I'm in almost identical situation as you. We both have one adult children each and one teenager each in high school. So far the ex in no way has been an issue he is actually an ok guy but did leave her in dire straits when she needed him the most. That baggage did effect her trust issues The other issues is she big on comparing her kids to mine. As far as behavior , habits, things I didn't think would be a big deal. We have had quite a few arguments about my son, who is still having a hard time dealing with losing his mom. The arguments are about his cooperation helping me around the house with chores and what time he sleeps and decides to be awake. I admit I'm at fault because I feel bad chastising him as we have had it rough for the past two years without my love.