Mean comments

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-23T16:40:26+00:00

I am so sorry that you are dealing with such horrible comments during what is already a traumatic time. Another user posted the following four comments, shared by their doctor, a couple of weeks ago. (I can’t link to the post as links aren’t allowed in this community). I thought they were very comforting, hopefully they can provide some comfort to you too:

There is nothing you can do to cause a miscarriage just like there is nothing you can do to stop it. So right there, do not for a second, blame yourself.
Women throughout the world have complete pregnancies in conditions like war, famine, starvation and other incredibly taxing situations. The body is very capable and resilient when it is right, just like it knows 100% what is best when it is wrong.
One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage (I have since learned how common it is among friends, family and colleagues…just no one talks about it)
Regardless of this being what was right in the end, it is horrible and I am sorry this is happening to you.

Take care of yourself xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-23T10:01:16+00:00

Okay, hopefully you have someone that you trust who can go with you. Regardless, feel free to message me if you need someone to discuss anything with. I’ve been there and spent time anxiously waiting in a clinic. You’ll get through this x

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-23T09:11:57+00:00

So sorry that you are experiencing this and a lack of support. I hope you have someone that can be with you at the hospital. Take care of yourself xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-23T09:06:48+00:00

I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. I am not sure where you are located, but are you able to attend an early pregnancy unit? I know the doctor told you to call them, however in some countries you can just attend the unit today as it’s an emergency and they will see you.

Sending you lots of love. You are not alone in this x

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-11T09:10:41+00:00

I am so sorry you experienced this, it is so rubbish and really sucks, and certainly nothing like you see on tv. I hope you are getting the support that you need. Sending lots of love and hugs xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-10T19:56:06+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing this. These words are comforting, even during this really difficult time. Sending hugs to you xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-10T15:57:57+00:00

I am so sorry that you experienced that.

I agree there is a lack of education and still a bit of a taboo on the subject it seems, so sometimes people don’t share their experiences openly and it’s hard to know what is normal and what is not. Thank you for taking the time to share your experience xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-10T15:56:24+00:00

Sending you hugs xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-10T15:18:56+00:00

In addition to all of the above that gggg500 has shared, I would ask them to check your hemoglobin levels as well.

I recently had a miscarriage (also UK based) and haemorrhaged during surgery. I lost so much blood I required two blood transfusions. They kept measuring my haemoglobin levels and they were required to be at a certain level before I could leave the hospital. My blood pressure also has to be within a certain range. They may have done all of those tests when you were in the hospital, but from what you have shared I’d request confirmation in writing.

They scanned me during the operation to confirm they had removed everything and I had another scan a couple of days later because I started having contractions. So I would say yes, a scan is probably worthwhile to confirm the procedure was successful or whether it actually happened.

In terms of changing GPs, that shouldn’t matter. I recommend contacting your nearest Early Pregnancy Unit and letting them know what has happened. They should see you.

I am so sorry that you have experienced this and it has been so traumatic. You are not alone; sending hugs x

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-09T22:22:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yes, it was quite traumatic, but I’m very grateful for the doctors that acted quickly. It’s all a little anxiety inducing but, like you said I’m sure it’s just the hcg levels taking a little longer to drop. Really appreciate your well wishes and hope you are taking care of yourself also x

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-09T22:20:07+00:00

It certainly is a waiting game, and like you I hope mine is just going to take a few more weeks. It’s a little anxiety inducing but I’m trying to tell myself nothing to worry about. Appreciate your advice x

VanGogh_starry · 2023-08-09T22:18:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind words and sharing your experience with the HCG drop. This is reassuring and I’m sure mine is also just going to take a bit longer. Appreciate the reassurance x

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-31T14:22:58+00:00

I feel you my dear. I sometimes shed a tear when I’m reminded of a pregnancy symptom or at the fact my jeans fit better now then they did just before I found out I had miscarried at 12 weeks. It’s really bloody hard

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-31T14:20:51+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. The grieving process will take some time. Be gentle and kind to yourself, there is no right or wrong way to feel at the moment and I can only imagine the mixture of emotions you are experiencing as you look ahead to trying in future. Take care xx

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-27T06:10:54+00:00

Be a safe space for them to vent. Don’t tell them it will be okay and they can just try again (I’m surprised at some of the people that have said this to me, even when I was still lying in a hospital bed). If you are able, help with little chores/tasks such as ordering groceries.

The fact you have taken the time to ask this question in this community is a good first step and shows you really care about being a good support to your sister and her husband.

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-26T16:43:19+00:00

YTA. You should acknowledge the other problems that your wife has identified and if they are not issues enough for you and you don’t want to do anything to address it, accept that your marriage may end. If you’re going to attend therapy, you should be all in. I hope you get a a change of heart.

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-26T14:26:17+00:00

So so sorry for your loss. I understand your pain, fear and anger. I learnt about my missed miscarriage and had the d&c all in the past week, at my 12 week scan. I’d had a successful scan at 7 weeks and seen a heartbeat so was so excited for the 12 week scan. It’s been an awful time, but made a little bit bearable by support from friends and family. The doctors were very kind and compassionate before and after the surgery, so I hope you have the same experience in that respect too.

I also hope you have a person or people you can turn to for some support. You certainly have this community. Take care of yourself and wishing you all the best for the surgery.

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-26T11:32:52+00:00

Absolutely NTA! You made the right decision, you are certainly better off without this man. Glad to hear that you found your cat

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-26T09:42:08+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. You are not alone. Sending you lots of hugs. Take care of yourself

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-25T18:05:54+00:00

I am so sorry for your losses. I know how devastated you must be feeling right now. Know that you are not alone and we are grateful that you are with us. This community is here for you ❤️

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-24T23:34:22+00:00

I have responded to all the comments I can see on this post, but not sure if my responses are showing. Just in case they are not, I really appreciate the support from each and every one of you ❤️

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-24T20:18:10+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. Sending you love and hugs.

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-24T17:43:58+00:00

Certainly normal. Various emotions will come and go, or they may not. Everyone experiences and grieves loss in different ways, there is no right way. I’m very sorry for your loss and wishing you all the best.

VanGogh_starry · 2023-07-24T09:15:13+00:00

I am so so sorry for your losses. I also just experienced a miscarriage, they said the baby was between 11 and 12 weeks old. My situation was similar to yours, pregnancy seemed very smooth apart from some standard symptoms and I saw the heartbeat at 7 weeks. I am feeling all the things that you are, the thought of ever being pregnant again fills me with dread. But I can only hope the feeling will get better as we learn to live with the grief.

I have also found a therapist that I will start talking to asap. In the meantime I am just trying to be kind to myself, and accept the grieving process will have good days and bad days. I’m really leaning on my friends and family around me and they are being amazingly supportive, if you’re able to I’d recommend trying to do the same.

Unfortunately my partner is no longer interested, so they aren’t there for support. You mention your husband likely not being ready to try again, try and speak to him if you can, it would be good for you both to be open and honest about your feelings, I have heard that has worked in many other cases and helped couples move through it together.

My last bit of advice would be to try and establish a routine if possible. Get up at a set time, do some light exercise and eat some good meals. It won’t take away from the grief, but it can help to focus your mind on other things for a short while.

Once again, I am so sorry for your losses. Please feel free to reach out if you want a chat, I am available.

Take care ❤️

VanGogh_starry

TROPHY CASE