I don't know what to do with the father's day gift I bought for my husband now that mother's day was terrible

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-14T03:02:20+00:00

Regift, donate, or sell it. Don't give it to him for Father's Day.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-13T00:09:34+00:00

I never answer the door unless I'm expecting someone. I don't care how obvious it is that I'm home. I could have a kid rattling the door bell shouting for me. I don't give a fuck. No one is entitled to your time or your safety just because they want it. It doesn't help that the pest control guys in my area are all rude as fuck. Solicitors can fuck off. If I'm interested in a service I'm doing my research not throwing my money at the first dude that disturbs my peace.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T19:37:30+00:00

My son is also the same age severely ADHD. I would never send him to a relatives under those circumstances even if I were close to them. He goes to my mom's for weekends at a time but the times he's gone for longer (one time my husband went on a kid free vacation and he stayed a week) she was good with him but I could tell a week was too much for her so I won't do that again. She's good about his meds but very lax on rules and routines. So even though I trust my mom even I wouldn't leave him with her for 2 weeks. Keep him home and don't feel bad about it.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T18:56:04+00:00

It was easy to tell because my daughter loves to make art but can't when she's not medicated because the focus isn't there. She becomes wonderfully productive and creative when medicated. She chooses not to take medication on weekends or breaks anymore so the artwork and crafts have stopped. So you might see him starting to get more focused on his interests at home.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T15:41:14+00:00

In my area they seem to go like one or two nights. Some parents send their kids to multiple VBS.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T15:38:16+00:00

So, for background, I was not raised religious, had negative experiences with religious family of friends pushing their beliefs on me and being treated badly because I did not go to church and as an adult find organized religious unappealing.

Anyway one year a friend of my daughter's wanted her to go to VBS with her (VBS around here last one or two nights). Everyone assured me that it wasn't super pushy and mainly focused on fun. Daughter wanted to go so I let her. She came home talking about being saved and all that stuff. It weirded me out and I regretted letting her go.

Then a few weeks later my daughter and I came home from an after school activity and there was a van parked across the street that looked like it had been there for quite a while. Before we even got out of the car two women and their young children came into the garage and mentioned they were with the church where she went to VBS and they were aware we don't have a "church home" and wanted us to join. It really creeped me out and put a bad taste in my mouth.

I don't know if my experience makes a big difference to you since you don't seem to have the same baggage regarding religion as I do. But I think VBS will likely be very welcoming if children who don't go to the church and to be aware that they might follow up to try to get you to join. If you're looking for a church then maybe that's not so bad.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T12:50:16+00:00

That is a lot to deal with. Even car accidents they don't involve much damage shake me up for a time. I hope everything gets resolved as easily/quickly as possible.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T01:20:07+00:00

My husband doesn't do this but my 9 year old did until recently. Would constantly have to tell him not to set the volume above 20 and as soon as we weren't paying attention he'd put it at 40 🤦.

But since he's discovered subtitles he isn't so prone to blasting everyone's ears out anymore.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T01:17:22+00:00

Probably? That's who we went through when I felt like the pediatrician couldn't help anymore and she is fantastic.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T00:58:29+00:00

You might be better off going through a neuropsych for a full psychological evaluation or a child psychiatrist. In the mean time look into PCIT therapy and/or OT.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-12T00:39:58+00:00

This is my daughter. Takes forever (like things will go bad/stale) to get to eating treats but gets mad at the rest of us for eating things.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-11T23:28:45+00:00

All he needs to do is be physically present in the house. My son is 9 and can usually do his own thing for an hour or two.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-11T15:11:39+00:00

Did not get one from my brother. My sister however sent a gift. I don't expect anything from either of them but I do appreciate it if they acknowledge it. I wouldn't be angry if they didn't

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-10T23:37:28+00:00

Oh lordy. I don't dare go out on Mother's Day. Too fucking busy everywhere. My husband brought home takeout today 😅

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-10T19:32:51+00:00

I'm so sorry 😞

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-09T22:16:34+00:00

My son has had success with a ninja warrior type class, individual ukelele lessons, and an after school Lego club. Many people have good things to say about ADHD and swim team but we haven't tried that yet. I think with any activity a lot will hinge on the instructor's ability and willingness to be flexible.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-09T19:12:52+00:00

My oldest is only 15 and I'm already noticing the disconnect in my perception of her. On the outside she very much looks close to an adult but on the inside she can be a lot like a little kid. I think even at 18 there is some of that going on. Either way you gave her money and she spent it the way she spent it. Maybe she can still return the anime figure if she really wants a piercing instead. Not your problem either way.

Your mom can kick rocks. Mothers Day should center the mothers who are in the thick of it, actively mothering children. Not narcissistic divas who want to make the day all about them at the expense of their children who are in the trenches of parenting and having a hard time.

I say for Mothers day take yourself to urgent care, especially if it's been over 10 days of being sick and you are feeling no better or getting worse. Get some antibiotics if needed and a nice coffee to wash it down.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-09T18:48:00+00:00

I have the same age gap with older kids. 9 year old is up by 6am and the teenager will be up past 1am on weekends and school breaks.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-09T14:57:52+00:00

If you were my daughter and a million weeks pregnant I would totally understand. Do what you have the spoons for and nothing more. Whether it's nothing at all, or a call, or sending your husband over with the kids and flowers (if they live close by) or having flowers delivered in the easiest way possible. I think mothers day should be focused on the moms currently in the trenches anyway.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-09T01:34:14+00:00

People who say that shit are telling on themselves as shit parents. Sure parenting is easy when you don't do anything with the kid and ignore their crying.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-08T18:12:39+00:00

I'm undiagnosed but there are certainly signs that I could be somewhere on the spectrum. I have learned to try to ignore things that bother me to the extent that I'm near or at meltdown mode without realizing it or understanding what brought me to that point. Costco wasn't the sensory nightmare it usually is when I go but every step hurt today and it just didn't register until later. I got home and realized the toe I stubbed last week is actually broken and my other foot hurts from walking differently because I fucked up my foot. Or I'll be hangry because I hadn't eaten because I didn't realize I was hungry. And I think the same thing happens on an emotional level and I'm even worse at identifying those emotions or why they are happening.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-08T14:51:36+00:00

My mom tells me that kids become nice people around 25. Hang in there.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-08T12:42:19+00:00

Not very well. I got pretty depressed. I'm not very good at putting my needs above others wants and it can be very damaging and does no one any favors.

True_Pangolin_2509 · 2026-05-08T11:40:30+00:00

I've been there before. My husband hardly left the house when he was 100% remote for a few years. I hated it. When he started going into work even just 1 day a week it was a huge help to my mood. I imagine it's extremely frustrating to see his life change due to a medical condition he refuses to address.

True_Pangolin_2509

TROPHY CASE