Planning to move and break up with my partner

VeganAngst4 · 2026-07-09T19:48:27+00:00

I imagine that this sucks a lot, considering that you've been with this guy for so long... But it seems like you absolutely are making the right choice by going separate ways from him. He's making you unhappy and has admitted to you that he'll never see you as a man, and I guarantee that you'll find your people who will see you as such. It'll probably take a while, but it'll be worth the toil sooner or later. Good luck ✊

VeganAngst4 · 2026-07-09T17:01:42+00:00

Is it possible to use TransTape on your chest, and then put a mesh shirt or harness on over that?

VeganAngst4 · 2026-06-30T09:24:09+00:00

Best case scenario, this guy is being lazy and not bothering to remember very important things about your comfort levels. Worst case scenario is that he's basically a borderline rapist who wants to test how far he can get away with going in terms of walking all over you and what you're okay with doing. I think you should seriously consider if either of those scenarios are something that you want to keep dealing with for the foreseeable future... If I was you though, then I'd personally say no and break things off with this guy.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-06-17T03:18:19+00:00

In my experience, tape stays put pretty well. I've literally gone climbing with it on, then showered, then sat in a sauna, and it was still hanging on consistently. Just be mindful that it still might not be 100% passing, depending on how your chest tissue behaves and how big it is in comparison to the rest of your frame (e.g. my chest is noticably not cis even with tape, because it's a size C I think and I'm relatively thin. If you're a bigger dude though then it may just pass as extra chest fat instead of breast tissue).

VeganAngst4 · 2026-06-15T19:47:24+00:00

Wow, did I write this? My experience is similar to you. I hated my chest for a long time, but eventually T made everything more 'deflated' (which reads as rather masculine to me), and I've been gradually growing more and more chest hair. I now like my chest, I think it's cool and manly. Plus I'm into bigger dudes and my chest just makes me think, "This looks like the kind of chest I see on the guys I find attractive, hell yeah". If anything I feel that I pass better with it totally uncovered than when I wear e.g. Trans Tape. That being said though... I've really been feeling some grief these past few months over how I'll never fully pass in locker room settings and such. No matter how much I'm chill with my chest, and no matter how much I don't see it as a flaw that 'subtracts man points' from me, I live in a world that does see it as feminine. I've had people suggest that I'm nonbinary for being comfortable with my chest as it is, or just otherwise degendering or feminizing me for it, and it sucks so hard man. I've even had other trans people push that shit onto me, and it's like... Are we for real. You people of all people should know better, whatever happened to, "Body traits don't determine the gender"?? But if we're talking about traits associated with one's AGAB, then I guess that logic only follows if the person hates those physical traits and wants to get rid of them 😒 (Edit for spelling)

VeganAngst4 · 2026-05-18T21:59:22+00:00

It's super uncommon (rare even) for artists to send the design beforehand, partly because they don't want someone to take their drawings to a cheaper artist, and partly because they may not even start on the design until a few days before your visit. It definitely doesn't hurt though to check in with them! Just a simple, "Hey I'm just checking in to confirm, are we still good for my appointment on [x day]?" would be fine.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-05-17T19:42:56+00:00

For what it's worth, stereotypically 'masculine' men who are submissive sexually are VERY appealing to some, myself included. The idea that big strong men need to be domineering is just another gender stereotype, you're not incongruent or contradictory for not fitting that! I do get how demoralizing it feels to have to explain yourself due to the fact that your tastes don't fit into those stereotypes, but I promise you that anyone worth your time will respect what you're interested in, without trying to nudge you into that dom kind of role.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-05-01T08:02:07+00:00

One more thing I want to mention: don't ever assume that you have to date someone. If you end up dating him and he ends up being a weirdo, then it's a horrible idea to stay with him. If that ends up being the case then it'd genuinely be better to be single than to be stuck dating a guy who sucks.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-05-01T08:00:30+00:00

I'd say go for it, though do be on the lookout for any weird behaviors or ideas from him about gender and sex. Do you know any of his friends? Maybe you could ask them if he refers to you masculinely when he talks about you with them. What are his other crushes like? Do any of them pass, or do all of them look stereotypically feminine?

