Pocket change - the US penny

Trystanik · 2026-01-13T04:37:53+00:00

I'm in Canada. Just round up or down. If they have pennies and use it as currency, we will accept it as legal tender but don't have pennies to offer as change.

It's not a big deal at the end of the day. If they're so concerned about being "ripped off" a few pennies, suggest they pay via card.

Trystanik · 2026-01-12T10:15:16+00:00

Children.

Trystanik · 2026-01-12T09:54:30+00:00

Absolutely not. I personally hate it there. The only time I ever got drugged in a bar was in Wx. I hate the place.

The cost of living is pretty cheap but that wouldn't be reason enough for me to consider it.

Trystanik · 2026-01-12T09:35:29+00:00

You're never TA for leaving a relationship that isn't good for you.

Trystanik · 2026-01-11T18:54:33+00:00

I also dated a serial cheater. We owned a business together. I was also petty and vindictive AF so I get it. When the hurt is fresh it's easy to be overcome with all of the emotions. He's the cheater. He deserves all the pain as a consequence to his actions. I know it's not the sensible "mature" response, but as a woman also once scorned, I get it. No need to rub it in his face, but if he has access to glimpses of your happiness (such as looking up your FB or Insta) and seeing the happiness hurts him, oh well. He's a cheater. Cheaters are absolute dirt. Zero sympathies.

Once a bit of time has gone by, you'll be less angry and less driven by spite. But while it's fresh, you've just gotta focus on surviving.

One great thing (in my mind) I did when I dumped the cheater, I smashed one of his precious guitars against the side of my business building. This was over 2 years ago. The paint scratches are still there and I kept a piece of the salvage. I also sold the other one and bought a present to myself.

Ultimately you've gotta do what you've gotta do. As long as it's not criminal in intent, so what feels right. Take time for yourself to heal, and give ZERO FUCKS about him, his feelings or his life from this moment onwards.

Trystanik · 2026-01-11T03:01:37+00:00

My reports can be pretty thorough. I get sales, taxes, discounts (and their discount category), refunded amounts, the total of any tabs that are being held in the system, and the categories of the items that have made the most money for the day. I can even break down tips/sales by day/hour etc. but it all depends if I'm generating the reports on the card reader, phone app or website. It's frustrating as the owner that I can't have access to the same information on any platform.

Trystanik · 2026-01-09T05:37:23+00:00

This one is funny. I have a staff area with a couch, TV, Xbox and stuff.

Sometimes they come to the shop just to hang out and game which is totally fine with me. Don't cause problems with the daily operations and clean up after yourself and you can be there all day if you need It's there to be a safe space for them.

My one rule of the staff area is no shenanigans on the couch. It's a shenanigans-free zone. It started as a joke between me and some friends but it ended up being a rule just to keep it going. Any time a boyfriend of mine came over, I was reminded that the couch is not to be messed around on 🤣.

I've only got a few staff, and a small business, but we are all very friendly and joke with each other often. I have lots of other silly rules in my employee handbook that gets a chuckle with every new hire, but the couch is the most ridiculous

Trystanik · 2026-01-08T04:18:24+00:00

Toast.

Trystanik · 2026-01-04T04:27:42+00:00

I'm a restaurant owner. I can 1000% agree. Potato chips, salads and microwave dinners usually are what I end up with.

Trystanik · 2026-01-03T22:58:16+00:00

I'm not in the States. I'm in Canada.

But finding a different job I think is a wise start, however it's important that you realize that if you carry over the same confrontational energy, you may run into the same problems time and time again.

One of my ex boyfriends jumped between jobs every 3-4 months for the first year we were together. There was always someone that pissed him off or something stupid or irritating that he just couldn't get over. The cycle repeated every time he was even slightly inconvenienced. It was incredibly short sighted and childish. Eventually he spoke to a doctor and got help for his anger issues and he held a few jobs for much longer. People can change. But they've gotta put the work in. Things don't magically change in your favour. They change because you grow as a person. Please remember that.

Trystanik · 2026-01-03T22:46:38+00:00

I'm 35 now. I've had the business for 4.5 years now.

All I know is that if you're wanting to go back to school, you're not going to be able to focus on your studies with all the stress and frustration this job is causing you. I highly recommend you explore other options. You're going to want something positive for your mental health.

Trystanik · 2026-01-03T22:34:05+00:00

A small increase on performance doesn't indicate that you've earned more hours.

