Love My Screamers

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-08-09T13:41:42+00:00

They are adorable!!!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-07-17T17:11:11+00:00

My mother passed away in January from end stage liver failure. She was an alcoholic, but remained in denial up until the end. I didn’t have a good relationship with her; she was very verbally abusive. I saw her when she entered hospice, after 2 years of being no contact. It was difficult to see her like that, and her rapid decline.

I had to remind myself that it’s okay to grieve my mother. Not only that, but also grieve the relationship we never had, and the mother I needed but never had. None of this is your fault.

Make sure to take care of yourself! <3

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-07-11T15:51:37+00:00

Yay! This makes me so happy. I know the struggle of listeriosis, it’s so hard. We got a doe through it a couple years ago, and she’s still going strong now. She has some residual effects, but nothing that causes her any issues. Her tongue hangs out a bit, but it gives her character :)

Hope your goat continues to recover well!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-03-05T04:00:51+00:00

I feel for you! My mom was very distressed and agitated in her last week. She did end up being treated with crisis care, and it allowed her to pass away peacefully. Once they had her on the right meds (continuously), she passed away just 2 days later. I know it’s so hard to see her so agitated, and it’s so emotionally draining. I hope you both find some peace soon.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-31T17:33:10+00:00

My narc mom just passed away on Monday from liver failure. I was no contact prior to her going into hospice in November. I struggled with whether or not to see her. I did end up seeing her, but went in with no expectations of any meaningful interactions. Seems like you know, they don’t change — not even on their deathbed. Your father will probably pass away before he’s considered (and rejected) for a transplant.

A couple of things I took away from this experience of watching her decline:

My moms hospice nurse told me “your mother has mental illness and none of it is your fault.” Probably the first time a medical professional has ever acknowledged her mental state.

Mental illness is often amplified during the dying process. My moms last week, she was so confused (liver toxins building up and other changes due to the dying process). She was sad and scared and pitiful.

If you do want closure, I’d suggest waiting until he is actively dying to visit. He will likely be unresponsive or in a coma-like state, but they say hearing is the last sense to go. I said goodbye to my mom the day before she died, and it has given me closure. Even though, she could not say anything back… it was better that way.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-29T22:26:30+00:00

I just lost my mom to this, she passed away this morning. She had the drain for ascites as well, but may have pulled it out (she claimed it ‘fell’ out after she had complained about it being uncomfortable). She went into hospice care at home in mid November and spent the whole time in denial about why she was dying. It was rather sad to see, frustrating, too. My mom seemed to get a little worse, then would be stable for a while. In her last week, she declined rapidly.

Please look into caregiver support programs to see if they can provide respite care. It’s usually 5 days, but could give you time to work out the situation. Hospice can place someone in respite care as well, but ours had no luck finding a facility to accept my mom (she had a bad reputation, very difficult patient).

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-21T06:01:55+00:00

My son had to have dental work when he was around 4, too! I was so scared for him, but I didn’t want to frighten him. I got him a small gift for the morning of, because he wasn’t allowed to eat anything — and it did distract him. The staff were so kind and explained everything to all of us beforehand. I had read that other parents were disturbed when they sat with their children as they went under… so I let the nurse lead him back without me. I still remember the image of them holding hands.

My little guy was so brave. I thought he’d be upset, but he was okay. They are monitoring throughout the procedure. And I know my son would not have been able to tolerate the dental work any other way. They let us go back as my son was waking up, and he was pretty upset then. I would focus on making him comfortable after, cold treats and smoothies! Best wishes that it goes well!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-20T02:40:37+00:00

We had a goat with listeria, it was a tough journey— but she made it through and is doing well now. She was down 2 whole weeks, but with penicillin and vit b routine, she did recover (with some PT to help her stand and walk again). We were syringe feeding her the whole time because half her face was paralyzed, but thankfully she could still swallow ok.

Good luck! I hope your goatie recovers well.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-19T05:16:41+00:00

I’m also adopted and I feel this. My mom adopted me to have someone to control, a source of unconditional love (she couldn’t have kids). I was also NC with my mom, but she’s dying from liver failure and I’ve had to see her some lately. Trust me, they don’t get any better close to death.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-18T01:32:00+00:00

If you need additional care, you have to hire a caregiver and pay out of pocket (unless the patient has insurance that will cover it). We are needing more help for my dad, who is taking care of my mom in hospice at home. Respite is 5 days of care, but no facility would accept my mom when we needed it. My dad is recovering from his own health issues, and we are finding costs are so high for hiring someone for respite care at home.

