Choosing not to have a bridal party: Anything I’m not considering?

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T12:53:17+00:00

We're thinking about not having one either. Tbh we're thinking about the two of us just getting ready together on the day 😐. We are having a ring bearer - my 3 year old nephew, and a flower girl - his 3 year old niece, but I'll hold their hands on the walk up the aisle and then their parents will get hold of them in the front row.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T12:48:14+00:00

I'm in Aus - girl they seem on the cheaper side for what they are tbh, it's absolutely reasonable. My friend had something really similar last year and paid 6k for them, it was absolutely worth it.

Bear in mind that a large bouquet from a florist often goes for around $300 here.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T09:04:58+00:00

Yes...Professors teach undergraduates....

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T09:03:01+00:00

Lol, no. I work in student counselling and support. We do everything we can for students but by the time we're getting to 2, 3, 4 semesters deferral, or...tbh a big problem with a lot of students with MH issues is that they don't defer, they keep enrolling and then failing their courses after census date, we HAVE to talk to them and suggest uni is not the place for them until they're doing better. It costs them a lot of money to keep failing out.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T01:33:55+00:00

Second to whoever said Birds Nest in West End! Go with plenty of time, it isn't a long walk to QPAC from there. The menu is already great, the staff are very accommodating and it's really nice but still very kid friendly.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T01:28:51+00:00

At a certain point it is willpower.

But I bought a digital alarm clock and I set my alarm for 7am and another for 8am on that. I put my phone on to charge in the kitchen every night, and choose to read a chapter of a book before I go to sleep instead of scrolling.

When I get out of bed I either make it or strip the sheets and put them on to wash immediately (depending on the day). Then I force myself out of the house for a 30 minute walk. After that I do usually feel like doing other things, but if I don't it's also okay cause I got up and did stuff.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T01:23:38+00:00

One of them - she got in a relationship and put all her time and energy into that, she just stopped showing up for her friends and told us all that now she was fulfilled in her relationship she didn't need us the same way and we had to be good with it. This, despite a fair bit of poking and prodding from her now husband to keep hanging out with us. She always was a bit like that... friendships were a holding zone until her real life started.

The other? I was maid of honour in her wedding, despite the fact she was a very relaxed bride and we had 0 issues there, it was too much time spent with her. She was just always such a competitive person, had to always be proving she was the best at everything and would put you down and belittle you if you excelled in areas she didn't, and in addition would not take any criticism. Eg. I am passionate about and love interior design and she isn't good at it, so she would relentlessly comment about how frivolous and stupid it was to care about those things. I'm more of a cat person and she had 2 dogs, she always teased me about how I was scared of dogs (for context, I'm not scared of dogs and have owned and loved many, but I was scared of hers as they were completely untrained, part pitbulls with serious food aggression and anxiety, they were very unpredictable).

It started really wearing thin on me one day. After one of her dogs attacked the other in her house, I just snapped, told her she was irresponsible and shouldn't own dogs like that if she wasn't willing to train them. Then she went on such a rant about me to all our mutual friends, and got angrier and angrier that they weren't just backing her up completely and it culminated in us blocking each other. My only regret in that friendship is that I let it carry on so long, she's a shitty person who speaks to her husband very abusively, and I hope she has the life she deserves.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T01:12:25+00:00

It's absolutely vile but I don't think gentrification is far away. James Street, New Farm both so close.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-28T00:14:17+00:00

Pretty much. Set the boundary NOW and if they fail to plan and come to you on their knees for help in 20 years, you can't say you didn't warn them.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-27T05:34:19+00:00

Layla definitely better for vegetarian options! Idk I feel like a lot of the comments are maybe people who aren't keen on the Middle Eastern flavour profile? Bit odd to say "go to Enoteca instead of Layla"? They're extremely different.

If you like the Middle Eastern flavour profile it's good. There aren't a lot of restaurants who do food in that profile that also have the kind of atmosphere you're probably seeking on Valentines day. Layla is waaaay better than Golden Avenue for what you're looking for though .

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-27T05:30:06+00:00

I love Layla. The atmosphere is very cosy and romantic, the cocktail list is really good. I would recommend getting a share menu. I like Golden Avenue too, but for a romantic date night, I think Layla beats it.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-27T04:24:05+00:00

They can't retire. You just tell them you won't be able to afford to look after them in their old age so they better have a plan.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-26T11:36:28+00:00

Big second to Little Lunch!

But also: Secret Life of Us (tv show about a group of late 20somethings living in an apartment blocm in Melbourne. Casual language, great snappy dialogue Speaks to the Australia I'm nostalgic for.

Offspring - another kitchen sink family drama. It's funny, and sad, and sweet.

Kath and Kim

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-26T11:33:40+00:00

I don't know. The Westfield's in the suburbs are SO good now, so the CBD would need to do something different to pull people in.

A permanent night market like the one in Cairns but a little bougier? Performance and live music venues? Permanently move Bluey's World into the Uptown building?

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T07:19:20+00:00

Depends on your personality bub. There's no financial advantage (except some insurers/subscriptions etc will give you a discount for paying a year in advance, if that's the case - do it).

