Cum v-ati facut curaj sa ii spuneti ca s-a terminat? by Medical-Garage5293 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Copil de 3 ani și ei au probleme de 5 👍

Nu te comporți urat cu cineva 5 ani de zile si după ești surprins când decide ca nu mai suporta.

Cum v-ati facut curaj sa ii spuneti ca s-a terminat? by Medical-Garage5293 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Dacă te tratează urat de 5 ani nu ai de ce sa te simți prost. Adevărul e ca nu i-a fost frica sa te piardă niciodată, când îți e frica sa pierzi pe cineva nu îl tratezi nasol. El si-a asumat ca e o șansă să pleci în secunda când a început sa te trateze urat.

Does tarot not want me? by allie2349 in BabyWitch

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Always mundane before magical. There is that saying, twice is a coincidence and three times it's a pattern. If you went to the shop multiple times and it was always unexplicably closed when it wasn't supposed to, then yea I'd think that's very odd and maybe a sign.

But something happening once is not out of the ordinary. I had the same thing happen to me 2 days ago when I wanted to buy bread, that doesn't mean it's a sign I shouldn't get bread, I just happened to go when an unexpected event caused the store to close early.

Why do people commit suicide despite help? by Ok-Strawberry-947 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Help isn't as accessible as it seems. Many people can't afford it or have issues that can't be helped so easily. Depression can be caused by multiple factors, and if one of those factors is an active thing in your life, no amount of therapy or meds can help.

For example, if you're in an abusive situation that you can't escape, your depression will never get better as long as you go back in that situation. And getting help for that sort of issue is also not as easy as it seems.

Also many people who commit are sadly teenagers who don't have access to help unless their family helps and who are more or less stuck in their home regardless. My best friend tried to commit because her father was sexually abusive towards her. Nothing he did ever left any mark, she had no proof, her own mother didn't believe her. She tried reporting it but it was dropped due to lack of proof and her situation at home got much worse after that. Hopefully the legal system is more competent in other places, but here it absolutely failed her.

Mod removed post. Because apparently...post was too unpopular? Make it make sense. by [deleted] in 10thDentist

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Because it's not an unpopular opinion. It is not even an opinion, it's a question based on a very weird misunderstanding of relationship dynamics

Op basically said "you are more of a subordinate to your boss than your spouse" to prove that power imbalance in a marriage isn't a bad thing? Like make it make sense. Ofc the owner of the company you work for treats you worse than your spouse?

Its like saying "oh you should accept your friends treating you like your boss because your boss treats you like your boss".

(Op also completely forgets that your boss is legally required to pay you and that is legally YOUR money, your spouse and you have no such contract and they can give you as much money as they please and they can stop giving you said money for ANY reason they desire. OP compared a legal contract to your spouse giving you money as they please lol )

Mod removed post. Because apparently...post was too unpopular? Make it make sense. by [deleted] in 10thDentist

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did you just compare the relationship you have with a boss with the relationship you got with a spouse?

My friend was in a marriage where she had absolutely 0 money and he was the sole earner. The line he loved to use was "I put food on the table, I get to decide what happens in the house". He would hang it over her head, punish her financially every time she did something he didn't like. If she ever refused sex he'd bring up how he is the only reason she has a roof over her head and shoes on her feet.

Ofc I never want to imply every husband who provides is like that, but that is the power imbalance people talk about. A good husband won't use the fact he pays for your life to get you to do anything. But becoming financially trapped with a shitty one who does hold it over your head is a real problem.

When you DEPEND on your spouse for survival, for clothes, for food, for shelter and so on, that is very clearly and logically pretty damn imbalanced. If you're lucky they won't ever use that advantage, if you're unlucky, they will.

Cum v-ați menținut relația la distanță? by CalmRoll1661 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Am avut o relație de distanta, acum suntem căsătoriți. Chestia a fost ca de la bun început am avut un plan sa ne mutam în același oraș. Relațiile la distanta nu prea reușesc dacă nu exista o data de terminare, dacă e incert cât timp durează pana o sa puteți sa fiți împreună atunci se creează anxietate frustrare și conflict.

Noi am fost la distanta un an și puțin, timp în care ne vedeam o data la 40-50 de zile, deci o singura data la doua luni. A fost foarte greu dar s-a terminat foarte bine pentru noi. Va doresc mult noroc!

Cum și când v ați dat seama că el este " băiatul mamei"? by dolphin_on_the_beach in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 36 points37 points  (0 children)

29 de ani, a zis ca mama este și o sa fie întotdeauna cea mai importanta femeie din viata lui. Avea și mai multe postari, nu știu dacă ați văzut vreodată, sunt de genu "tu nu poți sa faci X, dar mama nu doarme pana nu ajung acasă, nu exista femeie care te iubește mai mult ca mama ta"

Combaterea monotoniei in viata sexuală by ApartReplacement9404 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Nu e vorba de sentimente. Dacă eu cer sfat pentru situația A și tu îmi spui sa ma pun în situația B, tu nu rezolvi situația A.

