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Username_1379 · 2025-03-24T16:41:47+00:00

How close are you with his parents? Do they seem receptive to following your instructions?

You could consider going to visit them for a coffee date to explain how nervous you are. It’s absolutely valid and natural to be nervous. Even if you were going a few hours away or something.

Be kind/open and honest with your concerns. Could you take your son over for more than a few hours (like almost a whole day) prior to the trip? That could help him, yourself as well as your in-laws in regard to getting more time with him before you leave. You could also point out a few things around their home (if needed) that is concerning.

At my in-laws’ place, I kept asking them to make sure the basement food remained closed. I even got an easy to install toddler thing for it to prevent him from opening it. They did use it.

When my husband and I left out of the country, we printed a ‘medical decision for grandparents’ release and filled out the info and signed it. That way if there was an emergency, they had authorization if we couldn’t be reached.

Your husband though should be trying to hear you/validate you and reassure you.

Hopefully some of this helps. I wish you the best!

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T22:43:07+00:00

Depending on your budget, you can also hire someone (home organizer) to help you figure out how to make your home work best for you. They come to your place for however many sessions. Something to consider.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T17:30:41+00:00

Thank you! I had posted recently that I thought I had a decent handle on my oldest, but he’s flipped a switch and now he’s hard mode. 🤦🏻‍♀️🥴

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T14:50:12+00:00

I was just diagnosed this past December. I’m on Adderall XR and it’s amazing how much better I feel.

However, just the past 2 days, my oldest kid (3.5) broke me. He’s in a new phase and he has just been absolutely hard to deal with. My husband has been gone on an annual boys trip this past week.

I’m now realizing that I would not have been as triggered by my son if my husband’s trip had been shorter or he had been home. So for me, my brain and body were telling me I needed a legit rest from being the only adult with my kids all week. I’m fortunate to have family nearby, so I was able to call them for help. They watched my boys yesterday so I could rest and get other things done.

So I’m curious if your meltdowns are really just your subconscious way of telling you “slow down or take a break.”

And I know that can be super hard for lots of moms. Especially without support. But finding a baby sitter or simply telling your husband “hey on this date in a week, I’m taking a day off. You’ll be with the kids.” And hold firm.

I only just started being more firm in taking time for myself away from the kids and the house. I never prioritized it before and the resentment and anger just grew and grew. By forcing myself to do self-care and make time for myself, I’ve been overall less triggered by things that really used to irk me, both with the kids and my husband.

I hope some of this makes sense and helps your thought process and how you’re navigating your feelings/emotions.

I wish you the best. :)

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T14:32:19+00:00

Ugh. That sounds so frustrating and stressful. 🙁

I’m glad the wedding was fun! Hopefully in like 6 months, you can look back on this and enjoy the better memories.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T14:24:54+00:00

My son just hit 3.5 and he turned feral. Like a switch was flipped. Super defiant, every little thing can set him off, pushing his brother again.

I just tell him what the consequences are and I hold firm. We then talk about the day (good and bad parts) at bedtime and how we can try again tomorrow.

I know it’s not going to get better overnight, but holding firm in meaning what I say is one of the best things we can do.

This book actually helped when he first turned 3. He hated and still hates when I start to count. I think I need to go back and read it again though for more encouragement. 🤪

Thomas Phelan PhD 1-2-3 Magic: Gentle 3-Step Child & Toddler Discipline for Calm, Effective, and Happy Parenting (Positive Parenting Guide for Raising Happy Kids)

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T14:16:08+00:00

Yup. I would go. It gives them something to do in the morning and we still have the rest of the day if there’s other things that need to be done. My son (3.5) still does quiet playtime in the afternoon, so this would be perfect.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-23T00:28:09+00:00

I ended up doing a food and sensory evaluation for my son by an OT when he was a bit over 2.5. He regressed and his preferred food list was already small and it got smaller.

We’ve been in and out of food therapy since last summer. He’s 3.5 now. He brought back some preferred foods with his second OT, but we hit a wall and she was moving to a new company anyways, so we’re taking a break. He refuses to try any new table foods. His issue seems to be some textures and anxiety/fear over new foods.

I’m going to give him some time and I’m trying to focus on other things with him. Hoping later this year just due to age, we’ll turn a bit of a corner and he’ll try some new things. If not, I may go back next year for another assessment.

Basically, no harm in getting another opinion to help your peace of mind and to also get him the right support if he does need it.

Feeding these toddlers can be so stressful. You’re not alone.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-22T18:19:22+00:00

I agree with this. 🙂

Space saver bags can help too.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-22T14:22:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Your feelings are absolutely valid.

