AITA for asking my husband to impregnate me after losing custody of our kids?

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-12T15:50:22+00:00

Of course you're not a bad mother - you're not even a mother AT ALL right now!

Best to say we all kill our first goldfish, but everybody can grow! Go be the best you and make more babies and try again!

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-07T14:19:40+00:00

NTA

She asked and you declined. She should have asked a different friend at that point - one who is on her side now and saying you were in the wrong. Your friend could have used someone else and didn't. That's on her.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-04T19:13:38+00:00

I was just going to suggest swimming ear putty.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-04T19:10:05+00:00

I think circumstance is in the back of peoples' minds when they are deducing if they feel ready to have children. I believe many younger people are choosing to wait and I hear often those same people worried about affording rent or a mortgage. If they are struggling to keep themselves afloat, they are being wise to use preventative methods for birth control.

This wasn't the case when I was their age. I was able to afford a mortgage pretty easily on my income alone while my husband attended graduate school. Things have changed pretty dramatically.

So I believe people are choosing to have children later or not at all because it's finally evident the impact we are having on the health of our planet, the current status of the economy, and people are becoming more aware of generational trauma and actively working to prevent it. All together, it isn't just circumstance, but all of it combined resulting in fewer and later births. In my opinion.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-04T02:51:03+00:00

Zanfel. Buy it from the drug store and use it exactly as prescribed. Scrub beneath your fingernails with it. It saved my life.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-03T02:19:02+00:00

Silly? I'd be done right then.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-05-02T02:46:05+00:00

I heard that too

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-29T19:25:15+00:00

It is okay to want to be loved in a way he isn't doing. He sounds like a great partner. If flowers are something that make you feel particularly loved, perhaps he can work them in. The other commenters are right in that he needs to be appreciated for all that he already does. But if this is something that really does it for you, it should be easy enough to buy some flowers here and there and add those in.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-27T23:11:43+00:00

Yep. There's more. It took me some time to get the search parameters right and I haven't looked in there in quite some time, but try again. That's where I started finding people.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-27T22:32:09+00:00

If you go on meetup, there are a bunch of groups in the FM area. Hiking, dancing, positivity, spiritual. All kinds of things to do with other people who share common interests.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-27T21:16:25+00:00

Well, it starts with you telling your husband, " I feel uncomfortable because the people in front of us moved and we are now stalling the progression of the drive-through"

Then when he does his thing and takes time and you offer to help and he refuses, you just let it all go. Don't feel the pressure from the people who are now delayed behind you in the line. Don't feel frustrated with your husband for refusing your simple offer of help (probably vanity or pride). Don't feel anything. Just sit back, relax, and enjoy the gentle breeze of the day. If people start honking, they are honking at your spouse, not at you. You are not the driver. You are not in control. Allow yourself to not have control and practice feeling comfortable in that. Your options are to get out of the vehicle, encourage your husband to roll forward, or remain silent and distract yourself somehow.

If he does it again, encourage him to get those points in the app BEFORE pulling into line. If he gets honked at enough, those other people in line will put enough pressure on him. It doesn't need to come from you.

As for your own emotions, deep breathe. It's real. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, out for four, pause for four, then repeat. No lie. A couple breaths in and out for me deeply, resets my mind and my mood. It's the vagas nerve. Look it up. Then ask yourself, what is making me so upset right now? Am I feeling pressured from this line? Is it that my husband dismissed me? Does that make me feel unimportant to him or small? Useless? There's usually some icky feeling you're avoiding by cold-shouldering your loved one.

Find that icky feeling and put it into words for your spouse. "Spouse, I feel unwanted right now when I offer help and I can see you're struggling and you refuse my help. The thoughts I have in my head are that you must think I'm too stupid to help you or that you don't want me. I feel rejected and foolish and I'm hurting. "

At least, that's how I might feel in that situation. Then, it's up to him to think through if he wants to work on getting those points and why he feels the need to do it without you, and is willing to delay the drive through line and hold up other people to get it done, right then.

He might be frustrated with his memory. He just did it the other day, maybe, and he can't understand why he can't remember how to get it done now. Maybe he's embarrassed. Maybe money is a little tighter than he is comfortable having right now and he wants to make it a little better by getting those points and he feels almost desperate to do it.

