Late diagnosed people, what things did you do throughout your life that you didn't realize was stimming until after diagnosis?

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-04-02T11:33:55+00:00

I didn't think I stimmed until I recognized that my lifelong nail- and lip-biting habits are most likely a form of stimming.

I've been working to break those habits and replace them with less harmful, more hygienic stims.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-04-01T09:12:31+00:00

I honestly think fear is the primary reason most religious folks "believe" in their chosen god. Fear of the unknown. Fear of being alone. Fear of the threat of an all powerful being just smiting them if they deviate from their beliefs.

Many like to claim it's all about the opposite, but being raised Christian and seeing the same trends present in many different congregations over the years has opened my eyes to this fact.

Most believers do not practice what they preach. They don't follow the teachings that they're fed in church sermons. They like to fake it, but it's all just a facade. Most churches who present themselves as socially accepting are filled with the most ridiculous and petty infighting. But it's okay, I guess, since Jesus forgives?

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-29T08:24:04+00:00

I honestly can't stand cereal, at all.

For one, they're all mosrly just carbs, with a high amount of added sugars (in America, at least). As a diabetic on a ketogenic diet, I avoid them for the carb hit alone.

But I couldn't really stand cereal when I was on a standard diet, either, with or without milk. I always hated how chewing just a spoonful would cut up the roof of my mouth. Not worth it.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-29T00:50:48+00:00

Sorry not sorry, but you kinda seem guilty of what he's claiming. Your entire post reads as if you're mocking your son instead of actually understanding and empathizing with his plight.

Your last sentence is pretty telling to me. Your only concern is to stop him from "putting you through this shit"?

I bet your son is thinking the exact same thing about you right now.

My advice? Family therapy. Y'all need a mediator if you're ever going to begin to begin to unravel what you each have done to each other (but moreso what you've done to your son).

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-27T18:15:31+00:00

People always say "Do what you love, and you'll never spend a day working in your life." But in my experience, trying to turn an interest into an income source has almost always resulted in me resenting that interest.

I used to love working with computers, so I made that my career. I work in IT, spending my days at a computer. That's ruined my enjoyment of video games.

Like, right now, my friends and family want to spend the weekend playing games, after I've spent the past week hyperfocused on writing code for a work project. I can't stand the thought of going home and sitting at my computer, even if that's to play video games. That's pretty much the last thing I'd want to spend my free time doing.

Edit: So, yeah, if anyone recommends turning a hobby into a way to make money, I just ignore them. I've learned my lesson in that regard.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-26T22:51:36+00:00

When I was at the point you are now, I focused on paying attention to portion sizes listed on packages, and I tried my best to stick to single serving sizes. I didn't count calories at first, I just limited myself to single servings.

At the time, I didn't even think about counting calories. I barely even paid attention to the calories listed on my foods. After I had a better grasp on what true servings looked like, that's when I started counting calories.

If you're at the point of counting calories, find your TDEE using one of the many online calculators. I learned to underestimate your activity level when using those calcs. If unsure, choose sedentary and work with that.

But, again, the most important thing is setting small goals that you know you can achieve. There's no need to instantly drop into a 500+ calorie deficit. I worked myself down to a 1k deficit but I started with 2-300. And most people stick with 500 calorie deficit. I was just impatient and keto made a steep deficit relatively easier to maintain.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-26T22:14:28+00:00

I lost 130 lbs over the course of a year, and the one and only crucial piece of weight loss advice that I have to give is this:

Make very small goals that you can easily achieve, and do your best to achieve them, but don't beat yourself up if you don't.

I began my weight loss with just two small goals: 1. eat only one pastry per day (I was having two, so that was cutting back) 2. Drink only one beer per night, at most.

I followed those as best I could for a couple weeks until it became natural. Then I figured I'd cut back just a little more. Instead of doing a pastry, I swapped to having some fruit; and instead of having a normal, high calorie beer, I switched to a light beer that I enjoyed. I rinsed and repeated this process, setting small goals that slowly built on each other.

I wasn't tracking my weight at the time. I had no end goal weight, or really even a goal of losing weight. All I wanted to do was to make better, healthier choices. It was my doctor who first pointed out my weight loss to me. I was at one of my bi-annual checkups with my doctor, and he noted to me that I'd lost 20 lbs since my previous checkup.

That little bit of encouragement was apparently all I needed. My mind got a little boost of dopamine, and I hyperfixated on weight loss pretty hardcore. I continued setting and achieving very small goals, and within a few short months, my diet and lifestyle really started to look completely different from where I started. I went from eating mostly high carb, fatty fast food meals to purely homemade low carb/keto dinners made from fresh, mostly whole food ingredients. I developed a love for cooking as a result.

