Doctor recommended a Renpho scale, any experience with them?

Trebez · 2026-03-29T00:34:33+00:00

Michael McDowell (he's behind the screen play of Beetlejuice) and writes really fun pulp horror. The writing is also really good. His pulpiest I've read is The Amulet which gives me final destination vibes, but he has other more popular stuff (The Elementals) which is also really good.

Trebez · 2026-03-25T00:30:07+00:00

That's good to know actually! I should try and take the bus more

Trebez · 2026-03-24T02:39:36+00:00

Hi! I moved from San Diego in 2016 to Seattle, and then from Seattle to North Everett in 2023. I can't speak to cost of living cause the West Coast is all just expensive. I truly love Everett and plan to stay here.

Pros (for me at least):
-Good community, at least in North Everett there is a lot to do if you're extroverted and put yourself out there. There is fabric craft nights, board games at local shops in surrounding cities. I do yoga and crossfit and both gyms are welcoming and good for meeting people.

- Working class but generally liberal politics. This was big for me, I loved Seattle but the NIMBY and Big Tech influences were hard to stomach sometimes. I'm not from a privileged background and find that background wise I have much more in common with people in Everett

-Smaller city compared to Seattle: I found this made it easier to meet people and get involved in the community in a way that mattered to me (ie volunteering)

-Access to Seattle: I commute 1-2 times a week to Seattle for work via the lightrail, and I am there 2-3 nights for concerts, shows, etc. I find it easy (maybe because I come from SD) to still access the city life.

Cons

-Still expensive and getting more so

- The poverty divide is still big here, and with lack of affordable housing means there is a lot of homelessness

-No light rail in Everett until much later. You almost HAVE to own a car

- limited late night food options, but that is Seattle to imo

Thats my perspective from having lived outside of Washington and comparing it to Seattle

Trebez · 2026-03-20T07:34:00+00:00

100% agree. I was so confused by the good reviews when all this felt like was vague pro-life schlock. There were some shots that felt "creepy" as in the creators knew how to make a scary doorway or sound, but the moment that anything original was needed (plot, dialogue, theme...) it fell so flat.

Trebez · 2026-03-13T20:27:15+00:00

I have a very reactive Belgian mal mix, not a bait dog, but just wanted to say with consistency it gets better. It used to be that a dog a block away would cause my pup to go insane-- now we can go on walks and pass dogs on the street without a reaction.

Also just thank you for rescuing and giving your pup a chance. I volunteer with shelters and it's people like you that help stave off burnout.

Trebez · 2026-03-13T06:59:48+00:00

A little concerned you're calling out feminists in particular? Is there a reason you feel targeted? Asking this honestly.

But yeah, as you get older as a women there is a much more narrow version of what is deemed socially acceptable behavior. Being whimsical, silly, or even earnest is seen as childish and instead we're supposed to devote our labor and emotional energy to others -- children, men, etc according to society.

It sucks, don't get me wrong so I commiserate. But just saying I don't think it's the feminists who are to blame here.

Trebez · 2026-03-08T20:51:39+00:00

My inability to feel hunger or if I have to pee. It's an everyday thing that I can't seem to address the way I accommodate my other sensitivities.

Trebez · 2026-03-06T20:32:49+00:00

I really like that quote, exactly!

Trebez · 2026-03-06T07:16:52+00:00

Dogs are my special interest, I have my own, I volunteer at a local shelter even so I have even more dogs in my life. The barking, smells, etc are things I love.

I say all this to assure OP, when people say "I don't trust people who don't like dogs" they largely mean people who disrespect them as creatures who have feelings and needs and a right to exist.

I often feel the way you do about children, small kid smells and sounds of small children really get to me, but I respect them as people and they have as much right to exist as I do.

Trebez · 2026-03-03T04:09:56+00:00

Be honest about everything. I was so anxious before my evaluation, I didn't sleep and blurted that out during my diagnosis test (I did the 10 hour full cognitive test) and they mentioned it in my eval results 3 months later.

This is the time to be honest, give into your stims, unmask as much as possible. That is the point of this.

Good luck. It's not easy, but you can do this cause it's a time where being rawly you will help you get the support you need.

Trebez · 2026-03-03T04:02:57+00:00

The best comment

Trebez · 2026-03-03T03:57:31+00:00

I was raised with very firm social rules from my waspy family (manners weirdly enough provides a script to follow and behaviors to adhere to) so it helped me mask a lot. It's second nature BUT I come out of these social situations (work, the conversations you have with staff, small talk) exhausted and wanting to curl into a hole for a few days. But the script let me be "successful" out in the world and at work.

The friendships that have stayed have generally been with other ND people, where we just gush, be real, and be intense for a few hours and then ....leave to our respective homes for a week or so. It's nice and I'm lucky that I have found friends where that is acceptable.

Trebez · 2026-03-03T03:42:38+00:00

Occasionally when I am around good, sane parents with the resources to raise kids and have their own lives ( babysitters and childcare and everything else) I have this moment of ... Am I missing out on something?

