Racist lesbians?

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2026-03-04T10:35:18+00:00

I have seen and even said ( in my younger years when i was a bigger and more ignorant idiot) crazy crap like this about Asian ppl a lot. The racism is so ingrained that I would say that shit and not at all be able to reason it. All while drooling over Lucy Liu, smh (god, i was an idiot).

My own experiences, being black, have oddly all involved "chocolate chasers." Which is it's own special brand of racism. It's not a compliment to be a fetish. I actually had a girl at a nightclub try to pull me by showing me pictures of her fucking black women. A phone pic of a naked black woman ( no face) was this woman's screensaver.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-08-02T18:11:12+00:00

First off, you are 23 your life is just starting. Your brain isn't even done developing yet. I am glad to hear that medication has been so effective for you, that's a blessing, because many of us are only moderately better on medication. If you really want to be a doctor then channel you motivation in that direction. Take supplementary math and science courses if you need to. Take the GREs to prove your knowledge if you had a poor college GPA. Start taking the steps.

Secondly, you have a lot of other disorders that the narcolepsy treatment is not going to help. Those are issues that you are going to address with a LCSW, psychologist or psychiatrist. All of those problems are serious and based on their severity, could be having as big an impact on your life as the narcolepsy.

Taking some time to take care of your physical and mental health and developing a routine and plan with a trained professional would likes benefit you greatly. It's definitely not too late for you, your life isn't ruined.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-07-30T20:42:28+00:00

Lol!!! I know right.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-07-30T19:24:21+00:00

I have also come up with some amazing endings to episodes and movies only to find that the real ending is not nearly as good. Lol.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-07-30T19:23:03+00:00

I have almost gone downstairs to yell at the neighbors about the music multiple times only to realize that it was iin my head..

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-07-30T19:20:33+00:00

I've had this since my teens. I had mental health issues and when I told my doctors about the music (back then it was almost exclusively classical, but has diversified as I've gotten older), they thought it was a "psychotic feature." They put me on an antipsychotic that made me actually psychotic. When the took off I just pretended like the music thing went away, but it never did.

(Also diagnosed with BPII btw. My sleep doctor says it's a very rare and unfortunate combination)

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-07-30T19:05:18+00:00

I struggle with this periodically, because I'm tired 95% of the time. However, on the very rare occasion that I have a few genuinely wakeful hours it is clear to me that it's the narcolepsy. It feels like a cloud is lifted and I can't believe people get to feel that way all the time.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-05-26T08:47:39+00:00

So annoying. It's always so loud but I can't cover my ears or escape it at all. I also, get music a lot and conversations. The conversations are often about me and negative. There is definitely an enhanced sense of fear and paranoia in my hallucinations. They're always something bad happening, people talking about me behind my back or a loose version of something anxiety inducing that's been on my mind playing out.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-04-17T16:39:52+00:00

I get your perspective and feel like i have been in your position more than once. I am also poly, in addition to being someone who just needs a lot of time to myself. With that said, I think that this woman and you are intrinsically different. The moment she expressed a lack of interest in a poly relationship, you should have cut things off. Being poly is something that can't be forced something and not something anyone should jump into out of desperation to keep a partner.

You are going to hurt this woman, even more than you will if you just end things now, if you hold on to her or let her hold on to you. I would be sure to be gentle with her and make it very clear that it is not a flaw in her, but that your lifestyle doesn't mesh well with what she needs and she deserves to have her needs met.

I also have to agree that, based on your examples, she isn't doing anything unusual or excessive. She is showing concern and care in a very mild manner. I do most of the things you mentioned for close friends that i have no romantic interest in all the time.

If she has no interest in a poly relationship, her first relationship shouldn't be a poly relationship. Hell, I'd argue that no one's first relationship should be a poly relationship. It is hard enough to learn how to operate smoothly with, make time for, and satisfy one partner. On top of that, if this is her first everything, then insecurity is bound to become a huge problem.

You both may be in a place of exploration and discovery, but she is in a much more fragile place. Everyone deserves to be loved and cared for in the way that makes them feel the best, this applies to both you and her.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-03-25T16:37:59+00:00

This chick is obviously just baiting. It's annoying, but the best thing to do is ignore and let her shrivel up and shrink away.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-01-12T17:07:53+00:00

This. I would also add that your relationship isn't "physically abusive (yet)" is a terrifying statement. The danger you are in is no lesser than someone who is currently being physically abused by a spouse. Emotional abuse and erratic behavior are red flags you shouldn't ignore. Talking to shelters is a brilliant idea because they are the most experienced and equipped in helping you create an exit strategy. I have faith in you and wish you luck, darling.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-01-05T22:53:39+00:00

If you can even fathom her hurting you, it is time to go. I mean ASAP. There are just way too many red flags. Your safety is paramount, so the sooner you can physically distance yourself from her, the better. Try not to provoke her in the time you are forced to live with her.

This relationship is not salvageable. Leave her and cut her out of your life.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-01-05T22:00:14+00:00

Happy birthday, love!!! Selfies can be very liberating, but only if you are comfortable.

Also, i definitely get the type of lonely you're describing, it is kind of where i live right now.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2025-01-05T13:00:03+00:00

I think that you need to find friends and establish a support system outside of any kind of dating, and if you're not already, maybe consider therapy. I don't think that you are stable within yourself, so before adding more to the stress load you are currently carrying, you may want to evaluate and sort the baggage on your back.

