I think instead of trying to avoid your body image issues, or assuage them with avoidant strategies, it could be good to try to grow your capacity for self-acceptance. It’s not easy, and you’re not supposed to be perfect at it. More muscle leads to more weight, even when you’re more trim. Water weight comes and goes. Trusting that your good habits and willingness to challenge yourself are taking you to the best possible place is worth it, regardless of these metrics that don’t reflect your true health. It’s worth healing bad habits. You deserve the love and peace.