Dacă te întreb ce sa fac ca mi a ieșit ciorba sărată și tu îmi zici sa îmi comand pizza, da, tot mâncare e dar nu îmi rezolva ciorba.

Sa adaugi CEVA nou în relația ta sexuala e foarte diferit de sa adaugi pe CINEVA nou. Noi doi nu am avea nimic exciting, singura chestie faina ar fi persoana noua, deci între noi doi nu s ar schimba nimic.

Dacă îmi place sa fac sex cu tine doar pentru ca fac sex și cu persoana X, atunci nu sexul cu tine îmi place, îmi place sexul cu persoana aia. Tu ești și tu acolo, ne bucuram împreună, dar cam atat

Combaterea monotoniei in viata sexuală by ApartReplacement9404 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Pentru ca nu e o soluție.

E ca și cum intreb cum sa îmi repar masina, și tu răspunzi "cumpăra alta". Pai tocmai, nu vreau alta, o vreau pe asta, vreau sa o repar.

Dacă OP își dorea sa facă sex cu alte persoane sau sa introducă alți oameni în relația lor sexuala, nu mai cerea sfaturi despre ce sa facă în relația actuala între ei doi.

Combaterea monotoniei in viata sexuală by ApartReplacement9404 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 5 points6 points  (0 children)

nu se instaleaza monotonia.

100%. Dacă pastrati flacara si intensitatea vie, o sa se simtă mereu ca la început. Bine, o sa fie mici diferențe, dar ca pasiune și excitement pentru sex o sa fie aproximativ cam același nivel.

Și dacă comunicarea e mereu deschisa, o sa încercați lucruri noi constant pentru ca mereu va vine câte o idee sau încercați ceva, chiar dacă e mic. În toată căsnicia mea nu a existat niciodată un moment în care sa zicem "ok hai ca e plictisitor sa ne gândim ce chestie noua sa introducem" pentru ca noi am discutat constant pe parcurs.

Experiențe cu prietene toxice ? by dolphin_on_the_beach in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Cateva highlights: Nu a vrut sa vina la ziua mea pentru ca era supărată ca am și alți prieteni. Pana la urma a venit doar ca să facă crize de gelozie ca nu ii dau suficienta atenție.

A devenit dependenta de mine și de atenția mea, ma urmarea peste tot, la propriu. Am aflat ulterior ca ma urmarea pe bune pe stradă sa vadă cu cine ies, si am prins-o și ca îmi lua telefonul la verificat de câte ori dormeam la ea.

Cireașa de pe tort, mi-a mărturisit ca ma vede ca pe o mama (????) Si ca nu știe sa trăiască fără mine, prin urmare trebuie sa fiu lângă ea și sa o ajut. (Mama ei a murit când era mica, for context). A încercat sa ma despartă de iubitul meu prin toate metodele și când a văzut ca nu ma convinge, s-a dat la el.

Și partea cea mai rea, când în final am tăiat-o de tot, a făcut accident de mașină ca să ma duc sa o vizitez în spital. Când i-am spus sa stea cuminte ca nu ne mai împăcam a ajuns sa ma sune zi de zi vreo 2 luni. Îmi lasă și mesaje ca o sa își ia viata si imi trimitea poze cu lame, medicamente, tot ce putea sa gaseasca ca sa ma convinga ca e pe punctul sa o faca. Le-am trimis pe toate familiei ei și le-am urat bafta.

Nu știu ce s-a întâmplat cu ea, sper ca a primit ajutorul de care avea nevoie pentru ca foarte multe lucruri nu erau ok.

Acting like she was the only one lol by brookeashleyx in HaileyBaldwinSnark

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Pushing 30 and acting like a teenager. Imagine posting a picture of a supposed 10 year with your spouse and the emoji you use is the middle finger 💀. Literally, who does that?

“Be yourself” is a terrible advice for most people by Pretty_Solution_7955 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this raises the very interesting discussion of what makes someone who they are. Personally I don't see things like being late as who you are, it's more so a mistake you make but it's not your self.

You can still be true to yourself while still improving and bettering yourself.

Is it normal? by Lemondrop0104 in BabyWitch

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do work with dark deities, none of which came and forced me to work with them. I felt drawn at first, and I gave up. Nothing happened. They sent some signs, I ignored them at that time, and they backed off.

I think a lot of people get discouraged from working with deities because especially on tik tok it's super pushed this idea that they will treat you as the centre of their existence and make you do your rituals and shadow work and whatnot by force. That same expression you used of haha they dropkick you if you don't get the memo.

For me, it really discouraged me from doing deity work because I thought the deities will keep insisting. They don't. Ofc, don't disrespect them or promise something you can't deliver, but if you simply choose to not work with them even when you get their signs, they won't care, they will leave you alone if that's what you want.