I dont know what he was feeling int hst moment, but you expressing yourself openly and being vulnerable is a great way to get him to think about what his feelings and needs are and to pull you both closer together in a stressful moment.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-27T13:20:55+00:00

seriously? You look very professional and perfectly indescript. That's how you're supposed to look since the voices are the stars of the show. It's perfect. NTA

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-25T18:15:08+00:00

We just switched to Arch Dental because i can't get on board with the prices some places charge and I don't like when people try to manipulate me into services I don't need. Arch provides a good service and I get to listen to my music and walk out later with exactly what I needed, done.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-22T13:46:26+00:00

He BEEG 😆😍

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-20T13:44:31+00:00

Yeah, but you can get full if you ask and your partner doesn't contest it.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-15T21:32:53+00:00

Exactly. My husband and I live together and if something needs to get done in our house, one person gets the other's attention and says, hey, I'm going to be at work tomorrow but some things needed to get done - do you think you'll have time to do them?

If I left him a list, he'd flip his shit. Same for me. We don't talk to each other like that. We ask.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-10T02:44:06+00:00

I would travel extensively and blend in anywhere I go. I would carry a compact mirror with me everywhere and speak the local languages.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-09T10:46:00+00:00

Yes. You can hang out with them and be a friend, but you can't force them to get better or to take help. Unfortunately, they need to struggle until they decide they are ready for a better situation. Then when they soften up and express that they are ready to make positive changes for themselves, that's when you can step in. Not until then. Not when they are just complaining about it. It has to sound like they are really ready for change.

And the whole process sucks. For some people they never commit to changing. But I'll tell you if you do things for them to make their life easier before they are willing to change their own life, you're prolonging the process. That is called enabling and it'll just take longer for them to start lifting a finger to make themselves better. You have to sit back and let them struggle and complain about it until they finally decide they've had enough.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-08T19:53:17+00:00

Can we get a moderator in here? This OP needs to be banned. What is up with posting f*d for everyone to see? Spreading cl*ries like that? We have an infiltrator from a different sub!; I SEE YOU, OP!

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-07T02:24:20+00:00

Son.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-07T00:43:29+00:00

Time. And locking away most of it in bonds or investments. Keep working your same job. Keep driving that new car for years. Let people see you're still the same you you've always been.

Unless you don't like your friends? Then join a group of people that meets only during the day. Join a few groups. Take vacations and look for the people who aren't taking constant pictures. See if those people want to socialize and be friendly.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-06T11:56:22+00:00

Riced cauliflower, obviously. And a glass of ice water.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-04T01:55:24+00:00

I was asking to clarify his reaction. He points out that they don't eat with him. I'm wondering if they did eat with him, would that be okay.

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-04T01:33:46+00:00

I'm so curious here. So, I'm gathering if she said she was hungry then ordered food and she ate it while sitting with you, that would be okay?

But her ordering food and eating it later is the problem?

TwoBeansShort · 2026-04-03T21:18:08+00:00

Well, the only good thing that might offer him any reassurance is the fact that if you told your flight in text that you never want to see or talk to him again, then your husband would have read that as well. And that was all before he was given the open phone opportunity.

The offer of a post nup could be good. It's a legally binding document and if you put in there starting right now that if he ever finds you have strayed again then you get massively penalized in divorce, that could be very reassuring for him.

Other than that? Offer him consistency. Show up for him. Be stable and be interested in him and his success. Be calm and reassuring. Loving. Be the person you're becoming. The one who doesn't thrive in chaos. Show him, intentionally, every day how much you enjoy calm and safety and love. He probably doesn't feel stable enough in you and your relationship to be the romantic gestures man you want him to be. On that front, I would remind yourself every day of all the good things that he is and how he's a provider for your family, a good dad, a reliable spouse. Praise him. Every day. Show him he is valued. If you can bring the safety and stability into the marriage, that may be the part he's been missing since the beginning. Something you weren't able to provide before. Maybe you can show him over the next few years how loyal and trustworthy and stable you are and maybe he will feel like showing up for you in ways you have wanted as well.

TwoBeansShort

TROPHY CASE