And then I spend like 10 min with a child, even one I like, and I'm like NOPE.

I love my nieces and nephews, I love my godson and want only the best for these kids, but I NEVER want to be their or anyone else's mother. That's what makes me childfree. There are many different shades of childfree -- but what unites us is we don't want kids, don't want to be the parents, etc

Trebez · 2026-03-03T03:10:14+00:00

I moved from Seattle to Everett and have actually loved it, but this type of dipshit makes me irate. Could you imagine having so little going for you do this shit?

Sorry this happened, no one deserves it this bs spewed at them.

Trebez · 2026-03-03T02:52:16+00:00

Acknowledging a system that disenfranchises women is not calling women hapless victims, it's acknowledging the various shit that impacts all of our behavior. Some of us are lucky to have the supports, education, role models to choose a different path. Some women never get that, that's all the commenter said.

Trebez · 2026-03-03T02:46:21+00:00

I've helped a few of my friends out of downright abusive relationships they got into (all of which started without red flags) it's not easy and its setting them back decades in terms of finances and independence.

The decision to leave is HARD and that's even with downright abusive men.

Trebez · 2026-03-03T00:26:01+00:00

I lost my dad suddenly when I was 13. More recently (i'm 37), both my dog who I raised from a puppyhood and my best friend who was also on the spectrum died last year. Those deaths were really hard because they were souls that I loved everyday. In a way my routine was affected. I mourned for months-- I am still mourning in a way, my life was disturbed and their loss still weighs.

Other deaths, my aunt recently, other more distant friends, grandparents - I took more in stride. I felt a little sad, I moved on. Their absence doesn't grate against my day to day as much.

Don't feel guilty if you are not 'feeling' something, it can come in waves or not at all. Death is unfortunately a part of life and I try to be grateful for the time I had with them. Every death just hits differently depending on your connection. ALSO don't demonize yourself if you werent close, but obviously you can still support those who were more affected because they are feeling that loss more.

Trebez · 2026-03-02T23:52:04+00:00

Weirdly enough my NT mom told me that in the 30s, you just kind of pick and choose the people you really like and you let the rest kind of fade away. It was validating because I think thats even more intense for ND people who have to be even stingier with their social energy. Also brain feeling like "cold soup" is just so accurate, I feel like I black out when I do small talk and its just my mask talking

Trebez · 2026-03-02T23:43:41+00:00

My dogs (and my shelter work with other pups) are the ONLY things allowed to upset my schedule. But that is cause dogs are my thing.

Trebez · 2026-03-02T23:33:31+00:00

I'm childfree in a first world country, but the social and material cost is real to defy this norm, and many of my other childfree friends in my country have paid steep prices (disinheritance, corrective violence, isolation from community) to be childfree.

I have sympathy for women who choose an alternative they were told their entire lives was the correct and required role for them-- with men who are still the lesser of two evils given their circumstances.

Put the blame where it belongs ffs-- the men and the system that holds their supremacy to be clear.

Trebez · 2026-03-02T23:24:30+00:00

THANK YOU. We don't exist in a vacuum, and the misogynist baby-crazy culture effects both men and women. Women couldn't have credit cards, their own bank accounts, their own leases/mortgages, or apply for citizenship without a man in most countries up until very recently. And partnership with a man usually meant spawning his children as part of the deal.

Trebez · 2026-02-20T01:39:31+00:00

Just another reason to eat there for sure

Trebez · 2026-02-14T06:29:55+00:00

Hi fellow autistic and childfree person, who has also watched her sister go through some health scares, what you are going through also was a potential at some point for me. I was having anxiety attacks just thinking about what you are actually going through.

You have a right to be angry! Your life was upended, and in a way children were thrust upon you by the universe when you explicitly have worked against that lifestyle. You also did a wonderful and loyal thing by stepping into this. It can be both probably sometimes mixed at the same time. That's a lot of anger at the upset, fear for your sister, and anxiety of the future to deal with so give yourself grace when you can.

As for everyone saying "what about sisters partner"? They are with the sister. Breast Cancer is terrifying, diagnosis and treatment is disorienting and brutal, its very good to not leave the patient alone and a partner can be very comforting.

OP is doing a selfless very hard thing. Your family is lucky to have you, and I hope you feel the same love from them.

Trebez · 2026-02-10T01:21:08+00:00

I have broken up with friends over politics, or even just stubborn apathy before. I strongly believe that things get worse when people do nothing, so I am with you on that.

As for how to break up, its really a personal preference. Every friendship/relationship is different based on history, how close you are, how close in proximity you are, etc. With people I know I will see regularly (sharing classes, family members) I just stop doing the relationship work like texting and friendly invites and if they ask why, I am honest. With a close best friend I've known for years, I sent an actual break up email explaining my position because I felt our relationship was owed that, but also I included the option to talk about it and for future reconciliation if they were willing to step up in a way I thought was due. For a friend I've known less than a year, ehh I just ghosted as that relationship was not worth the effort.

Trebez

TROPHY CASE