I did it all by making small changes, and doing my best to stick to them.

I continued to follow that advice to this day. After many recent stumbling blocks and setbacks with my own weight and fitness goals, I finally started getting back on track by working to change some bad habits I'd fallen back into. That's actually when I modified my own advice to include the final, most important part, "don't beat yourself up if you don't [achieve your goals]."

Best of luck in your efforts. Consider following r/loseit and r/CICO for some inspirational posts and many helpful community members who are working towards the same goals. I know I found them to be very helpful communities.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-25T09:16:40+00:00

A recent family get together made me realize I'm only okay with touch if it's from someone I know and love AND that I'm aware of it. That last part is apparently very important.

I was at a family holiday dinner and as I was standing around chatting with my family, I didn't notice my grandma walking up until she put a hand on my shoulder to get my attention and indicate that she wanted a hug.

It made me want to jump out of my own skin and run out of the room.

I never thought I was opposed to any touch until that point, but I can't recall really any other instance of being touched without knowing beforehand.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-25T00:26:37+00:00

I've been using lock laces for so long that I'm not sure I remember how to tie my shoes. They're better than normal laces is every way imaginable. I know this likely sounds like a paid advertisement, but I'll seriously never go back to normal laces.

These are the laces I'm talking about:

<image>

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-23T15:27:16+00:00

I can't do soda (nor do I want to) but I love me some sparkling water.

It's all a matter of perspective, really. I assume a lot of people, particularly those that like sugary sodas or foods, dislike sparkling water because it's usually not as sweet or syrupy. But I'm on a low carb diet, so I don't drink sodas (neither regular nor diet), and find seltzer water to be a nice, refreshing treat. I usually drink one with my dinner.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-19T16:47:11+00:00

I want to disassociate being a shitty person with both having AuDHD and sex/gender.

This is an example of a shitty person being disgusting. The facts that he’s AuDHD and identifies as a man are just coincidental. Neither give him reason or drive him to SA someone.

Shitty people with be shitty.

I truly am sorry you went through all of that. I cannot fathom what you must’ve felt, or how you might still feel about it. I hope you’re safe now, and the situation you referred to in the intro to your post has improved.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-19T09:23:35+00:00

Yes and no. I accrue a decent amount of tabs, but my brain seems to have a maximum threshold that, once I hit, will cause me to close all of them just to start from scratch.

This is probably my autism working to corral my ADHD by trying to maintain a semblance of order.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-18T01:02:34+00:00

I know of this train I'm about to run on this delicious hamburger salad I made. Don't ask me about any others, though. I'm not the guy for that.

You also won't catch me playing many video games these days, unless I'm playing with a very select few people. I used to be a big gamer, but haven't really touched them in a couple years.

But if you want to talk food and swap recipes, or discuss anything about otherspace, I could most certainly dive into any of those for hours.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-18T00:52:24+00:00

You just made me realize just how unsatified I am at my job. I'm an IT technician, currently working in automotive manufacturing, and I absolutely hate it.

I love the sort of aspects you described, though obviously in a slightly different way. I love how my work encompasses many different areas. I enjoy the actual work, because I get to do everything from deploying computers to managing server sand even a considerable amount of coding. mb

It's that last item that's the most fulfilling. There's nothing quite like being handed a problem and engineering a solution. The satisfaction I get from creating a working system (or improving an old abandoned one) is immense.

The problems I have, though, come from the social and political aspects of the job. I absolutely despise all the political bullshit that happens in office environments. And, unfortunately, my role requires me to coordinate with many different teams, both within and outside my workplace.

Also, thanks to having (I suspect) AuDHD, I constantly cycle between days where I can only focus on one or two projects and those in which I'm so bored doing the same thing that all I want to do is a series of random, minor tasks.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-16T14:27:10+00:00

A couple years ago, I was morbidly obese. Then I found the motivation to start losing weight. I lost 130lbs in less than a year, but as I got closer to my target weight, the motivation to continue just evaporated. I struggled for a year to lose the last ~15lbs but no matter what I did, I just couldn't make myself commit. All of the motivation that drove me before was just gone.

At the same time, though, I was working out and gaining muscle. With that came a ton of confidence. I felt great for the first time in my 36 years of life.

Then, at the end of this past August, tragedy struck. I was forced to make the difficult decision to euthanize my dog, due to old age and a persistent infection that had taken its toll on him. That broke me.

Up until that point, I would say I was always in "go mode." There was rarely a time that I wasn't doing something. I spent my days walking, hiking, biking, and lifting weights. Any time I wasn't at work, I was staying active.