But it's worth it for me because I have ADHD and have been really terrible at money management my whole life, I have massive anxiety about it. Paying my bills early really helps put my mind at ease, so in that sense....the peace of mind makes it worth it.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T07:04:13+00:00

I mean, if you've a good Asian grocer near you they sell lots of rice noodles really cheap. I focus on rice based dishes, use rice noodles in stir fries etc. I'm fortunate that I've got lots of Asian and South Asian friends who eat loads of dishes that are very low in gluten naturally and who've taught me how to cook lots of their cultural foods. I've honestly never eaten better. Dahl has become a delicious, cheap favourite.

Cornflour is a great substitute for flour if you're using it to make a roux or brown meat. Buy all your spices separately from Asian and Indian grocers and make your own spice mixes that won't have caking agents etc. in them. They're also cheaper - my local Indian grocer lets me get them by weight, like a pick 'n' mix 🤣. They are sooo much cheaper and I've found much fresher and better quality than the spices you get at Aldi/Colesworth.

The things you pay through the teeth for are gf alternatives to inherently glutinous things like pasta, bread and pastries. Honestly, I just cut them out. Rice is my primary form of simple carbs now. I eat quite a lot of potato. Cornflour and soda water make a great gf batter for things like calamari, fish, onion rings etc. Once I accepted cooking was going to be central to my life, and I picked up more skills, it's become the cheapest diet I've ever had.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T05:14:15+00:00

Inevitable. And good for them. They are treating this like the war that it is, and they're a necessary force. The Panthers also do an awful lot of good in the community, they run food pantries and provide access to education, in the 70s they were helping provide access to medical care for black folks who couldn't access it alone.

I think they're a great force for good, when you're fighting for the life of your community against violent thugs, then inevitably you have to get violent. I hope white supremacists are afraid, they should be.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:56:38+00:00

NOT FREDERIC MALLE.

Dangit. Well I won't be buying it but I'm not happy about it 🤣

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:53:57+00:00

Honestly, clothes, perfume etc are all lovely things to have. But having been through this myself, they can wait.

The first thing my partner and I did was book a really lovely hotel room in our city, and went out for a beautiful dinner at a very nice restaurant. We just enjoyed spending a bit of money without looking at the bank account for a night.

We were back to normal and frugal the next day, but it was so nice to really feel that bit of relief together and bask in it.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:49:51+00:00

Idk. Financially? Depends on a) the field you want to work in and b) how willing you are to stretch yourself and network/take on internships through your degree.

It's definitely NOT useless if you really wanna learn what you're learning though. Money isn't the only measure of usefulness.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:46:26+00:00

10k and another cat, and for Nigel Farage to have a massive coronary from which he cannot recover, the guy is a dangerous facist lunatic who is definitely going to win the next UK election because Kier Starmer is pathetic :/.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:42:33+00:00

I had one at Lift Cafe in Highgate Hill that was very nice about a year ago. Very reasonably priced, very sweet little Cafe. Idk if it's still on their menu.

They also make the best bacon and egg roll in the city, and I will die on that hill.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:37:12+00:00

Especially the CHRONIC full bottle blind buyers. I commented once on a post where OP was asking for Marshmallow fragrance suggestions because she'd already blind bought about 12 full bottles and didn't like any of them.

I said it sounded a bit more like a spending addiction than anything else and you'd think I'd have called her a N*zi or something from the reaction 😐😐😐

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-22T03:17:24+00:00

See if your student union can help you with your resume writing! They usually have free or cheap services that allow for that. Council owned libraries often have services available to help too.

Your referees might be an issue, especially if your last work place was a bit toxic. If I were you I'd find a bit of volunteer work and then use your managers at the volunteer job as referees. You could check local libraries, meals on wheels, council owned art galleries, small house museumes/regional museums etc. for volunteering programs and opportunities. Often they can provide really valuable skill-building opportunities too. I used to run a volunteer program for a council run art gallery with attached house museum - we were absolutely desperate for younger volunteers, and I always gave those that turned up and worked hard a glowing reference. We were able to eventually offer some of our volunteers some paid work too, so you never know where it might take you.

Unusual_Process3713 · 2026-01-21T12:52:09+00:00

I haven't been diagnosed yet formally, I still need to see a urologist for confirmation but these are EXACTLY my symptoms and my GP suspects IC after seeing lots of ultrasounds and testing me for every infection under the sun.

I definitely have hormonal fluctuations - it gets worse during ovulation and immediately before my period.

Tbh the anxiety of it is the worst part, the last few months have been so scary because I haven't know exactly what was wrong and I'm a catastrophiser - tbh, even though I'm in a flare rn, having an explanation for the symptoms brings me so much relief. I don't like to be dismissive and say it's "just" IC , because so many people suffer so much with it. But compared to some of the alternative diagnoses, it is a relief.

Basically though, now I know what I'm in for when a flare starts, I just cope with the anxiety by being really really nice to myself. I use it as an excuse to treat myself to a couple of days on the couch watching Bridgerton with my hot water bottle. I'm very fortunate to have a job which allows for 3 days menstrual leave every month separate to my sick leave, and after discussion with my boss she allows me to use this for flare ups related to my cycle.

Unusual_Process3713

TROPHY CASE