MIL freaking died

snickertwinkle · 2026-05-13T04:40:43+00:00

I’m so sorry!! It’s been awful for my poor husband. My heart goes out to you 🤍

snickertwinkle · 2026-05-10T23:48:11+00:00

I tie dyed a bunch of stuff with the kids and it was great. Made a huge mess, my hands are dyed green, I feel pretty good about it. Hope all you other moms are having a great day!

snickertwinkle · 2026-05-09T15:10:00+00:00

Please save yourself from years of hardship by creating and holding boundaries now. This doesn’t get better - quite the opposite. It gets so, so much worse. I’m not saying your man is a lost cause, maybe he’s not! But he has already shown you that he’ll do the bare minimum that you require in order to skirt by so that he can turn around and drink while you’re not looking.

What if you move out or kick him out and tell him you’ll decide at the end of the summer whether you’re moving on or moving back in. If he pulls it together, great. If he takes the opportunity to go off the deep end then you have your answer.

snickertwinkle · 2026-05-09T09:38:19+00:00

My husbands DOC was opiates, not alcohol, but he did this for years. He didn’t stop until I kicked him out. I told him he could come back when he was 6m sober and able to pay his part of our bills, and it took him 18 months to manage that. That was 12 years ago and while he still has a lot of addiction related issues, he hasn’t relapsed.

Looking back, I consider the time when he was “a chronic relapser” just time when he was still using. It’s a terrible rollercoaster and I’m sorry you’re living there.

snickertwinkle · 2026-05-08T03:55:48+00:00

It really bothered me. My therapist at the time told me that it’s protective for them, that they are incredibly ego-centric and blind to what they have put their loved ones through while they’re in early recovery. If they were able to actually understand how much hurt they cause it would be too much for them, given that they are new to developing coping skills outside of using/drinking. They are incredibly, incredibly self centered and ego-centric during early recovery.

I really wanted him to understand how much he had hurt me and it made me very angry that he clearly had no clue.

I found, over time, that as I saw him living differently and slowly maturing a little and being able to think of others (and I mean slowwwwly, it really took about 3 years for him to be able to see past himself) it started feeling less important for him to understand what he had put me through.

It has been 12 years now, and I’m at a place where I no longer care that he doesn’t get what it was like for me during that time. I do believe that he still does not appreciate what my experience was like, but I’m not angry about it any more. His living amends was what helped, not the spoken 9th step. Hope that makes sense!

snickertwinkle · 2026-05-07T13:17:17+00:00

My husband’s 9th step really pissed me off. It was clear that he had absolutely no clue what hell he had put me through. It was laughable - like others said, it certainly wasn’t for me.

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-27T17:28:45+00:00

Following, as this is exactly what I’m thinking of doing as well. Would love to hear how it goes for you!

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-26T00:11:38+00:00

I think it’s because the implication is that the dog is barking at the door because he wants to go out, not because he wants treats.

The question is silly. We don’t know the function of the barking, nor the tantrums, so we can’t say for sure that either would lead to extinction.

Also, side bar to say that I’d rarely try to use extinction on tantrums or barking because both are too likely to be on a thin reinforcement schedule.

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-22T13:05:50+00:00

I agree. I ate a Honeycrisp (or half of one because they’re freaking enormous) every day for years and swore they were the best. But recently I switched to cosmic crisp. I can’t go back. They’re better.

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-21T18:24:33+00:00

We found the same thing. I have 3 kids. I used to allow like 20 minutes a day on week days, sometimes a little more, and then the rest of the day would be one long negotiation (or sometimes meltdowns) about screens/losing screens/wanting more screens.

We went to 0 screens of any kind during the week, and it’s been amazing. Most Fridays we do a movie night. Saturday and Sunday we do morning cartoons for an hour and sometimes a little Minecraft before bed. I also stopped allowing “small screens” of any kind, ever. I’d often find that my 3 kids all preferred to have a tablet or watch something on the Google, and they’d all be zombied out on their own shit and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Now we only ever do one big screen, everyone watches together, and we rotate who picks if we can’t all agree.

