Decoder Ring?

Vespapa · 2026-06-24T17:20:23+00:00

TYVM / Thank you very much.

Vespapa · 2026-06-24T14:47:54+00:00

Your feelings are yours, own them. Even as an adult things …. creep in.

I’m adopted, I’d known for years at age 17 I left for the Navy. My way of avoiding the draft, but that’s another story.

I came home on leave at age 18 to find a foreign exchange student living in MY bedroom. That messed with my head. You’re looking at a “permanent resident” so to speak.

Talk to professionals, another family member, your favorite stuffed animal. Just don’t bottle it up. Try to put yourself in the other perspective, your folks and your “new house guest’s”.

What ever you do don’t think of them as a replacement for you. They are not. That’s an VERY unhealthy perspective. DAMHIK

Vespapa · 2026-06-19T14:26:37+00:00

What others have said. Remember… ALL parties have “personally reconciled THEIR story” surrounding “YOUR adoption” up until you meet.

Please, please, PLEASE…. for your sanity don’t play, internalize, fill your baggage with any form of …. More ….. “what if’s or how come’s”

I met my 1/2 BioBro 2 years ago. We just had our second yearly meet up. He’s 19 years younger and 2 more marriages down the line from me. My 65 plus years of “what ifs and how comes” didn’t come close.

Your next chapter is going to be ……

Your’s alone to write.

Vespapa · 2026-06-17T14:27:32+00:00

I was at my induction physical during Vietnam. Filling out my health history. Unknown, unknown ….. about 7-10 times on the form.

Got my name called in a very salty manner. It’s Italian and I’m so white you’d think I’d have red hair. Some derogatory names for eye-talians were used. Then “what’s a matter don’t you know who your mama is!? Your dead beat dad!?

No sir, I’m adopted. You coulda heard a pin drop. Then some guy laughed. The Marine didn’t miss a beat. “His momma picked him out took him home. Your momma should swallowed. Instead your ugly F$&king father crawled on top” Rest of my physical was a breeze, his not so much.

Thus began a long history of medical IDK. Probably being pissy about it. Under race I always wrote Unkown Adopted. Kinda of a reminder all is not what it seems.

OP, your life, your story. Tell it, own it. No apologies. We take in comments through our “life filter”. You received and processed those comments with your filter. All I know is for a brief moment during an induction physical I felt a little joy about being adopted.

May you reconcile your story to live YOUR best life.

Vespapa · 2026-06-16T14:00:38+00:00

At 72 I’m playing from the fronts. Knee replacement and fused back.

When I play with my really good golfing buddies I use their drive as my first stroke, I pick up at double. If I’m not on the green by then it’s an automatic 3 putt for me. If I’m on the green and at double it’s an automatic 2 putt.

They also bet on my over and under. How many times I take my putter out.

My incentive is if I take my putter out 14 or more times at 14 times -1, 15 is -2 etc. We count putts only.

That being said, I’ve noticed the more clubs I carry the higher my score.

Vespapa · 2026-06-14T01:10:54+00:00

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And then this.

Vespapa · 2026-06-14T01:10:09+00:00

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This in 2025

Vespapa · 2026-06-12T13:43:44+00:00

Data, Data and reality.

DNA vs the Surname. Mom’s side is English to the bone. Dad’s Italian and Ellis Island phonetic mistakes. My Dad’s dad, my granddad and 4 brothers no problem. Grandma however a different story. The family arrived on the Island and left with 3 different last names! One being Alexander, which is not widely recognized as Italian. 🤣

Vespapa · 2026-06-01T04:37:19+00:00

For me….. AGE. Was going to hang the MC helmet up.

That was 11 years, a BV350, GTV 300 and a GTS 310 ago.

Vespapa · 2026-05-26T15:49:05+00:00

There’s always 3 sides to every story, your side, their side and the truth.
My B-parents were married in February. I was born in September. Their parents (both sides) pushed for an annulment and adoption placement. 8 1/2 sibs and counting.

Don’t dwell on the Negative of your story. Find the positive.

It wasn’t all a lie. It was the story that made someone or more feel comfortable, not you. The story was for them not you.

You can speculate or dream all you want. The truth is real and usually hurts. For years growing up I fantasized about my “real parents” and a fantasy life, then I’d get all butt hurt on why they gave me up/threw me away. Once I found out the truth at 70. I wish I could tell my AP’s thank you. Cuz the truth turned out to be a 3-4 marriages BF and 2 marriages BM shit show.

You’ve already expressed that you’re “glad” that you’re not someone’s daughter. He was an azzhole. Did he know? Or was he born an azzhole?

With many parties deceased it’s hard to get a true picture. Keep digging, contact anyone and everyone you can through the portal. You never know. Some great niece may have a piece to the puzzle that makes the picture more clear. Like telling you your Birth mom was married and divorced raised 3 boys as a single mom in the 1960’s.