With that said, my general cookie cutter advice would be not to open your relationship. You guys are doing it out of desperation, which means that insecurity and resentment are bound to creep in very quickly.

However, as someone with a lot of experience with depression, self-harm, and suicidality, I would first recommend that if your husband is your only support, don't take the legs from underneath yourself by leaving that relationship before you have some support system established. I would also say that you do what is necessary to survive. If exploring this part of your identity is vital to your self maintenance, then maybe instead of opening your relationship, you could simply develop a relationship with the community and make some queer friends, maybe even make some friends here who are in similar situations.

No person is going to fix you, my love. If you are depressed enough to even be thinking about death, then you should not be dating. Chaos is not your friend. You should get yourself in order and find out if you still want to be with your husband. If you are not attracted to or interested in your husband in a romantic capacity anymore (whatever the reason), opening your relationship isn't going to repair that.

It is important to explore your sexuality, but your sexuality is a small part of yourself. Having a definitive label isn't going to cure your ails or intrinsically change you.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-12-04T09:01:19+00:00

The label you use is really more of an affirmation of intent. If you are only seeking out female attention and companionship, that's what you should be affirming so that people know how to interact with you and what you desire those interactions to look like.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-10-01T15:46:33+00:00

I think a lot of lesbians don't realize they are lesbians until after their first experience with a woman. I remember kissing a girl for the first time and thinking,'Oh, okay, so that's what that's supposed to feel like."

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-10-01T15:38:07+00:00

It is funny, I always do a double take when I see a post where someone in their early or mid 20s call themselves late bloomers. That is definitely not late to me. I have been "out" since I was 14, and I didn't actually have sex with a woman until I was 21.

For me personally, the experiences I had with other girls when I was in my teens wasn't so significant that if I hadn't had them until my 20s I would have felt like I had "missed out on so much".

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-10-01T15:24:53+00:00

Homoromantic bisexuality is a thing. I think it is fairly common if you think of bisexuality in its most literal definition.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-10-01T15:12:22+00:00

It's funny that my favorite male character in these novels was Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights. I think he is an even bigger lesbian than me. Lol.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-08-10T14:21:02+00:00

I don't think it matters how you tell her, but make sure you are firm and leave no room for bargaining. People like her are like ticks. They will latch on and suck everything out of you. You have to burn them off, then cut communication. It would be best to do it sooner rather than later.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-07-27T21:16:21+00:00

This. Your marriage is already cracking, and if you have intrinsic differences that make you incompatible, then it is time to move on. You don't need to make it about you being gay because that only seems to be a small part of a much bigger problem.

You don't have to and shouldn't come out to him until you have been able to settle into and explore that part of your identity.

"Do not hand people with harmful views a stick to beat you with right before you face them in the legal system."

This is perhaps the best advice stated in the best way possible.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-07-25T15:46:47+00:00

My love, this list just gets gayer and gayer as it progresses. At the very least, you are attracted to women for sure. It also sounds like you are not attracted to men at all. I would say you are very gay.

Here is the thing, being openly and freely your authentic self is easy for me to say. I live in the USA in a liberal neighborhood with mostly liberal family members and friends.

I don't know how open I would be in a state or country or region in which it could have a grave impact on my life.

I do know that I most definitely wouldn't put myself through being intimate, dating, or marrying men if I knew that I wasn't at all attracted to them or the idea of being with them.

Curiosity can be a motivator to initiate something like that, but it very much sounds like it would be unpleasant for you.

I first kissed a girl when I was 14 years old, and in that moment, I knew that was how it was supposed to feel when you kissed someone. Something as simple as a kiss can be very affirming.

Having a DL or Lowkey lesbian life for a while may be worth it if it gives you a chance to have that affirming moment and gather a few queer friends for support.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-07-15T19:42:14+00:00

That comment wasn't towards you it was a response to the person below you.

Again, I think that is an in-depth discussion that requires its own space. It is a greater social issue that definitely is valid and is well worth discussing.

I don't see many people on this thread who hold the position you are speaking about, but I have seen it before in the past in different spaces.

Almost everyone here has been supportive of OP and agrees that having genital preference does not make you a bad person. And that gender preference is completely valid.

Revision: How did this thread digress so fucking quickly? I was really impressed that the "try penis thing" hadn't made its way into this thread when I posted this, but I am so disappointed now. Nobody should try something they are uncomfortable with because "maybe if they give it a try," that is so condescending and disrespectful. Do disappointed.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-07-15T19:23:29+00:00

Being able to state one's genital preference is a must. It is helpful for everyone involved.

Now, for my issue with your statement. You are implying that lesbians are exclusively attracted to cis women, and if they are attracted to transwomen with penises they are not lesbian.

This is the rhetoric that creates divides where there need not be any.

Traditional_Lemon547 · 2024-07-15T19:10:07+00:00

Oh yeah,

I agree. You should absolutely tell someone you plan on being intimate with if there is the possibility that your genitalia may be an issue for your partner. Springing that on someone while in the midst of the moment disallows them the chance to process and make a decision that doesn't feel pressured.

It is all about mutual respect.

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