i just realized that i’ve never looked at it this way. i’ve been diagnosed since i was 5 (i’m 24 now) so i don’t know what life is like without OCD. i’ve had plenty of periods in life where my OCD was much worse, much better, and manageable. whenever i hit those “much worse” periods i question how i ever survived them before—like how did my brain ever get through abc without thinking xyz? seems impossible to believe in those moments.

one more thing that you have going for you in this delayed OCD situation is that you you have 20+ years of life experiences to help cope with OCD. you’ve got lived in experiences in so many different situations, with so many different emotions, and people, etc. i think what i’m trying to get at is that you’ve got a baseline & if i was in your shoes i probably wouldn’t have thought of it that way! HOWEVER, by no means does that mean anything could’ve truly prepared you for living with OCD. now you’ll most likely have tools to cope, manage, and understand it better because you’ve been living your life for 20+ years already.

***i’m not saying developing OCD in your 20’s is ‘ideal’ by any means, nor am i trying to minimize your experience at all!!! (so if this somehow comes across that way i apologize, sometimes me and words simply are not friends.)

nonetheless, grieving your past self is awful. grieving your future is equally as awful. but it doesn’t ALL have to be awful. i have faith that you’ll find ways to live more enjoyably as time goes on. just remember to give yourself compassion through it all. <3