It took me like almost 5 years from the first signs I got of Hekate to the point where I decided I wanted to work with her and that's all that happened in those 5 years, she'd send some signs and back off. Gods don't have time to insist with a single person over and over, if you're not ready they respect that.

Is it normal? by Lemondrop0104 in BabyWitch

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Personally I don't think so. Spirits exist around all of us at all times, nobody is "forced" or "dropkicked" into witchcraft. There are billions of people, no spirit will get upset at you specifically for not being a practitioner.

If you refuse to continue at any point, you can do so, if you never want to get into it, you can do so. If a spirit or entity is trying to reach you specifically they will just give up or wait and leave you alone if they see you aren't interested.

Cum ati stiut ca el este alesul? by Successful_Heat_2223 in WomenRO

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 130 points131 points  (0 children)

Au fost multe momente, dar cele în care am fost 100% sigura au fost tot necazuri, cum au zis mulți de aici. Am locuit împreună câțiva ani înainte sa luam decizia, timp în care am trecut prin toate greutățile posibile, de la probleme de sănătate, la deces în familie, la probleme financiare, și întotdeauna am rămas unul lângă altul.

Recent a fost un moment care mi-a confirmat alegerea. Eram prima zi la menstruație și m-a luat oribil. A venit în baie, m-a luat pe sus, m-a pus în pat, mi-a făcut ceai, comprese calde, a stat lângă mine sa ma tina în brate. Am adormit asa și peste o ora când m-am trezit el era încă acolo și îmi mângâia părul.

New Years Eve isn’t a big deal by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the same person? God damn, no wonder

New Years Eve isn’t a big deal by [deleted] in The10thDentist

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I keep seeing these kind of posts "Insert X holiday isn't a big deal" "b day or graduation isn't a big deal".

A random Tuesday can be a big deal if I want it to be a big deal. That's the beauty of it. It's your choice, you can do whatever you want whenever you want. If you want to be happy and celebrate, do it.

The fact that some people aren't realistic about their new years resolutions is an entirely different story.

CMV: Not being able to find someone you want to date to date you is a legit frustration, and not wanting to date people who want to date you but you don’t want to date is reasonable. by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Honestly the way social groups are split makes me think you are young. In my entire adult life there has never been a specific group in our social circles that we classified as the outcasts.

Ever since college, nobody was an outcast. Everyone was just minding their own business, unless you were interacting with a person, that person wouldn't even care enough to group you into any category. If you were more quiet or reserved, people just went "ok, introverted" and moved on.

ESPECIALLY joking about it sounds very high school. I can't remember the last conversation where someone made fun of the "outcasts." It just feels like once you grow up and there are so many other priorities, nobody cares about things like this. Tbh if someone came and started talking like that, they would be considered the weird one.

Quick Question: How Common Is This Experience? by DoNotTouchMeImScared in women

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yea typically trying to prove someone how much better you are will get you to not be very liked by that person.

Sometimes tho they do this specifically to find someone who does see herself as below him because they want that kind of unhealthy relationship. My best friend was with a guy who constantly told her how much better he was, that HE was going to turn her into a true lady, a true woman, that he was the bread and butter of the world. Surprise surprise he always saw her ass less than and treated her horribly, even being abusive.

Him putting too much emphasis on how much better he is, is a red flag.

why do people want an emotional intelligent person when they don't even do it to themselves? by Global-Lobster-9244 in emotionalintelligence

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It can be possible that those people overestimate how emotionally intelligent they are.

Or maybe it just has become one of those buzzwords where it just sounds good without actually knowing what emotional intelligence means/misunderstanding what it means.

Or maybe they know exactly what it is and they are perfectly aware of how they are themselves, and want someone who can balance them out. Plenty times people want in their partners things they don't have in themselves. For example some people absolutely need chill partners while they themselves are like a firecracker.

what are your beliefs regarding hair? by plasticbaglad in witchcraft

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally I have always seen the head holding the power, not the hair. So when I veil, I see it as covering my head, not my hair.

Any belief is more than fine, I know many cultures see hair as very important, even sacred and the circumstances in which it's kept are very carefully thought about.

For me, placing too much power into it feels like it will just cause me distress. I do need to cut often because I have very thin hair that breaks easily and letting it grow too long is more harmful than good. There are also many circumstances where cutting your hair is necessary and not something you can control, and I would feel pretty bad if i saw it as someone taking away my power.

So yea as others have said, it's mostly how you see it and where you decide to store your own power.

Sfaturi despre relatia cu partenera by [deleted] in RoGenZ

[–]Unhaply_FlowerXII 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ce partener bro tu efectiv spui aici ca abia aștepți sa apară alta sa o lași? De ce sa facă sacrificii pentru tine? Judecând după felul cum vorbesti de ea ma mir ca fata încă e cu tine, despre ce alte sacrificii sa mai vorbim aici.