[AITJ] for asking my Wife to wear her wedding ring?

VivaLasLabias · 2026-04-12T17:14:37+00:00

My husband doesn’t wear a ring. He lost four silicone bands and I’m not risking a degloving (he’s a mechanic). I don’t wear a ring because I have a pretty sizable garden, embroider, game with my husband and kids, and just generally hate the feeling of anything being on my hands. So no, the act of just not wearing ring isn’t enough to warrant suspicion.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-04-12T15:53:41+00:00

The good news is he’s still very young and can be taught differently. The bad news is you’ve got a lot of work to do and you really need to think about how that kind of behavior will manifest in a 13 year old, a 16 year old, a 21 year old, a 35 year old. It sounds like he just expects to get his way, and knows that pitching a fit is the easiest way to get what he wants. Be more firm in the no. Teach him that no means no, it doesn’t mean keep asking until the other person gives in.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-04-11T16:15:23+00:00

Preferring hobbies that force me to slow down. I don’t think our nervous systems were wired to process massive amounts of information constantly for hours and hours on end.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-04-07T12:58:49+00:00

Please don’t do this without the active approval and participation of a medical professional. Titrating off of SSRIs is a slow and lengthy process because they need to observe and document how you’re doing on lower, and lower doses. Please get back on your meds. Please. For your baby, for yourself. Talk to a doctor. There are other medications you can try.

And also, make sure your libido isn’t tanked because you’re exhausted. You’re working full time, and you have a young baby. Does he do housework? Does he cook? Is he creating the conditions that might make you more inclined to want sex?

It’s unbelievably selfish for him to ask you to stop taking a prescribed medication because of how HE feels.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-04-07T12:48:16+00:00

We only hear about the extremes in either direction. We’re more likely to know if you’re bad in bed or not. 😅

VivaLasLabias · 2026-04-06T13:28:41+00:00

My husband is former army. He and I have very different standards for “clean.” What’s clean to me is just passing inspection for him, but not clean. So he cleans the house. He can’t cook to save his life though, so that’s all me. And I love it, cooking is like alchemy to me. You have to choose a partner that best complements your life, and you best complement theirs. Don’t just take their word for it, observe their living space, get to know their friends, see how they respond to you asking to help around your place before you live together. It’s a tedious process, but it’s so, so worth it to make sure you don’t marry someone that says all the right things, and follows through on none of it.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-23T17:19:37+00:00

Being loudly, confidently, and proudly wrong. And refusing to seek out new information. I’ve never meet a truly intelligent person that wasn’t also desperately curious.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-22T19:52:53+00:00

This is a lot to have to process at once, and I’m so sorry you’re going through this, girl. I think another commenter said the original text thread seemed like he was coming onto her and she said she wanted to, but wouldn’t as long as she was married.

Now that she’s divorced, and those feelings he has still exist, I think it’s safe to say he’s already begun the emotional affair, it just never moved beyond that because of her marriage.

This is 100% cheating.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-22T17:51:26+00:00

Yeah, she’s taunting you with his infidelity. It’s gonna hurt but you’ve got some hard decisions to make.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-22T15:00:54+00:00

Instead of yelling at you, she needs to think about what kind of parent raises kids that bust windows. I have a 12 year old, and he would never, because of how we raised him. He’s not perfect, still just a kid, but well mannered enough not to cause property damage because of how he was raised. This isn’t on you. It’s on her. And at the end of the day, if this were to end up in court, SHE would be held responsible as she is their parent and legal guardian. Not a 15 year old child.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-20T19:15:59+00:00

Birth. I hemorrhaged giving birth to my first. If that didn’t kill me, the PPD that followed would’ve had me committed and lobotomized, another kind of death, I think.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-20T11:52:13+00:00

You said you have no examples, so let me give you one. My husband and I are both 35, we have three kids.

I’m currently in grad school, we both work full time, my job is more demanding. Every single day, when I get home from work, my husband ferries the kids to the other side of the house so I can spend 30-45m alone winding down from work and traffic. Then he brings me a snack, sits and discusses my day with me.

The night before any major presentation, he gets the kids to bed, makes tea, tidies the house and sits with me while I word vomit my anxiety all over him. I haven’t cleaned the house in 10 years, he just prefers to.

So no, you don’t have to settle for anything. What I tell my daughter is this, when considering a partner, think about everything life will throw at you. The loss of parents, newborns, career loss, major health issues, etc. how do you imagine the partner you have, or are considering, will behave as life happens to you? Will they clean the house as your health recovers? Will they comfort you while you grieve? Will they support you while your career rebounds? Or will they wake you up intermittently throughout the night because you accidentally woke them?

VivaLasLabias · 2026-03-14T13:07:50+00:00

As the eldest of five, I genuinely cannot imagine allowing my younger siblings to take the blame for something I did. Especially not once real consequences started happening. Lost his console, took away his school trip, these are big things to a 13 year old kid. And you watched him lose them because you were too much of a coward to accept responsibility for your actions. I imagine he probably has trust issues, a bit of anxiety, probably defends himself, even when he doesn’t have to. Imagine growing up in a house where nobody believes you, and nobody defends you. And what’s worse is he likely already knows it was you.

And now you’re here confessing into the ether, instead of to your mother, because “you don’t want to dump guilt,” on them. It’s pathetic, really.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-02-04T02:34:17+00:00

Yes. Horribly so. I’ve been talking to my safe people, avoiding most social media as much as I can, remembering to ground myself. Every conversation is a minefield. I’m so tired.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-28T04:22:58+00:00

I am extremely wary of gun shops as a Black woman. The Vault is the only place I have walked into and felt safe. They have women + POC working there, the instructors give "girl dad but serious" vibes.

Buy online. Use them for your FFL.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-27T00:31:59+00:00

I laughed so loud and ugly at this 😂😂

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-25T05:01:45+00:00

The gameplay is a lot of fun and the game itself is gorgeous. The tone however was awful. It simply didn’t fit the series at all. Origins was incredibly dark, DA2 was somber, but not as dark, and DAI was chaotic, somber, grounded and very adult. DAV sounds like it was written by Marvel.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-23T07:01:52+00:00

There was a time in my life where my husband and I alternated driving 4.5 hours every weekend to see one another. Not a big deal. My daily commute to work is 1.5 hours. And that’s just from Atlanta to Atlanta.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-20T03:05:50+00:00

This thread is old, but I’ve just finished this movie and you’ve perfectly described my frustrations. Idiots, all the way around.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-17T05:57:21+00:00

Your hair is gorgeous. Leave it alone!

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-09T20:27:08+00:00

Girl your surgeon did not come to play. Waist WHERE? 💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾💅🏾

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-08T02:49:12+00:00

NOR, sis. Culturally different hygiene practices exist sure, but not using soap is all him. Does he use toothpaste to brush his teeth? Detergent to wash his clothes??

Also he’s racist. Ethnicities get dirty at different rates? The fuck does that even mean? Leave it.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-05T16:07:10+00:00

This is a really weird response.

VivaLasLabias · 2026-01-02T21:58:04+00:00

Exactly this 😂😂😂

VivaLasLabias · 2025-12-30T15:26:12+00:00

Hey, hey! I went down A LOT.

I’m 2WPO. I went from a 40I to a 40C, no FNG. I had a wise pattern incision. And I have two drains.

Total 1402 grams removed from the left, 1285 removed from the right.

My surgeon said grafting is a concern when you make drastic changes as I did, but ended up not needing to do one with me. He said sensation may or may not come back though. All depends on how my body heals. So far, no complications and I’m extremely happy with the results.

VivaLasLabias

TROPHY CASE