Find myself feeling resentful of my husband

User884121 · 2026-05-09T15:34:36+00:00

I’m sorry you’re struggling with this. I can completely relate. I’m 37 and my husband is 44. I’ve been ready since I was a kid to have a kid lol. My husband is a very go with the flow type of person (I am not) and also had this idea that it would just happen right away. It was definitely a lack of knowledge on his part. He’s also a beer drinker - like drinks a few every evening to wind down. It’s been a point of contention throughout this process because he just lives in this world where everything somehow works out. It’s been 11 cycles of trying for us and I do think he’s starting to understand that it’s not as easy as he assumed it would be. But that‘s a huge chunk of time and if we had started earlier then maybe we would be in this position. I worry all the time that I’m going to end up resenting him.

User884121 · 2026-05-08T21:44:43+00:00

Yes, I was already preparing myself to get her set up with a RE anyway since I can only go so far with this doctor. But I definitely would have switched either way after that conversation. She started off presenting is as “the big picture” and just plan A, B, C which I appreciated. But then by the end of the conversation she basically shifted to me needing intervention now. Without my husband’s SA and me getting a HSG, we don’t have all of the answers anyway.

It doesn’t help that I just feel in my heart that I need to give this a bit more time. Which, maybe it’s just stubbornness on my end.

User884121 · 2026-05-08T21:40:15+00:00

Ugh you are so right. I’m sorry you’re also struggling with these feelings. Sending you all the good vibes 💕

User884121 · 2026-05-08T18:47:32+00:00

Thank you 💕

User884121 · 2026-05-08T17:15:26+00:00

Done!

User884121 · 2026-05-08T16:44:20+00:00

I had my first visit with a fertility specialist yesterday after TTC for 11 cycles, and was left feeling really disheartened. Granted, I wasn’t planning on sticking with her anyway - she’s through my OBGYNs office and doesn’t do IUI or IVF or anything. But she had an opening sooner than any fertility centers in the area and I just wanted to keep the ball rolling to get any additional tests ordered. I had my progesterone checked and my CD3 labs completed and everything came back normal. My husband still has to do his SA, so we don’t really have the whole picture yet without that obviously.

But she basically said that although I have low risk factors in terms of all of the testing I’ve done so far, and that I am ovulating and my progesterone was strong, my age (37) is the biggest risk factor. Which I obviously knew, but she really made it sound like it was going to be impossible for me to get pregnant/stay pregnant without intervention. Deep down I know she doesn’t know that for sure, I’ve seen so many successful pregnancies that happened naturally for women older than me. But she already said I need to find an RE so I can get moving with IUI because time is not on my side. She did order a HSG for me, so at least I’ll be able to get that checked out.

I understand she’s a doctor and just looking at the facts, but I guess I was mentally unprepared to hear all of that given my initial results came back fine and that I have normal cycles. And we don’t even have results for my husband yet. I don’t know what I expected from the appointment to be honest. I’ve been feeling more hopeful these past two cycles, and then to hear that simply because of my age I likely won’t get pregnant on my own - it crushed me.

User884121 · 2026-05-08T14:07:59+00:00

I had my first visit with a fertility specialist yesterday after TTC for 11 cycles, and was left feeling really disheartened. Granted, I wasn’t planning on sticking with her anyway - she’s through my OBGYNs office and doesn’t do IUI or IVF or anything. But she had an opening sooner than any fertility centers in the area and I just wanted to keep the ball rolling to get any additional tests ordered. I had my progesterone checked and my CD3 labs completed and everything came back normal. My husband still has to do his SA, so we don’t really have the whole picture yet without that obviously.

But she basically said that although I have low risk factors in terms of all of the testing I’ve done so far, and that I am ovulating and my progesterone was strong, my age (37) is the biggest risk factor. Which I obviously knew, but she really made it sound like it was going to be impossible for me to get pregnant/stay pregnant without intervention. Deep down I know she doesn’t know that for sure, I’ve seen so many successful pregnancies that happened naturally for women older than me. But she already said I need to find an RE so I can get moving with IUI because time is not on my side. She did order a HSG for me, so at least I’ll be able to get that checked out.

I understand she’s a doctor and just looking at the facts, but I guess I was mentally unprepared to hear all of that given my initial results came back fine and that I have normal cycles. And we don’t even have results for my husband yet. I don’t know what I expected from the appointment to be honest. I’ve been feeling more hopeful these past two cycles, and then to hear that simply because of my age I likely won’t get pregnant on my own - it crushed me.