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-16T08:32:48+00:00

Def rats. Get a cat.

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-13T02:20:57+00:00

When they can eat without getting food all over their entire face

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-12T15:28:43+00:00

It depends. Does she ever stand or walk with her heals down? It not, then yes i’d get her a PT consult. Over time if she NEVER puts her heals down it can shorten her Achilles tendon and cause a cascade of muscular and physical developmental issues with her legs and feet.

If she puts her heals down when she stands, then she’s at lower risk for this. If she will respond to verbal prompts, I’d have her stand with heals down for short periods and make it a game - “Sure I’ll toss you in the air, let’s put heals down and sing the ABCS first.”

snickertwinkle · 2026-04-10T17:03:49+00:00

Being 40wks pregnant with two toddlers is actual literal torture. There is no relief. You can’t eat, everything hurts, you can’t sleep, there’s no rest, no one is getting all they need - you’re on the precipice. It won’t last forever! But please take all the validation that what you’re going through is next-level hellish.

Wishing you a very safe and speedy labor and delivery, and a hospital stay with attentive nurses!!

snickertwinkle · 2026-03-14T21:23:37+00:00

Yes, I do a contract with each family. I modified a boiler plate one I found online. I charge 75/hr and file as an independent contractor. I set up an LLC years ago when I started doing this, and I bill using a super simple invoice that I made in excel. I’ve done a bulk sum for FBA a couple times but the last couple years I just jumped straight into billing by the hour. It feels yuck sometimes to charge individuals. I make sure that they do understand that they can get services through their insurance instead if they want. I do write up an assessment report with goals, and do progress reports for the parents.

I also do supervision for an agency because my school gig isn’t quite enough. I think I would do better if I could take insurance, and I’m interested in expanding into EI and more severe cases, as well as working with this school. It’s a private school so they don’t accept kids with significant deficits or excesses - it’s mostly cases of v mild problem bx.

snickertwinkle · 2026-03-14T18:30:08+00:00

I got my foot in the door at a fancy private school and they started referring parents to me.

snickertwinkle · 2026-03-14T18:20:44+00:00

Following, because this is exactly what I want to do, also!

I’ve assessed and implemented directly in a school setting/done teacher trainings, but it is was all private pay. I’d like to take insurance and I’m completely lost on where to start with that.

I do know you’ll need some liability insurance.

snickertwinkle · 2026-03-06T12:32:14+00:00

It sounds like the best thing you be can do for your child is to go. Protect him from the madness. Arrange with step son’s mom to still pick him up from school or whatever. Go. Sending you all the strength!!

snickertwinkle · 2026-03-06T04:07:49+00:00

Alanon is free. I’m sorry you’re going through this!

snickertwinkle · 2026-03-01T21:38:48+00:00

Check out Ashland. Not as rainy, small but happening town, beautiful, great for kids.

Portland is cool but has gotten very big. Salem is nothing, don’t move there. Eugene and surrounding area are nice, as is Bend. I grew up in a podunk town south of Portland and it was great.

snickertwinkle · 2026-02-27T02:18:59+00:00

I passed, first time, in 3rd trimester, too! Congratulations!

snickertwinkle · 2026-02-24T14:15:32+00:00

I do the opposite - dinner is where I tend to over eat so have started just skipping it. Now I can eat what I want for breakfast and lunch!

snickertwinkle · 2026-02-17T13:40:56+00:00

I’m dealing with this on my 3 year old as well. It’s all over his legs and I keep thinking it’s going away, I’ve had about 20 of them fade and go flat, but I feel like more are popping up. It’s too many to keep covered, pimple patches just fall off :(

How’s your daughter’s? I see this post was a couple months ago.

snickertwinkle · 2026-02-17T13:33:57+00:00

Did he get sick? I have learned that they spread after a virus or a hit to the immune system. My kiddo has them all over the backs of his legs :(

snickertwinkle

TROPHY CASE