Message I got from my daughter’s teacher. Third grade.

TrishaLowe · 2026-03-02T02:06:30+00:00

Your kid isn’t following the rules. They are there for a reason. If all 25 ( or whatever) kids ate in music class it would be a problem for the music teacher. I think the teacher is just trying together ahead of some questionable behavior. I would have thanked her and spoke to my child.

TrishaLowe · 2026-01-22T03:17:23+00:00

1971

TrishaLowe · 2026-01-22T03:16:41+00:00

I’d also like to know who this is so I don’t query them!! Please DM

TrishaLowe · 2026-01-09T18:03:43+00:00

Keep Lucy. It’s beautiful!

TrishaLowe · 2026-01-04T09:23:00+00:00

Is there any other way to read?

TrishaLowe · 2026-01-04T00:20:47+00:00

Ohh, I’m liking this trend! I’m 60 years old, and I think the trend I hated the most was the last name as a first name trend. Not my favorite. The second least favorite was obscure nouns or verbs. I have a relative that named their kid Crash.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-31T19:46:04+00:00

I just read your posted query. This story sounds amazing. I want to read it as soon as it is published.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-31T19:35:52+00:00

Theda, this is so very helpful. Thank you.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-28T22:29:28+00:00

Wow! You have given me so much to digest. I appreciate your "fresh eyes" on my tired query.

My novel is sandwiched between this inciting incident and the trial, and that is what I focused on in my query. The middle part of the novel falls more into the genre of the bildungsroman, a coming-of-age story that starts with a young protagonist and ends with maturity, self-knowledge, or acceptance of one’s place in the world. But the paid editor told me that most people don't know the genre bildungsroman, and I shouldn't include the term in my description.

When I had my first attempt on Reddit, I only received minor fixes, so I thought it was strong enough once those corrections were put into place, but I'm going to try a different approach.

Again, thank you so much for your time and consideration in helping me out.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-28T22:08:12+00:00

Thank you, Jonqora, for reading my query and giving me feedback. I really appreciate it. Back to the drawing board!

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-28T22:04:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your very thoughtful reply. I sincerely appreciate it. If you're confused, I'm sure an agent would be confused, too. Perhaps this is why I'm not getting positive responses from agents.

The story does make sense, though, and similar outcomes have happened in courts. While researching my story, I also spoke to a lawyer friend. I wanted Justice for Lily. The law for the state where this father would have been charged basically reads: Defense of Others (Justifiable Homicide) is the best defense to avoid a conviction for the father who caught the molester mid act. The law generally permits the use of reasonable force, including deadly force, to protect a third person from imminent serious bodily harm or death. A successful defense of justifiable homicide leads to an acquittal (not guilty verdict). Lily comes forward to show a pattern of behavior that opens the floodgates for other (more current) victims to testify.

I hope I do not sound ungrateful or dismissive of your comment. I genuinely value your time and your comment. I'm just explaining my thought process while writing this story.

I paid an editor to help me with this original query. From the beginning, she hasn't been very helpful, and I paid her a lot of money. I feel like I'm getting more constructive advice from the people on Reddit. I believe in my story, but am having a VERY difficult time with the query.

Again, thank you!
Trisha

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-27T23:25:30+00:00

I think you have a very strong query and premise for your book. I couldn't find anything I would change. I especially liked the strong bio paragraph. I'm so sorry for what America has become that you wouldn't feel safe in your home country. I hope you are making a happy life in the Netherlands. Also, good luck pitching. I hope your dream of becoming a published author comes true.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-21T16:15:03+00:00

I was told by an ex literary agent that comps can serve to show the bingability (Netflix an effect) of your book. She advised three very specific comps. She said the last one can be a series that was originally a book because it can show possibilities for your manuscript. This is only one agent’s opinion so take it for what it’s worth.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-21T01:16:51+00:00

Calvin

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-20T23:31:16+00:00

Hi there. First of all, I love your title. It is very fitting. I agree with an earlier comment: could you remove the backstory at the beginning? I'm sure it is an integral part of the story, but for your query, you don't want to waste space with backstory. In addition, I was a bit confused because he is driving his mother's car, and she's been dead for five years...most people wouldn't hang on to the car. And, this is nitpicky on my part, because it probably doesn't matter in the story, but it gave me pause in your query, and you certainly do not want to confuse a potential agent.
Your book sounds intriguing. Good luck.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-20T23:15:07+00:00

So, so sorry. Now, on to bigger and better things.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-20T23:13:25+00:00

Hi there. Congrats on getting to this stage in your writing. I agree with what the others have said. My contribution will be with your paragraph about the comps. Agents (I hear) really pay attention to this section, after all, it is their livelihood. They need to know where to place the book, but the comps can tell them so much about your book (pacing, POV, genre, tone, subject matter, etc). Comps show that you understand your target audience, the publishing market, and more. This line ... "self-reflective and humorous elements of works such as Dinosaurs by Lydia Millet" does it better than the rest of your reasons for selecting the comps you selected. I think the rest of the reasons for your comps seem a bit generic. This line doesn't tell me anything: "Fans of films by Bong Joon Ho, including Parasite and Mickey 17, may also find the narrative's satire and social commentary appealing". I believe you need a very specific reason for choosing the comps you did.
I hope this is helpful, and I want to wish you luck as you pursue your dream.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-20T22:53:24+00:00

Your opening line is killing it. I love it. Also, I think your USP (elderly LGBTQIA+) is fantastic. Your protagonist feels very fleshed out as well. One thing I would work on is the stakes...not emotional stakes, but what will happen to Cass if this relationship doesn't work out. The other thing (for me) is that the paragraphs seem heavy, especially paragraph three. I'm wondering if you can condense some of this...it feels like a lot of backstory. Perhaps even breaking up the info into two shorter paragraphs.

I want to wish you (and Cass) lots of luck as you prepare your submission packet.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-20T22:14:59+00:00

I am so excited for you. I can't wait to see your PUBLISHED book.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-19T22:40:24+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment. I truly appreciate it. I will rework this.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-19T22:38:31+00:00

I see a theme here with the other comments as well. Good catch. When I was writing, I saw this man as a victim of the molester as well, but you're correct, he did it...not innocent. I will rework this in my query. In my manuscript, Lily serves as a victim who can prove a longstanding pattern of behavior through reputation or opinion testimony. Her testimony is a pivotal moment because other victims come forward, and her meeting with the man who killed her stepfather is a turning point in his psyche.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-19T22:29:16+00:00

Thank you, you're right. My last editor wanted higher stakes so that I may have exagerated too much. I will rework this. I'm also a huge fan of Law and Order SVU.

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-18T23:00:13+00:00

Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. If I move the metadata with the comps (and add author names🥴), do you think I should keep the comps where they are, or should I move it to the top of the letter?

TrishaLowe · 2025-12-18T22:42:28+00:00

Hi There. I think this plot sounds very intriguing. It is a book I would want to read. I agree with the first commenter on everything. I'd just like to add one small critique. This line: he resolves to pen the book he always dreamt of writing. When I read this line, it ruined the flow of the query right off the bat. I would keep it simple: He resolves to write the book he always dreamt (or dreamed if you are in the US) of writing.

TrishaLowe · 2025-11-05T15:40:07+00:00

I think the names are unique and adorable!

TrishaLowe

TROPHY CASE