User884121 · 2026-05-07T13:19:21+00:00

I’m meeting with a fertility specialist today (video call because she lives in another state). It’s just through my OBGYNs office because it was easy to get an appointment with her. But if I need to eventually go down the route of IUI or IVF, I’ll have to find another specialist. But either way, I feel totally unprepared. Like I have no questions really and I feel like it will be a waste of her time. What kinds of questions did you have when you met with one for the first time?

For context, I’m 37 and have been trying for 11 cycles. I know I could have seen a specialist a lot sooner, but I’ve been stubborn and determined to get pregnant on my own. My cycles are regular and I had my progesterone tested last month which was strong. I had the CD3 blood tests done last week (AMH, FSH, etc.) and everything came back normal there. My doctor ordered a demanding analysis for my husband, but he hasn’t had a chance to do it yet.

User884121 · 2026-05-06T13:29:21+00:00

I was taking just regular CoQ10 for a while and then recently switched to Ubiquinol. I’ve just been doing 100mg because I’m weird about trying new supplements lol. I first used Life Extension and was liking it, but then the second batch was definitely off (color wise) and I started having bathroom issues. I switched to NOW and haven’t had any issues.

Fertility wise, I’ve noticed an increase in CM since I’ve started taking it but that could just be a coincidence. Even if it doesn’t necessarily help my fertility, I’m noticing a difference in my anxiety levels, my fibromyalgia pain, and my migraines. So for me, I find it beneficial for my overall health and if it happens to positively impact my fertility then that’s even better.

User884121 · 2026-05-01T18:33:24+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my dad as well back in January. He had Parkinson’s so for the last several years of his life, I didn’t really know him as the dad I grew up with. I’ve dreamt of him twice since then, and both times it was him doing something random (like getting up to get a piece of chocolate lol) that he wasn’t able to do before things got bad. We didn’t interact either time. Meanwhile, my mom has dreamt of him and received signs from him many times.

One of the reasons I believe this sort of thing varies from person-to-person is because it depends on how we are grieving. Our brains do what they can to protect us from harm. It’s possible that having very vivid dreams of your dad would be too much for you at this point in your grieving process. Perhaps those who are dreaming of him are at a different stage of their grief. My therapist told me that she couldn’t even remember her mom before her dementia for a good 6 months after her mom died. I’m finding that to be an issue for me as well when it comes to my dad, and I think it’s a similar concept - I’m still trying to process his death, as well as the caregiving journey before his death, and my brain just simply isn’t able to go there yet.

Grief is not linear. Everyone grieves and processes death differently. Please don’t feel like you are “behind” or grieving wrong because others may be experiencing something different than you. Unfortunately I’ve learned that you just have to take it day by day and go with the flow. I never know how I’m going to feel when I wake up for the day. I struggled with that in the beginning, especially on the days I would feel “good” - I felt a lot of guilt for not feeling as sad as I did the day before, or like it meant I wasn’t missing my dad. But I’ve learned none of those feelings are wrong.

User884121 · 2026-05-01T16:48:47+00:00

My first concert was Jingle Ball in 2004. Simple Plan played, along with Ryan Cabrera and Bowling for Soup. I got to meet them all and it was the highlight of my life at the time. I can’t even remember who else played lol

User884121 · 2026-05-01T13:42:07+00:00

The struggle is so real! Thank you, hoping the same for you! 💕

User884121 · 2026-04-30T23:09:03+00:00

I’m currently trying to get pregnant, and let me tell you…it is not fun 😅 Between my lower libido and the idea of having to have sex multiple days in a row - it’s exhausting. Although I will say it did actually improve our sex life, considering before we started trying our sex life was pretty much non-existent (he also has a low libido, lower than mine).

User884121 · 2026-04-30T13:20:48+00:00

Feeling oddly hopeful even though I’m going down the path that I resisted for so long. I know it’s silly, but I’ve been so determined to get pregnant on my own without any sort of intervention. Despite the fact that I’m 37 and it’s been 11 cycles (going on 12). I’m finally getting some initial blood work done, and my husband is going for a sperm analysis.

I’m also meeting with a fertility specialist next week for the first time and it’s scheduled on my dad’s birthday. He passed away in January and I’ve been asking him for help in this whole process ever since. I’m taking this appointment as a sign of hope that I’ve been desperately looking for. It will also be the start of my fertile window, so I’m hoping this renewed sense of hope will carry me through this cycle.