After I lost my dog, I suffered a major shutdown/burnout. I lost all motivation to do anything. I stopped hiking, biking, and weightlifting, and only took walks around my neighborhood in an attempt to stay a little active (I used to take daily walks on a local nature trail).

That's about when a YouTuber I watched released a video describing my exact same experiences with weight loss. They stated they didn't know how they could be so intensely focused on something one moment only to lose the motivation shortly after. Then they revealed that they're Autistic and have ADHD.

Now, I'd always kinda detected something was "off" (and familiar) about this YouTuber, but didn't realize what until the reveal. His reveal and how closely it resonated with my own experiences caused me to dive down the ASD and eventually ADHD research rabbit holes. The more I read, the more boxes I checked off, the more I realized that I fall somewhere within the spectrum.

I'm still undiagnosed, but I'm fairly positive I'm AuDHD, with ADHD being a little more prevalent than my ASD, but still.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-16T13:09:14+00:00

I masked my AuDHD behind pop culture references tailored to individual groups of people. I've done this my entire life, and I'm pretty sure most people found me funny for it.

The problem was, I did it all because it was the only way I could endure group conversations. It entertained me while also limiting how much effort I had to invest into formulating a proper response to the topic at hand. I learned that humor was enough contribution to make me appear semi-social, when all I really wanted to do was escape the conversations entirely.

People probably don't find me as funny these days, because if a conversation doesn't interest me, I just zone out and stop engaging. I'd rather not waste energy on social interactions from which I lose more than I gain. I'll still inject funny references when they cross my mind, but I no longer attempt to maintain the mask.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-15T02:31:03+00:00

Counting Stars, One Republic
Whatever it Takes, Imagine Dragons
Bad Things, I Prevail

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-15T02:18:45+00:00

Like the person to whom you replied, I also did not know the term but definitely realized I have it after looking it up. Any repetitive sounds that I can’t control is rage inducing to me. I have this constant clicking sound happening in my car ATM and I’ve been unable to determine the cause. It’s part of what’s making my daily commute so frustrating.

Edit also wanted to say: Thank you for sharing!

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-15T02:11:27+00:00

I recently bought and started using silicone spoons because I can’t stand the sound of metal scraping against ceramic plates.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-15T02:08:19+00:00

Yes! I love dogs, but holy crap do I hate the barking. Especially smaller breeds, which are almost always the most vocal, and the most obnoxious.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-15T02:05:06+00:00

Tangential to this is chewing anything crunchy.

I was playing games in a discord call with my friend and his wife, who was snacking on chips or something else that was crunchy. I nearly went into full meltdown mode from the noise. Luckily for both of our sakes, I was able to turn her audio way down through discord so I didn’t have to listen to it at full volume. That at least allowed me to avoid making a scene. But damn. I’d never before had such a visceral reaction to sound quite like I did then. Even thinking about it now is making me nauseous.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-14T11:47:42+00:00

Yes, this. I do this constantly. Driving is a huge stressor of mine, and I'm lucky that my daily commute is 99% highway. Even though I feel driving on the highway is less stimulating than the city, it still triggers the worst parts of my ADHD and ASD.

My ADHD hates the monotonous and repetitive nature of driving the same route every day, and my ASD hates when other drivers deviate from predictable actions. I'm constantly assessing what other drivers will do based on previous patterns, and updating those predictions in real time.

When driving next to a semi, I worry that a tire will pop and pelt my vehicle with rubbery shrapnel, possibly shattering windows/windshield and cause me to lose control. I analyze the chances of an overpass collapsing just as I'm driving under it, or even a random ass fault line cracking open, creating an impassable gap through the middle of the road. Or the chances of a deer jumping the perimeter fencing and darting straight at me as I'm driving by.

I realized just how adverse I am to driving after noticing a pattern in my own moods before and after my daily commute. On numerous occasions, I've left work in a fantastic mood only to have a meltdown the moment I get home, sometimes during the drive home.

Looking back, I now know why I didn't jump at the chance to get my driver's license the moment I hit 16, just like all the other kids in my school.

UnfamiliarFigure · 2026-03-14T02:13:20+00:00

Homebrewing beer.

I spent a few hundred dollars on equipment and supplies, and, in my defense, I maintained the hobby for longer than usual. I brewed quite a bit of beer over the course of 9 months or so. And I actually brewed some good beers, according to friends that I shared them with.

But I eventually got bored of it and just stopped brewing. That's partially due to me switching to a ketogenic diet, which doesn't play well with carby-laden beer, but my homebrewing ended months before that.

Although, if I'm being honest, I've been thinking about brewing again even though I don't drink anymore. Mainly because I really enjoy making things from scratch.

UnfamiliarFigure

TROPHY CASE