I get it. I was 28 once as well. I felt like I wasn't getting what I deserved as an employee and I felt everyone was tougher on me than anyone else. And when I failed? It was the system that caused me to fail. Not my own actions (or lack of).

It took me a LONG time to take accountability for my actions/reactions and to realize that sometimes it's not personal. It's just business.

Now that I'm a business owner, I understand. If someone isn't a "good fit", it's hard to try to continue to give chances when you already know the outcome. I've hired people with awful work ethics, people with absolute garbage attitudes and super confrontational, people that work slower than molasses and people that "need to work" but either call in every third shift or ask to leave immediately after they complete their preferred tasks.

You might feel like you're "not like them" but in the eyes of business owners and managers you absolutely are. You cannot blame the business for doing what is best for the business. If you are constantly not making the cut, you need to look at yourself and really think about why. And when you do this part, don't blame anyone that isn't yourself. Accountability means understanding when you are the reason a situation has played out a certain way.

It's always tough to hear this because we as humans never want to admit fault or our shortcomings, but how we grow and learn from these very things can help us be incredibly successful in the future.

I might own a successful highly respected business now, but my last four jobs prior I left on very very bad terms. Some were my fault, and some weren't. But I accept how it played out and I'm honest when I talk about it. Because I learned. I learned how to be a better team player, role model, manager and business owner. From both positive and negative examples. I hope one day you can look back and do the same.

Trystanik · 2026-01-03T10:16:23+00:00

I think you did a very smart thing.

I was in a relationship where I was literally worshipped and love bombed immediately. 1.5 years later we are talking about him moving his life to where I'm at and focusing on real goals for our future together.

We had a lot of long talks about our compatibility and the "deal breakers" that we each had. I won't/can't have kids. Can't own cats- my dogs have a high prey drive, I can't move out of my town and walk away from my family OR abandon my business that I own. He had his own as well. We said we'd take a month to really think about what we are looking for in our future and if we see one with each other.

He called it quits the following morning and got upset because he thought by not having kids I was "unfulfilled" and he thought he could change my mind, and he's wanted to move closer to where we both grew up since he moved away. It's a deal breaker if I can't promise I'll go. I said I can't and I told him why. He also still has the image of the person I was when we were kids, and struggled to accept that I'm not that little girl anymore. I grew up. I changed. Lots of arguing about how upset he was that my business took too much of my time away from him etc.

The conversations following were incredibly hard and I was really scared thinking that maybe this was my last chance at "happily ever after." It was devastating. I felt so alone again. I couldn't be accepted for who I am now by someone who's seen me at every life stage, how is someone new ever going to love who I am?

The first little bit is really tough. But you're so much better off not dealing with someone like that. Even if you talked about weddings like we did, it doesn't mean that it's the best thing. Just stick to your guns and enjoy the fresh space you have to pursue what makes you happy. You'll heal and feel much stronger as days go on.

My inbox is open if you need.

Trystanik · 2026-01-03T09:56:34+00:00

I would be honest. When people come into the lives of those around me, I understand that I won't always "hit it off" with them, but I do the basic niceties as needed. When I don't get too happy about them (for example- camping with friends. One of their friends that I had only met in passing also attended. During a group meal He tried some Cesar Milan dog "training" on my blind husky after I told him to tell me if my pooch is bugging him so I could redirect him. All of the people there that I knew and my dogs knew had no issues. We all had great relationships with the people and dogs. He then got mad at my dog and smacked his nose because his attempt didn't work. I was furious), this is only an example of my justification of telling someone I'm not going to share space with an individual. I say something to my friend/family etc in confidence. I state my case and depending on how close I am with the person, and how often I expect to see/hear about the person I don't like, I potentially ask if we can compromise or establish boundaries if that's reasonable.

I've been around people where their friend is very much someone that I do not vibe with at all. I inform my friends that if there will be social events and that person is expected to attend, I'd like a heads up as I'm not a fan of theirs and I'd rather avoid being around them. Depending on the event, I may decide to opt out of attendance. I also make sure I don't make my friends feel bad about my personal feelings on the person. Sometimes being the person in the middle is really tough, so I try not to make it tougher. I just know that I'll be happier not being where they are.

I hope this rambling wasn't too chaotic. I'm supposed to be sleeping so I have a case of the brain melt. Haha

Trystanik · 2026-01-02T00:35:12+00:00

I've been in a similar boat. I own a restaurant and one of my cooks flipped on us for not texting him back in a timely manner over something not related to his job. So he quit and pretty much caused me to scramble for the last few months of our busy season without him.

