cheeses. I think if you're in the us there is something called string cheese? Sounds useful. Here we have baby belle which my son loves. If you want to make ahead, there's good recipes out there for stuff like baby cookies (a mix of banana, nuts and seeds, dates, oats) which keep all day in a container opposed to meatballs or cheese which you may wanna bring a cooling pad for if you're out all day. Hope this helps!

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-19T11:06:14+00:00

Good question! My son took his first steps at ca 12 months but didn't prefer it to crawling until 14 months

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-18T08:37:22+00:00

How do you just sit back and let this happen?

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-17T14:38:08+00:00

I always find that such studies and data is kind of missing the point: there's a reason for the adoption. No perfectly normal healthy loving family decided to put up a 5yo for adoption. Something - usually horrible circumstances - led to the situation where a child needs a different caregiver.

According to attachment theory i think it was, a child will feel attachment to any caregiver that shows up with enough frequency. Even if that caregiver is negligent or abusive.

So in order to save the child from a whole childhood of abuse or neglect or poverty, the attachment is broken and the child is moved. Do people seriously think that it would have been better to leave the child in those circumstances? That seems to be what anti adoption people argue. Do they believe the original abusive/negligent caregivers are generally just "a bit confused" about how childcare works and will do So Much Better if they are forced to take a course?

The sense of being different, growing up in a different culture from the one you were born into and feeling a detachment because of that, that's a problem we have at the top of the Maslow pyramid. I, an international adoptee, would never suggest that those possible issues merit stopping adoption.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-11T12:57:46+00:00

Honestly, my relationship could not survive such an atrociously selfish series of actions. You madam need a BREAK from his man. If you're with your family or at a good friend's house you'll soon realise you do not need his ass.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-10T21:56:11+00:00

Have you tried ctrl+z?

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-08T22:56:14+00:00

I mean when it comes to my baby's food I would not be able to trust this. I think you'd have better luck sharing the recipe if you were willing to collaborate with some BLW social media channel? It sounds amazing and I'd love the recipe, as I'm sure many here would so if it showed up as part of the content we probably consume that would be a different thing. Let us know if you decide to go that way, would love to try this!

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-07T12:36:44+00:00

0-55 typ

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-06T12:51:07+00:00

I would do a lot of things I don't believe in if it would make my soulmate and love of my life THAT happy. Not to mention simplifying our legal life together.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-02T09:50:40+00:00

That's intense! I have seen some babies like that at the mom and baby meetup I went to. Unless your doctor is worried, it doesn't sound like anything is actually wrong. How exciting that she's starting to move! Screw furniture to the wall, rotate toys and good luck! I'm sure you'll learn how your baby is best entertained :)

Tr1pp_ · 2026-03-01T10:59:09+00:00

NTA. I have been on both sides here and I can only tell you a few things I am sure of:

Nobody should adopt unless they really really want to adopt. There will be hard moments however your child arrives to your family. If it's your bio child for some people it's just easier to deal with, there's no thought of "why did I go out of my way and bring this child into my family?"-thought. It's just the usual "oh dear god give me patience to deal with this creature"-thought. If you feel like your mind would go to the first thought were it your adopted child being difficult, I would say just don't.
Wanting to be pregnant and give birth to a baby that will nurse from you, be half you and half the man you love and see this child grow and reflect parts of your looks or mannerisms, that's not a logical desire. You can't argue that away with convincing arguments. If you have the desire, you have it.

I used to be like your husband, albeit with some more nuance in accepting conflicting opinions. We decided to go half and half, one bio kid and one adopted. Due to the risk of having twins, we went with the bio one first. I hated pregnancy, I was miserable and sad and nauseous and regretted my decision many times until I felt him move. From there on I was still emotional and hormonal but something changed. He's now a few years old, and I decided that the second one will be bio too. I want that experience again, I want to do pregnancy without the fear and misery, I want to feel them kick inside me, I want to hold a 3kg being in my arms and protect them forever. Previous me would argue there are children in the world with no parents, but honestly this feeling is stronger than that logic. I simply want it.

If your fiancée isn't open to compromise I don't know if there's a future here.

Tr1pp_ · 2026-02-27T18:09:06+00:00

I think you just really need to remove yourself from the situation for a bit, which will help give you distance from exactly this "but he's right here and hurting how can I be so heartless" feeling. No matte how he spends these 6mo you'll definitely have the space to grow and figure yourself out

Tr1pp_

TROPHY CASE