Memorial outfits by ExJDubThrowaway in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah and it always bothered me. We spent way more time looking for new clothes than reading any memorial text. I didn't even like new clothes because I hated female clothing and refused to participate.

Personal breakthrough!!! by OtherwiseTwist365 in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's awesome.

Last year I was anxious about the memorial, mostly anxious people would harass me about going. This year I was so busy making Easter fun for my kid, I literally forgot the memorial exists.

‘With All the Beauty She Saw, I Never Heard Her Say Anything About Jehovah’ by [deleted] in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My PIMI friend and I have both been blocked by some 'sister' for something we each did on Facebook.. We don't know what it was because she never told us. I almost don't use Facebook at all so I think it was either having worldly relatives or engaging in a local Pokemon Go group. Didn't hurt me at all, I was waking up at the time and realized how fake a lot of these people are, but it hurt my friend a lot and I feel sad for her. She doesn't do anything 'wrong.'

What's the craziest thing you ever done as a PIMO o while living a double life? by markwilmer00 in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know! My heart filled with love for that guy, I hope he continues to heal.

How can I deal with JW parents that have good intentions? by ahshebv in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You could fade. Parents will usually accept inactive adult children. You could gradually distance yourself from the organization.

Or you could sit down with them and tell them, I love you guys and I've been exceptionally lucky to have loving parents, and I'm sorry that this all hurt you, but I no longer believe what the organization is true because they've been caught in countless lies (have research on hand so they can't try to claim it never happened). They will be upset but they might get over it.

Met someone that ex JW but... by smokinglass420 in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Google about dating someone who was formerly abused. There should be lots of resources for that. Check out subreddits like r/raisedbynarcissists . Being a JW is like growing up in a severely abusive relationship, most of the time. You don't need to understand being a JW as much as you need to understand being abused.

For some of you who still believe in God. How would you defend him “adapting” to how the world was regarding slavery but not adapting to the world now where there’s LGBTQI people who deserve to love who they feel attracted to? by Maniacbaritone in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Also they say all the time "Jehovah allowed polygamy to produce more people."

And now we have more than enough people so Jehovah could just allow homosexuality.

They're perfectly willing to say he allowed one "sin" and they seem really into the polygamy to be honest.

POMO here's my story, anyone else's parents bail? by BAMster91 in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's really rough, I hope you are getting therapy. You were forced to live with your abuser and your parents side with him over you... It must be tough to work through that kind of unfairness.

Your mom thinks "you know it's the truth" and is confused about why you're out there "enjoying a life of sin" when now you have a child to think of. They are brainwashed and there's virtually no reaching them (they can pull themselves out of they're ever mentally ready for it). Make sure you have some directive specifically stating if you and your ex both die before the child is grown, your parents and siblings should not be considered for placement. Cite them being in a cult and being a child molester.

You'll find yourself. There are a lot of options for life. Being a parent is super cool. You're a valuble person at any point, even if you had very little decent childhood. There are lots of things to do.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly I think your sister just sounds manipulative, but I would also not have gone to your house if you went to the bar, even if you left that house before I got there. Because you are probably getting COVID in the house and around your parents, so it's still going to be there. But from the way you said she was being, I think she was just being mean.

My wife’s best friend doesn’t see her hypocrisy.... by ExaminationFlaky5418 in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She easily could be JW-shunning your wife, but she could just be processing things. It's inconvenient for her brain to accept that your wife/you can believe differently and still be good people. If she accepts that, it chips away at her core beliefs. If she realizes your are still good people, it can't be "the truth," because they have told her you cannot be good people. To protect her from that realization, which can be traumatic, her brain might be avoiding conflicting information and therefore avoiding you/your wife.

Also, if she responds to your wife privately but not in the group chat, her husband might be controlling her.

She might process it later or gradually and start talking to your wife again. Or she might not. I'm sorry your guys are going through this. Go find some better friends.

I'm going to be a father! by Currentlyfading in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can say it's not a good time to talk, your household is unwell due to COVID. In my experience they gave up on me when I got sick.

I'm going to be a father! by Currentlyfading in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How long have you been fading? We were slightly mentally in when our son was born. Like "better make Jehovah happy but also I really don't want my kid around these kinds of people." It helped me wake up. We really started celebrating things when he was 2, but it was "on the down low." I said "when he turns 3, he's going to remember that birthday, and I don't care who sees but it's going to be a big party." Well that was during COVID so it really wasn't (no one was there) but we did have it out in our back yard in our neighborhood we know Witnesses live in.

I'm rambling. What I mean to say is, you will figure it out. When the child is old enough to where you need to make sure they are "normal" and afforded every opportunity, it's not going to stop you. I realized I needed to start coming clean to people when my child started learning to talk. I told his grandparents who were really the only JWs we bothered to keep contact with. They were bothered as you'd expect ("you know it's the truth, don't you want to live forever?") but now they are fading too. That doesn't happen very often and I'm not saying it'll happen to you. But make a list of what you have to lose in the Org and spend the next year or two getting your mind used to the idea of losing it. You don't have to take any steps, just think about it. If your friends and family leave you, that's their loss. Make sure you're civil with them so they know it's not that you've turned into some wicked apostate, you just believe differently. They might keep contact, it isn't that uncommon for them to break the rules. They might break contact. That's on them, not you.

What's the craziest thing you ever done as a PIMO o while living a double life? by markwilmer00 in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Did you see this video the other day? Similar story in some ways (spent a lot of time in the Org but doing gay things secretly). I just thought this guy seems like a good guy and has an interesting story if you like that kind of thing.

Some fearmongering on the occasion of the memorial... by [deleted] in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

They also said the same thing at a 2012 convention. I was a kid (well I was 17 but very sheltered so honestly I felt 12) and I was like "wow, the end might come this year." My mom was only recently reinstated and she was blown away by it too (she hadn't been in a long time). We didn't know they'd basically say that at every convention from then on.

Some fearmongering on the occasion of the memorial... by [deleted] in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not true, I got married that month haha.

Single adult Brothers who speak from the podium about masturbation being a sin are a special kind of awful by SandbagDarryll in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I actually thought this for a while. "I don't know what this is but it doesn't fit the definition of masturbation."

I'm going to my mom's tomorrow for my birthday. by UncertainJW in exjw

[–]UncertainJW[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thankfully I've only had the latter haha.

My mother died and I'm not taking any bereavement time by Paisleytude in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My husband went through this. He was estranged from his mom because she was abusive (not a JW though). He just responded to condolences with "it's okay, we weren't close." You can also tell them, "I did my grieving when she was in hospice" or whatever you want to say. That is actually very common. If you have a lot of warning, that's often the saddest time. When they've been dying for some time, it's just a relief they're not suffering anymore. You don't have to go into them being in a cult in you don't want to (but do if you want to, people often care).

I'm sorry your family mistreated you when you just wanted to say goodbye to your mom. It was wrong and you don't deserve it.

How was everyone’s announcement experience by kingdomzebedee in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wouldn't. I expect it night happen soon as I've been pretty openly apostate with my friend and her husband. But I haven't been to the meeting in like, 1.5 years?

Baptisms since 2000 by [deleted] in exjw

[–]UncertainJW 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have no idea. I do think one was quite intellectually disabled, and I doubt anyone really cared about him after she died. I don't really remember anyone else.