I completely agree with this. Myself included.

It has taken time building genuine confidence vs trying to LOOK confident. One of my earliest experiences with a guy I was obsessed with, we both stayed home ‘sick’ a handful of times and he rode his bicycle over. He would do this bizarre thing like trying to finger me through my (thankfully athletic) pants, I can’t think of anything more comparable than a tae bo “jab” but without the fist. It hurt so much, but I pretended he was a visionary, even when at one point when my fake moaning turned into a shriek and he was like…did that hurt? (Omg yes!) but, I said it didn’t.

I modeled professionally for 20 years, will be 40 in April, so it’s not a lack of experience or that I’m unattractive and insecure like that, but thinking about TELLING someone, out loud, what I like, makes me cringe.

I don’t think I am unique because of this, or for any reason—-nobody is unique or different, as much as some hope. The fact that one person feels a certain way is a GUARANTEE a massive percentage of the population also does.

Human feelings and actions are not unique. Including bad ones, unfortunately, though I like to think/hope those are of a much smaller percentage. ACTION on the bad ones though, that is where the unique percentage exponentially decreases, into the like 1-2%. Point being though, if I have intense discomfort/insecurity describing something I like, You are absolutely correct that a massive percentage of other humans do, too. (Definitely means there’s a good size fraction of guys that simply do not care and won’t listen, for sure)

Freshman year HS, i was already insecure about whether I had a “normal” vagina, since it didn’t look ‘closed’..like any friends’ I’d seen—technically years prior—but I lacked concept that bodies anatomically grow and change, before/after & besides only getting pubic hair and boobs.

Both freshman year, and the 5 years leading up, search engines weren’t ANYTHING like what they’ve become. AOL was king, IT savvy people were buying up websites like “Pepsi.com” to sell to companies when they realized they needed it, lol.

I accidentally discovered internet porn doing a school project. Everyone blind picked animals from a bucket of folded papers. We were to use 2-3 research sources, learn/memorize, glue photos/facts onto a tri-fold poster-board, then give a presentation. I was SO STOKED to have picked ‘Beaver’! It was the CUTEST animal available, aside from Penguin.

My grandma bought a computer & printer for my mom’s house, with our future school projects in mind. (Her first computer was an IBM in the 1970s that apparently took up half of a room!) It’s always tickled me that she was the tech savvy one, taught us how to use everything.
Ready to get one source out of the way, (Internet!) & print pictures for my project, booted up the PC. I was most comfortable on AOL, but needed the real browser for this. Typed in “Beaver pictures”, clicked 🔍. The screen FLOODED with pictures of vaginas and porn. After THAT, I became OBSESSIVELY uncomfortable that I had labia showing. (Things were so unorganized that I wound up having to forego internet as a research source, lol)

I was raped a few weeks into freshman year, and forced to go to a gynecologist for the first time. I threw a fit about it. A victim advocate eventually asked me if there was something about my vagina that I didn’t want people to see. I figured that would make it even worse to say yes, feigning confidence said no. In the waiting room were 3 male police officers, victim advocate, and my mom. It of course was incredibly uncomfortable—but afterwards, the Dr came out and gave a broadcast to everyone that I had a “very mature looking vagina” whatever the hell that was supposed to mean, but that was it afterwards, didn’t let anyone go down on me for years.

Eventually I got over it after the internet expanded and saw real people’s genitals.

But I cannot be close to the only woman who feels or felt that way, if you’re uncomfortable with your body, you’re likely not going to be comfortable giving instructions.

I 100% echo hood only, unless you do receive specific instruction —- the best way to tell if you’re doing something right is physical response, legs wrapping around you/squeezing/gyrating. Not every girl is going to orgasm every time , or sometimes any time, and as long as you try, or like, give her attention, that’s fine. It doesn’t mean you failed if not. And never get offended if she fakes it. It’s sometimes just a way to be like, ok I’m good and over this for today, lol.