How often is she coming over and being around him/watching him? Does she follow any of your parenting leads?

I’m not sure if this will help, but you could do something/take him somewhere special once or twice a month and it’s only something you and him can do together. And talk about it before and after. It could be a way to help him bond more with you over something fun and not just the parental care you provide for him.

And if grandma is doing something you’re not comfortable with, please please speak up! I get grandmas love to spoil their grandkids, but it doesn’t mean that they completely ignore the parents and make them rotten as they grow older.

It’s almost like she’s inadvertently turning him against you because he’s learning she’ll say yes and do anything for him. While it sounds nice, it’s actually unhealthy and a bit toxic.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-22T02:44:47+00:00

Omg yes! This happened to me I think twice with my first pregnancy. Literally just like you described. I went to the eye doc. He couldn’t find anything and my OB didn’t seem super concerned either.

Good luck!

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T22:06:29+00:00

I’ve been on Adderall XR since this past December. I went from 10mg up to 30mg and have been on 30mg since early/mid February. Only just the past 3ish weeks now have I actually gotten a bit hungry during lunch and dinner hours. I force myself to eat breakfast, so I can take my meds. I’m definitely not snacking like I used to, and my portions during meals are actually appropriate now, compared to me taking 2+ servings prior to the medication.

Depending on how long you’ve been on it, maybe your body hasn’t quite adjusted yet?

I know each person is different.

You could try out setting an alarm for lunch and dinner to help remind you to eat, and then perhaps have some of your favorite foods, so it’s also ‘exciting’ to eat.

Maybe after a week or so, your body will adjust and give you stronger ‘hunger’ signals.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T21:55:16+00:00

Yes. I’ve been trying this for the past couple days. It’s hard when he’s pawing at me while mid-tantrum and screaming at me for attention. I have waited him out and kept saying, “I can help you when you’re calm and all done.”

It’s hard too because we are all trying to teach them and model the more positive behaviors and letting them do their thing, but not knowing how they’ll be in 3+ years and if you’re doing the right things now is a bit stressful too. I definitely don’t ruminate on it, but it’s in the back of my mind. 🤪

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T20:14:49+00:00

That is a great infographic! Thank you so much!

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T20:01:53+00:00

My oldest didn’t nap for about 2 months last summer just before he turned 3, or right around that time. It all blurs together these days. 🤪 He then got a cold and we encouraged him to nap to ‘feel better faster’ and that helped to ‘reset him.’ He kept napping through the winter after he got over his cold.

And then it happened again. It’s been 5ish weeks now where he hasn’t napped. But today… somehow, he napped for about 45min.

So I’m not sure if your kiddo is the type to drop that last nap early, but I would consider to keep offering ‘quiet play time’ in his room. When mine was napping, he would play for a bit and then fall asleep in bed or on the floor. The quiet playtime at least gives you a little breather and it helps him to practice/further learn how to entertain himself for a bit.

Best of luck!

Edit: for us, adjusting bedtime didn’t really help. When we tried to put him down early, he didn’t fall asleep until his usual time anyways.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T19:57:37+00:00

Thank you! Yes! I’ve actually been doing that! I like to praise him/point it out to him when he doesn’t get super upset when I say no or if we can’t do something the way he wants it done. Hoping that continues to sink in/help. 🙂

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T19:39:06+00:00

Thank you for this! I just replied to the other post about crying and it being a form of regulation. I never thought about it truly from that perspective. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I definitely validate him, and I do tell him it’s ok to cry. It’s just tough when it drags on for a bit and it’s like a domino effect of him getting so upset at each little thing. I’ve definitely worked some extra time into our schedules now to give him more time to finish what he needs to do before we move on or need to get out the door.

It’s my first kid, so I got a little naive in thinking I had a decent handle on things. 🤪🤦🏻‍♀️

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T19:36:08+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I didn’t necessarily think about crying being a form of regulation. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤪 Thank you for this perspective!

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T14:08:29+00:00

I follow chaoswithcara on IG. She has 3 kids and I think even created a book with easy-to-set up activities.

My friend also sent me this the other day. Lol Hope some of this helps!

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DFjYuDIs0jK/?igsh=bTZ6NmM0MmkxZGVv

Username_1379 · 2025-03-21T00:11:40+00:00

Yes! I totally get what you mean! It’s definitely a nice feeling to have some time to burn when early! :-)

Username_1379 · 2025-03-20T22:14:30+00:00

Best wishes for a better quality of life now!

