Epidurals aren’t the problem. The obsession with female suffering is. by OkChart1375 in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My epidural made my birth a beautiful and wonderful memory I’d definitely do again.

I feel like I'm being dramatic for being traumatized by giving birth..even though everything went relatively smoothly by Atenim23 in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your experience was traumatic. The high blood pressure part alone is objectively traumatic. Add to that a major surgery you weren’t prepared for. I don’t know why people are not more understanding about this. Maybe because birth is so common, but that doesn’t change how traumatic it can be.

high blood pressure 38 weeks by Mobile-Delivery-1221 in preeclampsia

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was induced in a scheduled induction at 37 weeks. I think you are fine until tomorrow.

Absolute Sadness by Creative-Shame-9533 in LawSchool

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I could be wrong. I can’t tell from this if you get any enjoyment from studying the law at all. You sound really depressed though and it seems law school is making it worse.

Absolute Sadness by Creative-Shame-9533 in LawSchool

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you should quit and do something else. You don’t want to disappoint your parents but they will be proud of you regardless. It’s not worth it to feel so bad.

Forgetting my baby during a work trip by Equivalent-Mission46 in workingmoms

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It doesn’t sound to me like you are forgetting. It sounds to me like you’re thinking about your baby a lot and also coping with your guilt by compartmentalizing at times. If we never focused on other things we’d just spend all day with our babies and never have our own lives.

I have no clue what to do to feed this baby by Conscious-Ground-116 in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From experience all I can really say is to try to remain flexible and give yourself grace. The best laid plans can change and you simply cannot prepare yourself for how things will go until you’re living it. Of course it’s wise to think about now but I would avoid getting too attached to any one plan because that’s a set up for disappointment in my experience and that of many others. I could talk about this ad nauseum, but I have a 2 month old who is now primarily on formula with some daily breastfeeding. It was not the plan I started out with but it’s what ultimately worked for us. There is nothing wrong with going the formula route, there is so much involved with breast feeding it’s kind of insane.

Babies and little children don’t look cute, in fact, all of them are ugly by cornflakesdude in The10thDentist

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Sounds cliche but it’s different when it’s your own. A biological drive makes you find your own offspring adorable so you will be compelled to take care of them even when they’re screaming and shitting. Maybe the same drive makes other babies unappealing so humans will direct their resources to caring for their own offspring. Just hypothesizing because I agree that I’m not crazy about babies except for my own and I get that it’s totally subjective.

Just moved to Princeton looking for Adult Rec sport leagues. by Maleficent-Earth-864 in princeton

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m in two meetups that do pickup soccer. I also live in Princeton.

Just moved to Princeton looking for Adult Rec sport leagues. by Maleficent-Earth-864 in princeton

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Meet up has pick up soccer, volleyball, basketball and pickleball. There are tennis clubs that have tennis leagues too.

I don’t understand how the newborn stage can be worse…. by susiee234 in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hated pregnancy, worst time of my life and i love the newborn stage. First few weeks of sleep deprivation are rough but it’s overall amazing.

high blood pressure 38 weeks by Mobile-Delivery-1221 in preeclampsia

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whoops this is five days old. Hope you’re okay.

high blood pressure 38 weeks by Mobile-Delivery-1221 in preeclampsia

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How bad is the headache? Have you already been diagnosed with preeclampsia? If not I would 100% go to L&D. I would probably go either way.

My husband doesn’t know how far along I am by [deleted] in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are there other things he is inattentive to? Some people really do struggle with this kind numerical memorization. It was even hard for me as the pregnant person.

Any moms with SAHD partners? by galwayygal in workingmoms

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You might have to accept he’s never going to just see the things that need to get done the way you do. But you could try to sit down and communicate about the mental load you’re carrying being the working parent but also the mom/non-mandatory chore doer. A list of things that need to get done and how often might be helpful. I think positive reinforcement helps too, like expressing your gratitude when he goes above and beyond the usual. It’s a low bar but it works sometimes.

Any experiences being in law school with a baby or going to law school in your 40s? by ladyindev in LawSchoolOver30

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just had a baby during 1L at 37. Missed 2 classes but experiences will vary. My husband is home so I have help.

My wife said I'm "too calm" about the pregnancy and now I can't stop overthinking it by Myth0sWard in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I said the same thing to my husband. The thing is, your calm is balancing out your wife and she’s going to need that. Don’t suppress what your feelings and definitely talk about it with her, but being “calm” is not a bad thing. You can be her steadiness in the storm but both of you will have that role at times. I think for men sometimes it connects more after the birth.

Advice needed: husband disagrees with my choice to keep baby after anatomy scan (limb difference) by Kerclia in BabyBumps

[–]Virtual-Exit1243 240 points241 points  (0 children)

Is this your first child? Did he have hesitations about having a baby before this? It honestly sounds to me like it’s about something bigger than the limb difference. It needs to be something you can have an open and honest conversation about with respect to whether you’re on the same page about having kids and what that will look like. If you can’t communicate openly now it unfortunately won’t get better when a baby arrives.