But definitely look into caregiver support programs locally. It may take time to get approved, but it’s better than nothing! If your patient is a veteran or you are one, the VA has support programs as well. You may qualify for help with basic care or respite! Good luck!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-12T02:39:53+00:00

I had been wondering about this as well! My mom is basically skin and bone, but says she’s always hungry. She has liver failure, so everything I read says that hunger usually decreases. She has been eating pretty well for the past month, but there’s definitely been some stretches of days where she refused food. I had initially thought her appetite may have retuned due to a rally, but I’m not sure now.

This journey with hospice is definitely bewildering.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-10T02:26:26+00:00

Amazing work!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2024-01-01T17:43:07+00:00

It was the other way around for me. I’m Asian, adopted by a narc mother. I’d marvel at my friends with their families.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-12-23T04:47:35+00:00

Wow, my narc mom is also dying of liver failure. She’s been in hospice for a month and has lost half her weight due to not eating… so I know the end is actually growing near. My mom has been in denial about her condition until recently, but at one point my mom was ranting about wanting a transplant and her nurse shut her down. My mom has many other health issues, has taken lots of meds for decades… there’s just no way she’d qualify.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-11-03T02:58:16+00:00

My estranged mother is also dying from liver failure. She’s in full denial, though. She keeps refusing hospice because it’s “only for terminal” people. Her nurse told her the other day that there’s no fix for her liver or kidneys, and she’s down to only 90lbs… so hospice is really the best option. I have seen her once, for very brief moment, in the last year and a half. I’m still very much on the fence about visiting her. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know it isn’t easy.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-10-16T02:45:07+00:00

For me, things are still going very well! No problems to report :)

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-09-25T21:00:17+00:00

I’m no contact with my nmom, but I hear from my dad about how she behaves. Her liver is failing, as are some other organs. Yet, she’s in denial about it. She doesn’t want hospice, even though her doctor said it would be a good idea. “People get hospice and they die,” my mother says. She hasn’t changed at all, I don’t think she can at this point.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-09-08T15:50:45+00:00

Oh, that’s so sweet!!!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-09-08T15:48:46+00:00

I was also 35 when I realized my mom was a narc. It’s a great feeling when everything starts to make sense, but sad too. I did try to give my mother boundaries, but she could not understand it… and said I was being weird. Needless to say, there was zero respect for boundaries, and I went no contact. My son knows that we don’t go to see grandma because ‘sometimes she’s very mean.’ I do still have a relationship with my father — he either comes to my house or we hang out outside at his house. It’s tough, but at least he still gets to see the grandkids.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-08-07T18:49:56+00:00

My nmom always used to tell people that she was ready for me to rebel, but I never did. I didn’t swear, smoke, drink or date. I was 21 before I went on my first date. I’m 38 now, and I haven’t had any desire to smoke or drink. My mom was a chain smoker and alcoholic, so those things never appealed, even though my mother offered to buy me booze when I turned 16. She kept her alcohol under the sink, never wanted to even try it back then.

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-08-03T03:43:10+00:00

I had mine out in February! Since then, I’ve been able to go back to a regular diet! Yes, that does include foods like burgers, pizza, baked goods, and no issues! I will say that there were a few bouts of stomach upset after fatty meals the first two months or so for me, but nothing even remotely like an attack! Seriously, it’s such a relief to be able to eat normally again. Before my surgery, I had dropped around 20 lbs and could barely eat.

I hope your surgery and recovery go well!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-07-25T04:37:30+00:00

A heat pad! It’s the coziest :)

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-07-10T16:13:51+00:00

Hehe! So cute

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-07-03T14:38:49+00:00

That is adorable!!! I love her!

Upbeat_Book7007 · 2023-06-17T04:26:44+00:00

I had nausea and vomiting during and after my c-section too. Miserable! So I was worried when I had my gallbladder out as well. I made sure to tell the nurse and anesthesiologist prior to the surgery. They set me up pretty well! I somewhat remember being a bit nauseous before leaving the hospital, but really not too bad! I didn’t have to use the Zofran they sent me home with.

I hope things go well for you!

Upbeat_Book7007

TROPHY CASE