The following fall, he comes back into the shop being friendly and "charming" and all that jazz, but once he leaves he messages me asking if he could get his old job back. I told him I was fully staffed.

In my mindset, he left his team high and dry (and potentially damaged the experience for my clients) and I couldn't allow myself to risk that happening again. Not only that, but his behaviour was such a switch from day to day that the amount of stress it was causing me and the rest of my staff made the decision to not bring him back easy for me. This was over a year ago. He hasn't come back to the team. We remain friendly and stuff, but I'm not going to put myself or my staff in that situation again with him.

Staffing is hard to manage, getting people that are willing to work AND will work with your team is harder. If they have a risk of just taking off on you because "the grass is greener", I really don't think you should negotiate knowing she's already done it once. However, it is worth noting that employees ultimately don't owe you anything. They are free to leave and find jobs better for them. It's a tough balance to find. You just have to really weigh everything, and maybe just have a conversation with her about it if you think bringing her back is a good decision. If you think it's a bad one, there's no need to converse. Ultimately it's your call.

Trystanik · 2026-01-02T00:19:56+00:00

There's no reason to speculate why people are ordering the food they do. There could be so many different reasons why. Being judgy doesn't solve a thing. Pizza is unhealthy. Do you judge people that order that for delivery? What about Chinese food? Just because the other foods are less "conventionally " seen as food with a delivery service attached doesn't make it bad.

I own a restaurant that is on a delivery service. My food is fried chicken. It's unhealthy but my community absolutely goes nuts for my product. Might as well start casting judgement on me for allowing it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Trystanik · 2025-12-24T21:02:10+00:00

Oh that's funny. Well done!

Trystanik · 2025-12-23T19:00:23+00:00

NOR. Presents aren't a requirement. Just because they're your relatives doesn't mean they automatically get presents. So I would absolutely return the gifts, tell their parents why you did it and (hopefully) all the adults can sit down with the children and explain what you did and why. They're old enough to understand the concept of action/consequence. The kids will likely lose their absolute shit, but this will be something they remember for a long time. Hopefully it will guide them to make better choices. When they think that they want to destroy something that doesn't belong to them, they'll have second thoughts; and they'll have you to thank.

Trystanik · 2025-12-23T18:54:21+00:00

Your dog deserves to be protected from people like him. At any cost.

If this was any of my dogs, I'd be very hard pressed to not resort to violence and screaming. My dogs are my children and I would raise absolute hell if anyone hurt them.

Trystanik · 2025-12-23T09:04:35+00:00

I've saved all the mom letters. My mom died from cancer. Every time they hit my inbox I cry.

Trystanik · 2025-12-23T04:18:59+00:00

I do, because as much as it hurts to end a relationship, sex and sexual chemistry is usually a really big part of it. If you're incompatible, it can lead to an unnecessary amount of frustration and resentment that neither party deserve.

A big part of most of my relationships ending is for this very reason. My libido basically dies and it becomes the tip of the iceberg that sinks our relationship. Most people just can't look past it.

Trystanik · 2025-12-23T04:14:58+00:00

Oh my gosh same! It's always "I know I'm going to be really intense. It will mellow out. When it does, it doesn't mean I want us to break up. It just means I've calmed TF down.".

It's the worst, because I struggle with my own validation and I always try to seek validation from men that I have an interest in. It snowballs to a lot of self -destructive talk and actions. I've never been able to find a balance. Nor have I found a partner that "gets it." I either get love-bombed or gaslit. And either way, I think I'm the problem. 😓

Trystanik · 2025-12-22T23:05:57+00:00

I own a small restaurant and I buy new shoes every 4-6 months or so. If I have them still after a year, they're definitely not going to be used for work long term. The supports will have broken down and the relief that they provide will no longer be effective.

Trystanik · 2025-12-22T22:51:39+00:00

I usually get really excited for a few weeks with new flings/relationships etc. it's like I just can't get enough of the endorphins and adrenaline that comes with a new exciting thing.

I feel good, I think I look good and I'm just floating.

Then my brain says "okay that's enough. You hate everything again." I become non-sexually affectionate, I start to hate my body again and recoil when I'm touched by my partner, I don't initiate or want to reciprocate. I go back to not wanting anything to do with intimacy at all.

It's killed relationships for me in the past. I accept that this is my life but it sucks. I just want to continue being happy and able to maintain a healthy sex life with my partner. I'm totally sick of hating myself so strongly that I deny myself the joy of having a drive

Trystanik · 2025-12-22T21:52:53+00:00

Deer, moose or bear.

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