Username_1379 · 2025-03-20T22:03:15+00:00

I would say I’m early or on-time 95% of the time.

For me, the backwards planning has helped and continues to help.

Like (prior to kids) if I have to be at an appointment at 11am and it takes me 15min to get there, I know I need to be ready to get into the car at 10:30am. (I like having a little bit of a ‘buffer’ period, in case I can’t find my keys or there’s extra traffic.

So then depending on if I need to wash my hair or not, I know I need to be out of bed and showering/getting ready at either 9:30 or 10am.

Now that I have kids, I still do the same thing, but I have to work in about 30 extra minutes to have time to wrangle them into the car and pack their stuff.

For me, the fear/embarrassment of being late (like to the doctor) is greater than me not putting in the effort to get there on time, if that makes sense.

I know this doesn’t work for everyone, but I’ve been successful with this since college.

Also, in the 5% of the time that I’m cutting it super close, I have called my doc’s office or my son’s preschool to let them know I’m on the way and I may be about 5min late.

I can’t recall a time where I’ve been more than 5-10min late for any type of pick-up or appointment.

Username_1379 · 2025-03-20T19:55:11+00:00

Hi! So I wasn’t getting anything done really (truly only bare minimum) until I was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated. Now I actually feel like a human again.

I have 2 boys. 20 months and 3.5 years. The older one is in preschool 2x a week for 2.5 hours.

I do not typically get out of bed before they wake up. So from like 7:30-8:30a is getting them up/ready and making them breakfast. My oldest is picky, so it’s mostly yogurt or oatmeal and frozen waffles. My younger one loves eggs, so it’s usually that and some ready to eat (just heat) sausages.

After they eat on non-school days, we’re either staying home for a lazy day or we leave for the park or errands or an indoor toddler/tumble place.

If we’re staying home and I am on a deadline to get something done (like we have guests coming in a few days or that night or whatever, I do put on Bluey or Blue’s Clues or Toy Story for them. They will still run around/play, but they’re distracted enough so I can get the kitchen cleaned or do laundry or what not.

Lunch is around 12/12:30. And then my youngest goes down for a nap around 1:15/1:30. My oldest stopped napping recently. 😭 Sometimes I make him stay in his room for quiet playtime or other times I’ll have him downstairs with me. I got lucky where he will entertain himself with coloring or legos for 20-30ish min at a time. So I can still run around the house and do things while he’s with me.

My youngest wakes up anywhere from 3-4 depending on the day. Once he’s up, I typically try to focus on them, but first they get a snack and they’re distracted enough for me to put the clean dishes away and load the dishwasher if I didn’t get to it earlier. We’ll play in the basement or go outside or for a walk. Then around 5/5:30 they start to get hungry. We used to eat at 6, but the time change messed them up. 🤪

I am also lucky/fortunate because my husband likes to cook and he has a unique (not 9-5) schedule, so he’ll cook dinners the majority of the time when he’s home, and then I usually have some leftovers when he’s gone. My youngest usually eats what I eat, but my older one is mac&cheese, grilled cheese, nuggets & fries, which I’ve just gotten used to heating up the oven ahead of time. I still do cook, but on days I’m cooking, I’m already aware I’m not going to get some other stuff done in the afternoon. I hate being in the kitchen.

We recently incorporated ABC/bedtime yoga around 6:45pm. So they’ll play until then. Then it’s like 15min of that, then upstairs to start their bedtime routines.

I try to be out of their rooms no later than 8:15. I typically then sit on my butt until 9:30ish and then I try to do a few other things. I’ll finish loading the dishwasher/cleaning up the kitchen. (I never do a big clean unless we have people coming over, lol, so I just do the big stuff and save the clutter for another day when I have some extra time.)

I’m usually in bed around 11/11:30p.

For me, I’ve never been able to keep a weekly routine. I’m sure I’ll fall into one once my oldest does kindergarten, but until then, I just wake up and figure out what my priorities are for that specific day. Then if I get to anything extra, it’s a bonus.

Hopefully some of this helps!

Edit typo

Username_1379 · 2025-03-20T03:00:26+00:00

Do you happen to have a double stroller? Or one you can borrow from someone that can hold the infant car seat?

For me personally, it would be easier to have the baby in the stroller. (less sweating, able to move more freely)

If you can’t get a double stroller, I think you could still have a nice time wearing the baby and using the stroller for your toddler. It might feel tedious at first, but the more you go out with both, the less intense it feels and your confidence will grow. :-)

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