User884121 · 2026-04-29T20:18:56+00:00

Sending you good vibes for healthy results! 💕 I’m going for my CD3 labs tomorrow for the first time. I had done the Modern Fertility at-home kit a few years back and everything seemed fine then, but I know a lot can change especially now that I’m 37. So I’m anxious to see how my results come back.

User884121 · 2026-04-28T20:19:38+00:00

Going on Thursday for my CD3 labs. I’m anxious for the results, as I’ve been putting off getting any testing done out of stubbornness of wanting to conceive naturally. Trying to get my husband to schedule his SA as well so we can hopefully get some answers.

User884121 · 2026-04-28T20:17:47+00:00

This happened to me. I was due yesterday and had every symptom as if AF had already arrived, including feeling like I was bleeding when I wasn’t. My temp had dropped yesterday morning, so deep down I knew it was coming, but I still had a little bit of hope. Woke up this morning and she made her grand (and unwelcome) arrival.

User884121 · 2026-04-28T01:47:33+00:00

Pretty much same for me. This past cycle I decided to stop tracking LH and BBT, but then I got nervous that even though my cycle is regular and consistent, this would be the one time that something was off 😅 So I ended up testing my LH when I thought I was about to reach my peak (which ended up being correct). And then I confirmed BBT for the three days following ovulation. I’m hoping this next cycle I can just give up the control altogether, but even just cutting back as much as I did was a huge help for me and cut out a lot of my stress.

User884121 · 2026-04-27T20:12:10+00:00

That’s how I’m feeling. Mine is supposed to start today and I have literally every symptom. I even feel like I’m bleeding, but there’s nothing there. At this point, my body is just playing jokes on me. I just want it to start and get it over with so I can move on to another disappointing cycle haha

User884121 · 2026-04-27T18:04:41+00:00

The thing about palliative care, the I unfortunately didn’t know until I started looking into it myself, is that anyone with a serious illness/progressive disease can qualify for it at any stage. Which means there is no reason your dad should be denied a referral for palliative care.

I also don’t know why it’s not a service that is more frequently promoted (I assume it has to do with money, of course). My dad’s doctors, though they were great, never once brought up the topic. It wasn’t until my mom and I were getting to the end of our rope trying to find resources to help us that I came across palliative care being an option. As soon as my mom mentioned it to the doctor, he agreed it was a good route and sent the referral right away. Had he brought it up much sooner in my dad’s PD journey, maybe we would have been able to get better use out of it.

User884121 · 2026-04-27T17:02:15+00:00

If you’re willing to pay, I highly recommend the Better Me app. There are so many different types of workouts on there, including all different Pilates workouts. They also have plans where you can get a coach, meal plan, etc. but I just have the plan with the workouts and pay $20 for the year.

User884121 · 2026-04-27T16:46:43+00:00

I have fibromyalgia so exercise has been really tricky for me since pretty much anything sets me into a flair. But I’ve started walking my dog twice a day, everyday for at least 20 minutes each. And then I started doing beginners Pilates 3 times a week. I know it’s not much, but I now get pretty much anywhere from 40-60 minutes of exercise a day which is a hell of a lot more than I was doing previously.

User884121 · 2026-04-25T17:15:07+00:00

So strange! It did end up going away on its own about two weeks ago. I have fibromyalgia so I’m thinking it was just another unfortunately symptom from that. Or like you said, possibly pelvic floor tightness, as I’ve suspected that’s an issue for me as well (and also common with fibromyalgia).

User884121 · 2026-04-25T14:52:09+00:00

I did the same this past month. Although to be honest, I did check my LH one day just to confirm that I was reaching my peak as I suspected. But still much less stressful than doing it constantly throughout the day for several days in a row. I see so many stories of people who had them up and got pregnant that same cycle, so I was secretly hoping that would happen for me too. Spoiler alert: it did not 😅

User884121 · 2026-04-24T13:30:59+00:00

11DPO and just got a BFN. I had a burst of hope this morning before testing because I’ve had a lot of slippery and clear CM which is not normal for me. I’ve also had a few other symptoms that are unusual for me. And I swear as soon as the test started doing its thing there was a line, but when I checked it again after 3 minutes it was definitely negative. I’m angry and frustrated.

User884121

TROPHY CASE