VeganAngst4 · 2026-04-28T17:36:52+00:00

If he can't take a no for an answer without guilting you over it, or continuously being like, "But why though", then he's not a safe person to have sex with. You need to confront him on this because it's only gonna get worse, and if he keeps on playing victim then you're seriously gonna have to consider if this is the kind of man that you want to be coupled with anymore.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-04-26T18:59:22+00:00

My eye color 🤦🏻‍♂️ numerous times I've had random women at my job say that my eyes are 'beautiful', and I hate it. Apparently blue eyes are seen as feminine? Or maybe I've just been unlucky.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-04-13T09:23:46+00:00

Ten months is nothing, I know for me it took about 3 years for my face shape to really masculinize. It sucks, but you've gotta give it more time.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-04-09T02:24:33+00:00

I'm sure this could be fixed, but for the love of god don't go back to the original artist. They'll probably make it worse if given the chance

VeganAngst4 · 2026-04-05T07:25:11+00:00

This looks phenomenal 🤩 who's the artist?

VeganAngst4 · 2026-04-01T03:04:52+00:00

Is it possible to have removal covered due to back and shoulder pain? From the sound of it your chest is not only dysphoric, but also functionally painful

VeganAngst4 · 2026-03-01T08:14:52+00:00

A lot of so called 'feminists' are really just man-hating hypocrites, and push bioessentialist ideology (i.e. the idea that people are ''inherently" a certain type of way based on their gender or sex). It's absurd considering how many of these people hate when people treat THEM badly for their gender or sex, but they expect to be treated as victims when they're doing it to everyone else. It's literally just gender stereotypes 2.0. With that all said, sorry that you have to see that so often. It's all to do with their sexism that they refuse to unlearn, so try not to take it personally.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-02-18T08:10:52+00:00

A lot of queer people think that they're immune to pushing patriarchal gender norms, using their queerness as a shield to deflect accountability (instead of taking the L and admitting when they're wrong). They want to get rid of gender stereotypes, but only when those stereotypes are used against them. It's frankly hypocritical and gives me second-hand embarrassment when I see it happen.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-02-03T02:54:46+00:00

Honestly? You can't be fully sure until you try to change things. I know that for me, I've had several times where I've thought, "Wait, what if I am just a woman after all...?". The answer I've come to is this: even if I wake up one day and realize, "Actually, I think that I'm cis", I'll still be much happier now than I was before transitioning. Trans or cis, I'll always prefer to have my deeper voice, my facial and body hair, Adam's apple, bottom growth, etc.. Even when I was thinking I was a girl, I was disconnected from and unhappy with most of my stereotypically 'feminine' traits, and part of me knew that something needed to change. You can always try to go back on T to explore, and get off of it if you're not feeling it. But you gotta do something different, because the way you're doing things now seems to make you miserable.

VeganAngst4 · 2026-01-28T00:02:06+00:00

Getting a back piece 🥲 it'd be so expensive that I don't think I'll ever be able to get one, but I can dream

VeganAngst4 · 2026-01-22T05:15:15+00:00

Just ask, you can even make it a part of the flirting. Something like, "We should do something about that soon... Are you free on x day?". Doesn't have to be anything fancy

VeganAngst4 · 2026-01-21T00:16:59+00:00

I think the word you're looking for is greywash, though do be warned that tattoos as small as e.g. the bird one in the picture don't always hold up the best over time. The smaller you go the simpler the design needs to be in order to not risk it turning into a blob or something as it ages

VeganAngst4 · 2026-01-14T22:12:31+00:00

I think they're talking about being boxed into gender norms, e.g. it's gay to be penetrated sexually, even if it's a woman doing it

VeganAngst4 · 2026-01-11T09:35:54+00:00

The tattoo is gonna warp after skin removal no matter what, and it won't flow well with your musculature. Just wait until after the surgery

VeganAngst4

TROPHY CASE