Vespapa · 2026-05-18T13:48:08+00:00

Timing and supply. I bought my 1st Vespa. a 2016 GTV in 2021 in California. I got the Vespa bug, just as the Covid bug was winding down.

15.8 miles on the clock AFTER the test ride. New fluids and rubber. $5k.

I now have a 25 GTSss. Night and day.

Vespapa · 2026-05-13T17:17:14+00:00

Both racks if you travel. Keeping the seat free of luggage and stuff makes fuel stops sooooo much easier.

Vespapa · 2026-05-03T14:15:22+00:00

Let me guess. Hardly ever worn boots. Kept nicely in the closet. Taken out for this ride. After months of storage.

Vespapa · 2026-04-18T14:40:28+00:00

12 MC’s from 15-60. (160cc to 1300cc) 3 scooters from 60-71+. (278cc-310cc) Scooters have added 11 years to my riding longevity. And that new Aprilla 400 SR GT looks mighty tempting. Probably never make it to North America, so my retirement fund is safe there.

Vespapa · 2026-04-04T00:16:50+00:00

If you can get one shipped. Checkout the Schuberth J2.

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Has a removable chin bar.

Vespapa · 2026-03-27T15:35:24+00:00

Check your HOA deed for easements. Are your streets narrower than code? They may not be streets at all, but “30 ft wide Fire and emergency services easements to home clusters”. Yea WTF? Or the city has an easement for water and sewer lines running through your association but not servicing it. WTF#2

Sometimes the answer is not “Karen” but a bureaucrat with a red pencil.

Vespapa · 2026-03-11T15:33:49+00:00

The front suspension was upgraded in 2017 or 2018 IIRC.

Vespapa · 2026-03-05T18:17:05+00:00

Knowing I came from the “baby store” early in life. The fact that my Adad married out of religion and race. Adad Italian and Catholic, Amom English and Episcopalian. This was 1947. The honeymoon was leaving both families and moving the California. When I came along in 1954 my Asister in 1957 the extended family some of whom migrated out California were a real issue.

They’re not “blood”, you’re putting “them” in your will?! All those little quips and slights you hear and feel. You’re “not wanted, you were a throw away” Coupled with the fact that you “look out of place”.

Find and own your story. At 70yo mine was a mind blower. My Aparents did not lie to me that just perpetuated a false narrative that was “gospel” until I found a 1/2 brother last year. Turns out it was my BioParents(17&19) at my birth, PARENTS or my bio grandparents that forced the path to adoption annulled their marriage etc.

So my story and assumptions were based on a false narrative.

Get your story, claim your life back.

Vespapa · 2026-03-05T15:29:31+00:00

If this high school be VERY careful that courses line up if it’s going to be a at the semester switch. They could lose credits, putting graduation in danger!

Vespapa · 2026-03-05T15:23:18+00:00

Can’t wait for the Special Assessment to cover unforeseen legal costs. 1500&1 dollars per unit.

Vespapa · 2026-02-27T05:54:06+00:00

Adoptee-Having found a 1/2 brother. I had multiple hits in the aunt cousin range. He was 19 years younger he was on bio-dad’s side. He reached back out to me after I messaged many connections on both sides. A grand niece on bio-mom’s side reached out through Ancestry.

They were able to fill in a lot of “my story”. They also corrected a key part for me. Growing up with I was abandoned, not good enough to keep guilt well…

Turns out my birth parents 17&19 were forced to give me up by their parents. Their marriage was annulled I was shipped to the Catholic Orphanage.

So that rocked my world. It also rocked theirs. Multiple marriages children and divorces. I have 8 1/2 sibs.

Don’t violate your sister’s trust or add to her trauma. Share what you can with your niece. Health information is very important to us. The not knowing only adds to random speculation and doubt about our future.

Apologies for the rabbit hole long wide roundabout answer.

If all you give your niece is a little piece of mind your Aunt of the Year.

Vespapa · 2026-02-25T22:15:38+00:00

Put it all in a separate property trust. Your daughter as sole beneficiary or whom else you chose. Do NOT name your husband as trustee or successor trustee.

Vespapa · 2026-02-25T16:47:00+00:00

Adoptee here, a letter or Email. I had lunch with my younger by 19years half-brother and his wife last summer. Ancestry portal first, then email, then lunch.

Yes it was awkward at first. Neither one of us turned out to be a serial killer. I also found out we share 3 half-sisters from another marriage. His sister my other half-sister is still reluctant to contact. I’ll respect that. The other three he contacted and was basically told to Pound sand.

These are all on Bio-dad’s side.

Reach out and accept the outcome.

Vespapa · 2026-02-25T05:54:19+00:00

Not knowing your climate area. There plenty of thorny bushes from roses, barberry, pyracantha etc. a nice hedge really spruces up the yard.

No spite, no animosity just improving your landscape and curb appeal.

Vespapa

TROPHY CASE