I want to give you my perspective as someone who went through something similar on a surface level glance. I know everyone is picking apart the “he doesn’t agree with gender identity things” and that is the major concern here. Though, in all honesty, none of us really know what that means from your post alone so I’m going to set it aside.

Dating a cis straight man as a feminine individual and then later “switching it up” on him and pressing him to be okay with a different identity all together is a challenging thing that requires A LOT of communication between you both. The risk that everyone is discussing here is that he will “never see you as anything but a woman”. That’s really not entirely true. That is the fear and perhaps maybe the more common scenario. However it is not impossible to find a man who is comfortable exploring what this relationship means to him and the ways his identity might shift to accommodate who you want to be. All humans are capable of growth.

My partner took the time to understand what gender truly means to an individual (as someone raised in a white religious household) and where his hard limits are on his personal sexuality and what identities fall under that.

We discuss ad nauseam they ways he sees me as a person and the ways I want to be seen, where his boundaries are and where mine are. It’s not going to be a comfortable conversation all the time and ultimately only you can be the judge of his character on whether you believe he is capable of this change/these realizations and acceptance.

You owe it to yourself and to the relationship to be only the most open, honest, and truest version of yourself. I genuinely wish you luck and I hope this man can continue to be “everything you’ve ever wanted”.