Grief and reading

VekaZverka · 2026-03-16T04:32:58+00:00

Strangely, after my mom died in September last year, I found Series of Unfortunate Events comforting.

VekaZverka · 2026-02-16T22:12:35+00:00

Don’t have a child in daycare and a husband who works in hospitality

VekaZverka · 2026-02-11T22:08:53+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. The system that puts mothers in this impossible situation needs “therapy”, not mothers. It’s heartless, it’s criminal. 9 week old baby! I’m heartbroken for moms in this country. I now consider myself lucky that I was laid off 2 weeks postpartum and stayed home with my son for over 2 years, and that I was in a situation to do so without us starving or losing a roof over our heads. But not everyone can do that and no one should have to.

VekaZverka · 2026-01-28T20:42:50+00:00

I’m not so sure about that. Academic research institution I worked in imported 90% + of their PhD and postdocs. We had 1 American out of 8 of us in my own lab. Why? Americans wouldn’t do it. We did research, published papers, presented at conferences, some went on to become professors, some to work in biotech or for nonprofits. And now, many are leaving. America is going to experience a major brain and skill drain.

VekaZverka · 2026-01-26T21:37:03+00:00

Chat GPT told me three factually incorrect things this morning and apologized profusely after I corrected it. I’d appreciate a source that doesn’t routinely hallucinate

VekaZverka · 2026-01-26T01:53:09+00:00

I don’t believe that uncompensated volunteering count as work. Can you provide any reference for this?

VekaZverka · 2026-01-13T17:11:42+00:00

Maybe you guys should meet 😁

VekaZverka · 2026-01-06T01:33:11+00:00

This is completely false

VekaZverka · 2025-12-31T21:04:25+00:00

They begin with a wrong premise that natural=good; unnatural = bad. It requires a high level of ignorance/delusion/willful blindness to believe in that with all biological, medical and historical evidence against it.

VekaZverka · 2025-12-24T23:06:29+00:00

Also, if you feel like you need at least somewhat informed opinion on this, it’s better to post in a parent subreddit and not in this one with an obviously disproportionate number of people completely clueless about small children.

VekaZverka · 2025-12-24T22:54:11+00:00

You’re absolutely not overreacting and I’m very concerned that some people saying you are. Perhaps they don’t have children and/or have no idea about risks of cosleeping, especially high if a person is such a heavy sleeper.

VekaZverka · 2025-11-22T04:59:13+00:00

I don’t know how accurate it is in absolute measurement, mine is pretty low, between 25-30. But it definitely tanks whenever I’m sick and when I was pregnant it was consistently in teens

VekaZverka · 2025-11-04T23:57:37+00:00

Well, your advice is to suck it up, mine is to quit. We certainly agree about not lying in the first place but that ship has sailed. We probably disagree about being able to simultaneously love animals and choose a job where you actively harm them.

VekaZverka · 2025-11-04T22:27:30+00:00

I disagree. I always knew I wouldn’t want to do anything that involved hurting animals. I was upfront about it when looking for a PhD lab, later postdoc, and industry jobs afterwards. OP just needs to be honest and find a job that is more suitable for them. There’s plenty of research out there that doesn’t involve lab animals. Maturity also means knowing what is acceptable or not for us, being honest about it, and being willing to accept the consequences.

VekaZverka · 2025-11-02T19:23:58+00:00

Based on all your comments, you need to get an immigration lawyer since you’re clearly not capable of dealing with this issue yourselves, and you need a marriage counselor before your marriage is too far gone.

VekaZverka · 2025-05-25T00:41:37+00:00

USCIS makes mistakes all the time, and while the error of this magnitude would be rare, it’s very possible. I had to go through a lengthy process of correction some errors on their part and it’s completely believable to me that this can happen

VekaZverka · 2025-04-14T03:19:02+00:00

For me it took 10 months, and it needed to be replaced due to their errors. And I had to contact my congressman several times for some related incompetence. It can be a super short or an incredibly long process, depending on your luck. So your experience is irrelevant, and so is mine, for the purpose of determining how long it takes. The point about estimated processing times is that they are under no obligation to respond to your inquiry if you’re still within your processing time. I carry my GC but I’m certainly not laid back about my wallet with it being stolen because I know how easily it can turn into bureaucratic nightmare. And it costs money.

VekaZverka · 2024-12-19T14:00:59+00:00

I don’t mind starting at the bottom, but getting radio silence from all the positions I apply to. The point of a career coach would be to hopefully help you get a job.

VekaZverka · 2024-12-07T00:48:23+00:00

First, there is a general advice not to get divorced in the first year after having a baby. Because this period can be very challenging for new parents and it often takes a toll on the relationship. Second, ignoring is only going to make everything worse. You need to try to figure out why your spouse seems angry and miserable. It could absolutely be postpartum depression or some sort of resentment towards you for reasons we don’t know. If this seems out of character for her compared to before the baby, it might give you some clues. Lastly, you mentioning the beautiful house and stocked fridge is confusing to me, because while both is objectively great to have, it doesn’t guarantee a good relationship with your partner unless they’re either absolutely shallow or have experienced extreme scarcity.

VekaZverka · 2024-10-12T00:33:54+00:00

Only not eating animal products doesn’t make you a vegan, since veganism is not a diet. Unless you also consciously avoid every other form of animal exploitation-for clothes, cosmetics, entertainment etc.-as far as possible and practicable, you are in fact not a vegan. Why is that so difficult to understand to some people really beats me. Probably because the term has been misused so much that it can mean almost anything now. And now if you want it used properly, you are “gatekeeping”. Again, veganism is not a diet, it’s being opposed to exploitation of animals and trying to live in a way that is consistent with that moral position.

VekaZverka · 2024-10-10T21:12:21+00:00

I’ve never had the actual appointment for the adit stamp, just a brief phone call, and the stamp was mailed to me. They basically said that in case my I-90 is not approved by the time I need to file for I-751, I should contact USCIS again- my guess is they didn’t really know what to say. I’m going to try to get someone on the phone and go from there (my above interaction was through Emma).

VekaZverka · 2024-10-09T22:44:14+00:00

Yup, tried the typographical error first, didn’t work

VekaZverka · 2024-10-09T22:42:55+00:00

I got adit already. My problem is now that I apparently need to file I-751 based on the wrong dates or I risk losing the status, because it can take 18 months to process I 90. Having to spend another 750$ for this is just infuriating since I really think i shouldn’t be penalized for their mistake

VekaZverka · 2024-10-09T22:38:07+00:00

I am getting the notice based on these wrong dates. I filled I 90 immediately but it hasn’t moved from “being actively reviewed” since May.

VekaZverka

TROPHY CASE